09-13-2018, 08:04 AM
(09-12-2018, 10:57 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: Interesting. I was beginning to think I was acting out of ego in my latest actions and communications with people.
I thought I was stuck in an ego trap.
The ego LOVINGLY serves us and is there for our protection. I'm working with my ego about this situation with my ex-friend and NOW the fears are abating. I've just got to admit that this person a) is coming back and b) has a lot to answer for. Just because I forgive them doesn't mean I have to take any more s*** from them.
If they can't convince my EGO that I'm safe from abuse and mistreatment, then we're not close anymore. Distance doesn't separate people. Silence does.
The more I accept that my ego deserves a say in this, the more my fears begin to abate. The ego is NOT our enemy. It's not some evil corruptor like we treat it. It's a loving friend who loves and serves us unconditionally, no matter how little we respect it, how much we demonize it and how much we take it for granted, it is there to serve US.
This doesn't mean we have to let it stop us from doing positive things and being positive. It just means that it deserves recognition and a voice. It deserves serious consideration because what it considers, it considers on your behalf.
There's a way to BALANCE love and wisdom. A way to balance love of self and love of others.
If that falls out of balance, the ego steps in to make sure you don't end up getting hurt.
I forgive this friend. And I love them. But I'm NOT letting them hurt me again.
And I don't know about all your latest actions and communications. "Ego trap?" What, you mean wanting to become a shaman? f*** it. There is nothing wrong with feeling proud of doing good work, as long as you're doing it for the benefit of others.
Doesn't mean you can't benefit yourself. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Can't love others properly without loving yourself properly first. Doesn't mean you have to become unloving. Just means you have to love yourself first so you can love others as you love yourself.