Published by Lorena Lucille on June 24, 2010 11:21pm. Category: Self Observation
I lost my backpack at a diner, Tuesday, with my wallet in the pocket. I was heartbroken because "I am a servant of the Light." "Why would this bad thing have happened to me?" But, if I believe myself to be a servant of the Light, I have to trust the Light. If I had needed that backpack, as a servant of the Light, I would still have it. If, as an instrument of the Light, I needed to have left that backpack behind so that another self could have an experience that the Light desired him or her to have, then I must trust in myself as an instrument. If God himself had descended from the heavens and asked me to leave my backpack behind, I have to believe I would have. I am a servant of the Light and I believe it.
Published by Lorena Lucille on February 12, 2010 1:29pm. Category: Self Observation
I have reasons for every act I commit, whether it be lying, texting while driving, not cleaning up after myself, using someone else’s gym ID, cutting off another driver, or making too much noise, because I know who I am. I’m one of the “good” people. I’m not one of those people: the really annoying, shameless, and stupid people.
What are their reasons? I do not know this because I am not that person. But our actions are the same. The only difference, from my perspective, between me and them is that I know my reasons for my actions. They have reasons for their actions. And from their perspective they don’t know my reasons. To them I am one of those people.
Published by Lorena Lucille on January 1, 2010 10:36am. Category: Self Observation
I am currently reading the best book of my life—for the second time. It is so profound to me that after having read the last page I started right back at the first page again. It has catapulted my spiritual ambition. It has helped me to understand my meditation practice. It has welled up in me a gratitude for the Master who wrote it so great I often weep while reading it.
It is the same book that I bought 8 years ago. It is the same book I started reading 8 years ago and closed because it was not something I wanted to pursue. It is the same book that sat on my shelf, sat on the floor, lingered in a moving box because I was not interested in reading it.
Published by Lorena Lucille on December 17, 2009 9:00pm. Category: Self Observation
I have noticed several times over the last couple of years that I will respond lovingly to a person who is being unloving, mean, or disrespectful. However, I don't realized until later that the person was intending to be mean.
First, I think I should have said this or that in retort instead of that kindness!
Second, I think Why do I want to have responded unlovingly? I am moving in Love automatically. That's what I want.
It is an illustration of how a lifetime of unloving habits is a tool used by the ego to preserve itself.
Published by Lorena Lucille on November 20, 2009 8:46am. Category: Self Observation
That which I eat is a service to the Light. I eat to sustain this instrument for service. I eat specific foods in order to give me the utmost energy, and health to do that service. When I am sick or fatigued, I loose patience and energy to be of service.
Therefore, some foods are a 'sin' for Lorena to eat. When I willfully choose to eat certain foods that do harm to this instrument, I willfully choose to diminish my ability to serve the Light to my highest and best capacity.
Published by Lorena Lucille on November 5, 2009 11:13am. Category: Self Observation
Carla calls those weak places in the armor of one's Light, chinks in the armor. I allowed a large chink to open up in my armor, Tuesday, when I chose impatience and blocked my Light. I made myself vulnerable when I had been able to find patience in the past during similar occurrences.
It has left me unbalanced for the last couple of days. I feel as though I have let the plug go on my spiritual mass and I am having to recoup my losses.
Today, I have woke with the first touches of a cold and wonder if it was the yelling and tears of two days ago that left my guard open for attack. I thank the Creator for giving me this experience, deftly illustrating how chinks in the armor can lead to physical from metaphysical.
As I repair my armor, I once again ask to be filled with Light and move in Love, that I may not again experience a lapse in my service.