09-23-2012, 06:09 PM
I have been working on some yellow ray issues and have taken a new tack recently.
basically, I am addressing the yellow ray issue by asking the question - what do I think of myself when I think of my 'social self'?
this 'social self' is the mental construct of how we think interactions are going to play out when we interact with others. It is the agglomeration of all the given memories that we have had with our parents, siblings, relatives, high school friends, workmates, and other acquaintances.
it is a separate thing from our physical being in a social interaction (we may be quite young and pretty, and yet have a bad self-image of ourself, affecting the yellow ray interaction).
I used as a springboard the example of Albert Schweitzer that Ra gave:
I imagine that his social self was confident, trusting that he would be accepted into the high ranks of society, that he would be welcome in his efforts and speeches, and that he had the respect of many in his endeavour to help those in Africa.
when I look at my social self there are still some anxieties -
* if I lose my job, would I find another one quite easily (social ease, social credentials, well connected)
* I may have mentioned that I was bullied in my younger years because of my race, and so whenever there is a new interaction in the real world, there is this automatic question - "am I going to be rejected just because I am Asian?". This should no longer be an issue (Sydney is very multicultural these days), but this is a lingering scar from childhood that still needs some healing on my part.
- -
the proof will be in the pudding of course. If I think I have corrected some of these yellow ray imbalances the effect will show by a changed approach to my societal self. Would I approach interactions with more confidence and less doubt, would I dance more freely through the physical social space (I always think of a ballroom when I think of yellow ray, a la the unrestricted dancing thoughts of session 1).
basically, I am addressing the yellow ray issue by asking the question - what do I think of myself when I think of my 'social self'?
this 'social self' is the mental construct of how we think interactions are going to play out when we interact with others. It is the agglomeration of all the given memories that we have had with our parents, siblings, relatives, high school friends, workmates, and other acquaintances.
it is a separate thing from our physical being in a social interaction (we may be quite young and pretty, and yet have a bad self-image of ourself, affecting the yellow ray interaction).
I used as a springboard the example of Albert Schweitzer that Ra gave:
Quote:34.10 This entity’s yellow ray was bright and crystallized by the efforts needed to procure the funds to promulgate its efforts.
I imagine that his social self was confident, trusting that he would be accepted into the high ranks of society, that he would be welcome in his efforts and speeches, and that he had the respect of many in his endeavour to help those in Africa.
when I look at my social self there are still some anxieties -
* if I lose my job, would I find another one quite easily (social ease, social credentials, well connected)
* I may have mentioned that I was bullied in my younger years because of my race, and so whenever there is a new interaction in the real world, there is this automatic question - "am I going to be rejected just because I am Asian?". This should no longer be an issue (Sydney is very multicultural these days), but this is a lingering scar from childhood that still needs some healing on my part.
- -
the proof will be in the pudding of course. If I think I have corrected some of these yellow ray imbalances the effect will show by a changed approach to my societal self. Would I approach interactions with more confidence and less doubt, would I dance more freely through the physical social space (I always think of a ballroom when I think of yellow ray, a la the unrestricted dancing thoughts of session 1).
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