I'm Tired

[Unbound]

Tired, so tired. So much always in conflict, so many battles of will and desire. It makes me weary and want to rest. For so long the battles have raged and creation and destruction dance about one another.

He's right, she's right, we're right, they're right, no one is right, everyone is right, the creator is right, the destroyer is right, the void is right, and yet he's wrong, she's wrong, we're wrong, they're wrong, no one is wrong, everyone is wrong, the creator is wrong, the destroyer is wrong, the void is wrong.

This is the battle, over and over between the self and the other that is the self.

This is peace.

He is, she is, we are, they are, no one is, everyone is, the creator is, the destroyer is, the void is and he isn't, she isn't, we aren't, they aren't, no one isn't, everyone isn't, the creator isn't, the destroyer isn't and the void isn't.

There is nothing and everything to be seen and perceived in nothing and everything.

Why do we choose 'this' or 'that'? What is and what isn't? What is 'this'? What is 'that'? What is what? Is is what is.

We tell others about the 'this' and 'that' in our own lives, even though they are not. We ask others about 'this' and 'that' and ask them 'this?' or 'that?'. We ask ourselves, 'this' or 'that' and then we choose.

We choose and then look to see the choices of others. We see 'this' and 'that' and we ask, 'this' or 'that'? We say we are this, and if you are this, then we are one, if you are that, then we are not. We say if you are this, then we are that and we are not one.

We cannot be either this or that, because we are one. We cannot be both, for then there is two. We can only be neither, for none is either this, nor that, but only what is. Emptiness means we are neither this or that, we simply are.

This and that are only so for one seeing the one, the self and the other. The self and the other self are not actually this or that, they are empty, however to the self there is this, and the other is that. To the other there is this, and the self is that. There is no other except as 'that' which is seen to be other than 'this'.

The self that is one and the other is what it is because it is what it is and not what it isn't. Isn't it one? One is and one isn't. One is what one is and what isn't is one too.

One is 'this', and isn't 'that', and 'this' isn't one, but one is 'that'. There is no isn't that isn't what is. There is no one that isn't one. There isn't one that is one that isn't. There is only one, this that isn't is, isn't this that is. One is, and is one.

Why do we battle over 'this' and 'that' when all simply is? I am tired. This is what is, right now. Sleep. Blessings.

[Plenum]

too much dishwashing bro! get some sleep

[Hototo]

Sometimes, the dishes need not be washed so often.

---

Also, sometimes it is better to pay a new M/B/S-C in energy that you find commonly around, such as relatively small amounts of money, in exchange for the service of them doing your dishes.

[Lycen]

Sounds like you have become confused by words friend .)
What matters is love

[Unbound]

Amusing, I am on my days off of dishwashing.

[Raz]

Who would you be, when you make Peace with every internal enemie?

[Plenum]

Sounds like you have become confused by words friend .)
What matters is love

MUAH LOVE!!

[native]

Is this Part II of Nuthing But A G Thang that I wasn't aware of? http://youtu.be/_qkP8SvHvaU?t=1m43s

[AnthroHeart]

I was tired before, but I think I'm coming around. Tired of life in general.

[Adonai One]

A name separates. A negation does as well.

[Melissa]

Blessings to you Tanner. Rest well

[Brittany]

I have no words, but I brought hugs.

<Passes out hugs>

[Hototo]

I have no Hugs, but I brought Passing Outs.

<Passes out>

[Jade]

I think it's perfectly okay to sleep when we are weary.

Pleasant dreams my friend.

[Marc]

Rest is found in being-ness, not in things (this or that). I share your feelings, my friend.

All is well.

[xise]

I hear you Tanner, I hear you.

I find it really difficult because I am empathetic energetically, and I end up mirroring and becoming that conflict when I deal with those who interact at that level...but its also related to not perfecting that balance within myself that allows others to affect me in that matter...unless I'm really focused on being in the moment. It's hard man, it's hard....

[Unbound]

I don't know if this forum is healthy for me anymore, right now, I get knots in my gut every time I come on here.

---

I feel like I am addicted, like there are things drawing me here, but often I come and sit on the site page and don't do anything, don't post or read and when I closed the window I feel a whole bunch of energy disconnect from mine. I have been trying to not keep it open in a browser tab because that seems to act as the window. I feel like I am being called, that my assistance is needed, but I also feel like I am being lured to be bent to the will of others.

I am so tired.

[Adonai One]

I sense I am part of this, heh.

Regardless, you have my love.

[reeay]

What do you mean bent to the will of others?

Yeah I feel like I'm contributing to this too. My apologies.

[Unbound]

I feel no love from you, sorry to say, but thanks for the sentiment.

It is not you, or anyone, it is ever my own mind, I am sure. Peace comes from within. Blessings to you.

---

What do you mean bent to the will of others?

Exactly as I say, there are dominant wills on this site who seek to turn others to their vision, just as there are passing radiators that send love to all and seek not to impose their will, there is both. I feel the tension between the two.

---

Love is a word thrown around constantly on this site, and most of the time the word as I see and perceive it is empty of feeling, I can easily feel if someone has put love in to their words.

[Adonai One]

This gentleman here doesn't like my posting style. A lot of people don't. It seems I contradict his ideals a lot and that makes him uncomfortable. Which is understandable. I can't offer subordination but I can certainly offer understanding and empathy.

[Unbound]

You are talking about me as if I am not in the "room", which is rude, and not only that but putting words in to my mouth that I have never spoken nor thought. Please stop projecting your will on to me, if you respect my free will.

My words are my own, and no other speaks for me. Blessings to you, whatever path you are on, I am not here to say this or that, I am simply being honest about my experience of the dynamic here. I have pointed no fingers, fingers are pointed by the self.

[Adonai One]

I have no concept of etiquette. I do not venerate. I express myself as I please and this is my will.

As much as you may doubt it, I will be happy to reconcile things here, in the future, in the afterlife or the void. It's all a game, my friend. Let's not take it too seriously.

[reeay]

This forum does have its dynamics. Sometimes I honestly feel disheartened but then I keep coming back because I enjoy the bonding and the friction. It's a unique opportunity for different type of catalyst for me.

[xise]

Just fyi Tanner, I was going to send you a PM a week or two ago because I could see (feel?) you being drained of energy in your interactions here. I don't know how. I guess its kind of like how I could feel your peace in your videos, especially the one about the wind.

I don't know why I didn't, other than I still am not completely confident in my energetic empathy yet, and that I was studying for a big-ass exam. However, I'm glad to see that you are in a position to now take care of yourself. I wish you peace, brother.

[Jeremy]

It seems many of us are quite tired at the moment. This illusion has become quite heavy as of late for reasons unbeknownst to me. I am less gifted as most here when it comes to the contact I have with any of my guides so I take heart in the experiences of others with their guides so that I have something to look forward to in my hopeful future. This is one of many reasons that I hope Carla makes a speedy recovery as I am yearning to hear what the Confederation members have to say about this ever increasing heaviness that many of us seem to feel.

From what I can "feel", you seem to be on a path similar to Carla's in that you have begun to feel the ill effects of being so of service, your mind, body, and spirit seems to be drained from the ever present service that you put forth to so many here be it from your ever so gracious readings to just simple posts on a thread. Luckily, you haven't been greeted by the ever persistent negative entities to inflict physical anomalies , yet though persistence of such actions may result in this but that's up to you and how you wish to proceed.

I can say, that I do truly enjoy your posts but not at the expense of your well being in any manner of speaking. Sometimes one must take a step back or even bid adieu so that one can regenerate that which has been lost so that one can once again tread upon such uneven and sometimes treacherous terrain in the name of spiritual evolution. I myself can fully admit to being waaay off the beaten path for the last month or so. So far off, I'm wondering how or when I will fully return but I rest assured that I am exactly where I need to be.

Take care brother.

Oh and maybe this.

[Adonai One]

Many many millenias ago, me and Tanner were students of the same school of the arcane arts; rivals, adversaries. Our energies just contrast that way even though being quite close brothers in other settings. He is free to contest this but this is a result of this contrast. Anyways, as I've said, I'm happy to talk things out with him.

It was a pleasure and it will be a pleasure seeing him in the afterlife or perhaps sooner.

[Brittany]

I don't know if this forum is healthy for me anymore, right now, I get knots in my gut every time I come on here.

This. I know this well.

[Spaced]

Tanner-san!!! Be well my brother! I'm filling this post up with as much heart as I can. I want you to know that you are recognized and appreciated.

Much love (for real )

[BrownEye]

I don't know if this forum is healthy for me anymore, right now, I get knots in my gut every time I come on here.

---

I feel like I am addicted, like there are things drawing me here, but often I come and sit on the site page and don't do anything, don't post or read and when I closed the window I feel a whole bunch of energy disconnect from mine. I have been trying to not keep it open in a browser tab because that seems to act as the window. I feel like I am being called, that my assistance is needed, but I also feel like I am being lured to be bent to the will of others.

I am so tired.

Isn't that interesting? I have been aware of this for over a year, and remain for the same reasons. I feel as if there is always an egregore present, which may be similar to an individuation of the larger web 'awareness'. Not to mention, the web is a literal portal to the astral.

Do you know what to do about it as opposed to separating from it?