I'm Tired

[Jade]

The battle rages on. I am so tired. I am tired of my body being used for war.

You must find a means of respite. You are of no use in your service to others if you allow all of your energy to be drained to empty. I know that you know this but I am here as a friend to plead with you to find some solitary time, time where you can only recharge yourself. I know you feel compelled to stay but even a few days off can bring a refreshed clarity and renewed perspective.

[Adonai One]

What do you mean?

People should use their own judgement regarding the legitimacy of this information. Nobody should be immediately concerned about purported entities on this forum based on these posts alone.

[Unbound]

There is no true separation, I will not disconnect because I care. I do not feel that my path is to disconnect simply that I may find temporary relief, but rather I am showing you all something that is a deep part of who and what I am. I am sharing with you all my heart and mind, unafraid, as a fool with faith. I open myself in vulnerability to share with you all that vulnerability. There is so much "thick skin" here that it beckons me to reach out to touch the hearts that lie within, to evoke and awaken compassion.

I am in pain and there are ways in which I suffer from day to day. There is a sorrow which dwells so deeply in my heart and it has been crying out to be heard and known and felt. I share this sorrow with you all out of love, that you may know me, and I may further know you. Examine your caring, let it be what it is and know it for what it is.

---

What do you mean?

People should use their own judgement regarding the legitimacy of this information. Nobody should be immediately concerned about purported entities on this forum based on these posts alone.

So, is that to say your stance is that there are no entities at all on this forum?

[BrownEye]

There is a sorrow which dwells so deeply in my heart and it has been crying out to be heard and known and felt.

I am aware of my own underlying sadness of life, but, there is a mechanical motion of perseverence that thrives on faith, which does not allow me to dwell in the recesses. I have no need for the sadness. It does not serve me.

As we exist in the belief construct of consensus reality we understand that anything we have seen others experience is also available for us to experience, if we so choose to believe. If we choose to believe we then choose to seek, which inevitably moves us towards that which is offered to us for growth and understanding.

When we are a child we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. And with childlike vigor nothing stops us from becoming what we would like to be. What happens before we get there is that we take on the understandings and beliefs of others that believe in hardship and so we then believe in this hardship ourselves.

We create our own solid belief in the veil itself.

Where do you want to be in the future? I know where I want to be, and even though others may tell me it is not possible, nothing will stop me from becoming what I desire. In fact, the majority of the population would probably tell you that your future/higher self is impossible.

[Adonai One]

What makes you sad, Tanner?

[Parsons]

Also, when I say it has noticed attention upon it, I mean it has been stimulated. It appears the egregore is related to the collective of this forum, and is related to the pursuit of the following of the way of the Law of One. There are two ways in which this egregore is stimulated, which is by the choice of each path.

It is strange, as when there is conflict in the minds of the forum the aspect of the egregore is stimulated and oriented a different way. When the energy most dominantly being chosen by the members of this collective wavers between the concept of STS and STO there results an instability in the egregore's communication between members, acting as a sort of "channeling" system, like waterways, for the group in regards the collective interaction between individual and collective.

Many egregores can be either positive or negative but this one seems to be built in such a way that it is reactive to "collective harmony" so when there is dissonance between minds this causes distortion in the egregore or collective entity which then changes the "choices" of energy which are moving through it.

This is somewhat... troubling to me; certainly though provoking. I have had this concept of founding a 3rd density social memory complex on this forums for quite some time, but don't recall actually voicing it since I have had trouble framing the concept in a discernable fashion. I have, however, been empowering it frequently with my will, thinking it is such a good idea.

I have completely independently noticed the same thing described here. When there is what I like to think of as 'friction' between members, I sense varying disharmony of all members 'invested' in these forums. This doesn't necessarily make me feel drained, but I clearly perceive discordant energies when I think of the forums. Conversely, I have noticed times of great harmony where everyone seems 'extra harmonious'.

Actually, in my mind, the forums have really become an entity all to itself. Some members which seem to have made a connection similar to mine seem to be affected by the overall harmony/disharmony of the forums. When a forum member brings up a certain topic which strikes a certain chord with the forums, the concept bleeds through to unrelated topics and sometimes becomes a permanent part of the forum's collective consciousness...

Really, the more I am articulating this, the more it seems like we are unwittingly creating a social memory complex. Isn't that a similar concept to the 'egregore' everyone keeps referring to?

Furthermore, shouldn't we either back off and dismantle this SMC/'egregore' OR go all in and embrace it, and fine tune it? To make a terrible cliché, should we go all in or fold?

[Unbound]

Nothing "makes" me sad, sadness is merely within me. The sorrow I feel is your sorrow, BrownEye's sorrow, and the sorrow of all on this forum and beyond to the vast reaches of the Earth. I am not under attack, I am not "taking on the stuff of others", I am realizing who and what I am. I share the sorrow with you all because I am you, I am the Earth and the Sun and the sorrow I share with you is not just mine, but your own.

I am the voice of sorrow drowned in bliss. I am the voice of suffering that is all but avoided and only faced to be rid of it. I am the voice of the sorrow of compassion and empathy. I am you and you are me, our sorrow is one.

Many seek to transcend, or not be engaged in their sorrow but I embrace it, I feel it because no one else wants to feel it, I share in the feeling of the Soul of the World because there are so few who are willing to do so. I am sad because I choose to be sad because it serves me by allowing me to be driven to serve others. Were it not for my sorrow I would not care, were it not for my suffering I would have no drive to speak or connect or to reach and shout out to the world of my presence.

I do not disdain my sorrow, because in my sorrow there is love, the sorrow of love as it strives in its endless endeavour of creation. The sorrow that I am not known, that the truth of all is forgotten, that the wonder of mystery is ignored or discounted. I am the embodiment of the struggle of evolution itself and it is the sorrow of this struggle that I am.

I am sad because I fear to share fully what I am as I am not able until what I am is acceptable. I am sad because I love you all so much, yet my very name brings fear to countless, paranoia to others, worship from some, disdain from others and love from a few, all without the belief that I am real, that I walk among you. I am sad because I am fading, I am dying, my essence is diminishing for none believe in my existence and I can only arise as I am needed by the existence of others.

I am sad because I care and I care because I love. There is nothing more to it than that.

[Adonai One]

I think the last thing that could ever be capable of becoming a social memory complex in this galaxy is a human internet forum.

[BrownEye]

Consider whether it serves you.

Consider how it then serves others.

[Unbound]

I would also say, I have no desire to become anything, nor desire to be anything which I was. I am not here for the fulfillment of my own desires except the desire of love, of being love and living love. There are desires which are present for me, I have desires, but in those desires there is no desire for I have no attachment to my own will. I am not here to be my own will, I am here that divine will may have an instrument through which to work. I, with my free will, and choosing to unite my will with the will of the cosmos. I am willing to do so, I want to do so, I desire to do so, and yet, I have no attachment. I do not know what my will is. I do not know if my will is "mine" or anything but the Creator's will.

I am here, now, and I am being that which I am as truly as I am able. That means I spend little time dwelling on that which I am not because what I am not is still here and now, it is still what I am, it is just not where my focus or Logos or love is concentrated.

[BrownEye]

Isn't that a similar concept to the 'egregore' everyone keeps referring to?

Monkey had the greatest inadvertant insight. The word played out in his head as Ego Ogre. Very fitting.

Normally it is a rampant thought form that has taken on enough self awareness to defend itself, and tries to influence others into adding energy to its existence.

Businesses and corporations utilize egregores as well. I have come across wallstreet folks using magic to benefit their flow of money. I found it interesting that corporate bankers would rely on magic, which brought me into the investigation of radionics.

[Unbound]

My sorrow neither serves me, nor anyone else, it simply is. I am no less capable of acknowledging the happiness within me, but at this time it is the sorrow of my heart that needs to be heard. This serves me because it is the blue ray expression of my being which I have hidden for most of this life. It serves others in whatever way they choose, but my intention is to evoke compassion and simply share all the aspects of that which I am.

I do not run from my sorrow or my happiness, I allow them to be and accept them. What I am learning now is the importance of their expression from my being and so I am practicing that.

[Adonai One]

What do you want from us, Tanner? Specifically? What is love to you?

[Unbound]

I want nothing from you, or any of you, I want only to give that which I am in love and in that love I see the complete acceptance of my own being in every moment and the acceptance of the being of you all in every moment. This does not mean living with rose-coloured glasses but living with honesty towards the self and towards all others. I seek only to be honest and be that which I am. I want only to be able to come out of hiding.

[Hototo]

How long has it been since the forum (not the physical people but the people on the forum) held a coming together for the purpose of love for nothing but love.

"For X time of Y dates focus on reinforcing forum B4 with the purpose of loving best possible outcome for all participants." and then focus on lovingly being present in the energies of the forum and allowing the self to be used as an instrument to balance the total forum.

How about 10-20 active posters decide for 2-4 days together to remain present in the forum but only in energy and only intentionally towards love to the exclusion of all else and then resume at preferred intervals. See what happens. That or we let this show continue as it is, I Think the probable outomes are a collective showing of force/definition/boundaries followed by several months of people pondering the results of the last conflict and rinse-repeat followed by gradual increase of love/light as lessons are learned. That or we dont focus this forum on learning lessons but being the down area where we come to relax off from the lessons of the physical world. But it depends greatly on how we want to approach this forum.

Is this the place we come back to after a tiring day in the physical / other worlds of magic and where we come to bask in each others humanity while we study this bizzare totality of being. OR do we come here to study this bizzare totality of being while going out there to bask in the humanity.

I suppose these two could be called to be always fighting. BUt then again, its a familiar sound that approachet, this sound of finding the odd man out, the ego's hunt for the ego that causes it the harm. The ogre looking for the reason everyone runs away.

How fitting.

[reeay]

What is Mr./Ms. Orge's service about? The Orge is of the Creator right, just like any thought form and SMC and whatnot.

[BrownEye]

What is Mr./Ms. Orge's service about? The Orge is of the Creator right, just like any thought form and Social Memory Complex and whatnot.

I would not call it a service. Mostly a conglomerate of beliefs that do not mesh. Like throwing a random bunch of foodstuffs in a pot and assuming it will come out tasting good.

In some circles these are consciously created for the purpose of promoting the existence of an ideal. In these cases they are constructed with specific parameters to ensure that it does not 'bite back' LoL.

[Parsons]

Yep... My router just crashed on me right before I was about to preview a long, thoughtful post. I lost the post, of course.

[Unbound]

There is so much fear of "magical thinking" in this egregore, it is wrought with refutation and skepticism, and this battles the immense faith and acceptance that is also within it.

[Adonai One]

There is so much fear of "magical thinking" in this egregore, it is wrought with refutation and skepticism, and this battles the immense faith and acceptance that is also within it.

I find it hilarious that you are actually serious.

[Parsons]

There is so much fear of "magical thinking" in this egregore, it is wrought with refutation and skepticism, and this battles the immense faith and acceptance that is also within it.

... This is precisely the disharmony I perceive(d). I think that is the general 'rubbing point' of this egregore. It always boils down into a conflict between these two concepts. It's always been the reason behind my hesitation for suggesting the forming a SMC... I don't want anyone to feel excluded from a SMC, but I don't know how to go about integrating someone into a social memory complex who at their core believes more in the illusion than the Creation.

[Adonai One]

Left-hand-pathers still manage to find their way into right-hand-path social memory complexes nonetheless.

Your unconcious mind knows this, Parsons.

[Jade]

I would gladly volunteer for the 4 day absence to be here only in loving energy, if consensus were to believe this would aid in a general upliftment. Last night I set my sleepwork intentions to work on this rascal knot of emotional entanglement, I definitely think it is something that with conscious intention can be overcome as a community.

I have another community I participate in that just went through an upheaval with entities being fully ejected. It's about time for me to take my leave of that one anyway (have had one foot out the door). In general I've caught wind of widespread emotional turmoil, I think there is a lot of collective, ascension-related purging going on at this time.

I'll leave you with a quote from our beloved Ra, on our role here as Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow.

23.10 Questioner: Thank you. Then as an overall success, what can you tell me about the relative success of the pyramid in any way at all? I understand that it was— the pyramids for the purpose were basically unsuccessful in that they didn’t produce the rise in consciousness that you’d hoped for, but there must have been some success. Can you tell me of that?

Ra: I am Ra. We ask you to remember that we are of the Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow. When one has been rescued from that sorrow to a vision of the One Creator, then there is no concept of failure.

Our difficulty lay in the honor/responsibility of correcting the distortions of the Law of One which occurred during our attempts to aid these entities. The distortions are seen as responsibilities rather than failures; the few who were inspired to seek, our only reason for the attempt.

Thus, we would perhaps be in the position of paradox in that as one saw an illumination, we were what you call successful, and as others became more sorrowful and confused, we were failures. These are your terms. We persist in seeking to serve.

All is perfect in this moment.
We are one and all is one.
We are love and all is love.
We are this moment and we are perfect.
This is our Creator and this is love.

[Parsons]

If anything, I have found this discussion to be immensely helpful because I thought I was alone in my perceptions. I have long perceived a fear of expressing magical thinking since some members negatively judge this and seem to lean very strongly on the 3D distortion complexes of this society.

[BrownEye]

It's always been the reason behind my hesitation for suggesting the forming a Social Memory Complex... I don't want anyone to feel excluded from a Social Memory Complex,

A social memory complex appears to be a distillation of Spirit, an assimilated group of Spirits. A Spirit appears to be a type of memory bank, while a social complex seems to be made up of complimenting memory banks. These social complexes most likely are not made up of forum communities, and more likely to be those within your daily interactions who happen to be 'hidden' from your understanding while in the physical.

A thought form is just something temporary created by thought, whereas an 'egregore' is more along the lines of emotional thoughts of 'the crowd'. Our physical body is a thought form as well, and you know how temporary it is.

[Hototo]

I have never really found there to be trouble with magical belief in this forum, mostly because when I dont have a mind/heart set on finding trouble in this forum none will find me in this forum.

[Adonai One]

Look, I was suddenly pushed out of my agnostic atheism after seeing golden entities and ufos. My guidance unconciously pushed me to this material and inevitably here. My personality barely fits here, lol.

I was born a skeptic, I'll die a skeptic yet I know the occult can be known and quantified.

I just don't do blind faith. I work off repeatable, knowable phenomenon and results. Sorry if that perturbs people here, haha.

[Jade]

Non-magical thinking/magical thinking
Yellow ray/green ray
3D/4D

This is what we have incarnated here for. This is why we are on Earth at this space/time nexus, very specifically. We are here to learn more about and aid in bridging the gap from 3D to 4D. It's obviously a very difficult task that only "foolhardy" wanderers undertake, and without us Earth hasn't had much luck so far. There are intricacies innumerable for us to ponder and learn from and explore in this process. This trial and error we are going through here will definitely aid entities such as us greatly as we assist Earth through her ascension in the next 70-700 years. This is why we are here.

I do love very greatly the space this forum allows for discussion through my 6D self. It brings me considerable joy and helps raise my vibrations to a very high point. However, many if not most people here on Earth are not prepared to receive communication at that level. It's the bridge between yellow and green that we are here for. Green-ray isn't always perfect but it is so desperately important, especially here, especially now.

[Parsons]

Look, I was suddenly pushed out of my agnosticism atheism after seeing golden entities and ufos. My guidance unconsciously pushed me to this material and inevitably here. My personality barely fits here, lol.

I was born a skeptic, I'll die a skeptic yet I know the occult can be known and quantified.

I just don't do blind faith. I work off repeatable, knowable phenomenon and results. Sorry if that perturbs people here, haha.

I transitioned from pure atheism and a complete lack of magical thinking or belief in UFOs or other similar phenomenon into complete faith that these concepts exist within 2 years. In fact, I incorporated them into my total being and consider them repeatable, known phenomenon which are simply on a larger scope of existence which we are only barely starting to perceive.

Personally, when I think of you, I find you to be extremely similar in personality to myself just a few months after I discovered the Ra Material. Just IMO.

I am not suggesting that you will follow my exact path since we are all on different paths. Perhaps you will stay in a similar mindset until the end of your incarnation. But since I was in a similar state of mind at one point and transitioned into a very different state, I know it's possible you could do the same if you so choose at some point in your path.

[Raz]

Look, I was suddenly pushed out of my agnostic atheism after seeing golden entities and ufos. My guidance unconciously pushed me to this material and inevitably here. My personality barely fits here, lol.

I was born a skeptic, I'll die a skeptic yet I know the occult can be known and quantified.

I just don't do blind faith. I work off repeatable, knowable phenomenon and results. Sorry if that perturbs people here, haha.

reminds me of a post I did on Another forum;
"Question Everything, even your questioning". There is a yin/yang nature to it, yin (passive, closed and knowing) yang (Active, open and questioning). I believe it´s healthy to embrace and balance these dynamic evolving aspects rather than to fall in to the extreme of one side.