OK, I'm back!
While I was in Greece in 2008 I got to work on an archaeological dig which was great! I had an interesting experience sweeping the floor of a 5000 year old Early Minoan home . . . Here I was cleaning someone's house that hadn't been cleaned in millenia!
So this during this period of 2002-2008 when I was really down I failed out of university, got turned down for army service (thank goodness!) and just ended up drifting from menial job to menial job. I have never had enough money to pay my bills and I'm always behind on rent. This is still true, in fact my landlord was by today because I am 2 months behind on rent. Money concerns still remain one of the only things that really gets me down, and I feel like that's exactly what it's designed to do. I used to feel bad about failing out of University but I realized that that's just because my mom was always pushing me to get a degree. I feel like I learned everything I needed to, focusing on Anthropology, Classics and History. I felt often that I was 'falling through the cracks' and that nobody really noticed or payed attention to me, which I found very frustrating at the time, especially in terms of love and romance . . . I only had my first girlfriend at the age of 25, however now I feel that I was being held back for a reason. It's only in the past year or so that I've felt in any sort of power over the course my life, before that I was . . . just drifting in a simple world, none of it seemed real to me until I met my partner and the love of my life in 2010.
I feel like my relationship with my girlfriend is the purpose of my incarnation in this density, though I feel like I will have another purpose in the world to come. The story of how I met my partner seems miraculous to me. We were both members on a message board and there was a Valentines day card exchange, for which I signed up. At that point I was at the peak of my sexual frustration having gone out with only 2 girls, both relationships just kind of petering out as we realized there was little interest on a deeper level. I think that this frustration caused what happened next, a drug resistant staph infection on my scrotum (yup you read that right, and yes it DID really hurt!) I was in the hospital for a week and a half and had to visit the doctor for bandage changes and wound cleaning for a few months. the doctor told me that if I had waited one more day before checking in I would have likely died. When I got out of the hospital there was a hand made Valentine's day card waiting for me that was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever received! we talked online for a bit and she invited me to visit her, so I took the train and it was love at first sight! I didn't feel the lust that I felt towards other girls, which many are tricked into thinking is love, but instead we both felt an instant and deep connection. I called in sick and stayed an extra week and within a few months I quit my job and moved out to be with her.
Certainly we had our arguments and troubles, including my last episode of sleep paralysis where I was stuck in bed and saw her come into the room and shove a pill in my mouth while I feebly tried to shout her name (could this have been a negative entity trying to sour our relationship?), but as we became more and more in tune with each other they all just began to fade away.
Just last month I had what I consider a revelatory experience which I posted in another thread but will repost here:
"I had just come home from my manual labour job and was in a terrible mood. I was frustrated about working all day and still not having enough money to pay rent on time. I was upset that I didn't have the "cool" lifestyle I've always yearned for, that I had never completed my degree, that I lived in a 2 room apartment with a leaky bathroom, and so on and so forth.
In this negative frame of mind I plopped down on my bed. My girlfriend could tell I was upset and came over to comfort me and my cat also came and curled up on top of my chest. So there I was, in a terrible mood yet completely surrounded by love, and just then a clear voice interrupted my whiny train of thought and said simply "Be thankful to God for what you have." I was floored, it definitely didn't seem like something I would think of under normal circumstances . . . but the voice was absolutely right! I looked around and realized that I have everything I need in this life."
Since then I have been more aware of catalyst and what lessons it offers and I feel like my spiritual growth has been increasing exponentially.
Phew I think that's it . . . for now
While I was in Greece in 2008 I got to work on an archaeological dig which was great! I had an interesting experience sweeping the floor of a 5000 year old Early Minoan home . . . Here I was cleaning someone's house that hadn't been cleaned in millenia!
So this during this period of 2002-2008 when I was really down I failed out of university, got turned down for army service (thank goodness!) and just ended up drifting from menial job to menial job. I have never had enough money to pay my bills and I'm always behind on rent. This is still true, in fact my landlord was by today because I am 2 months behind on rent. Money concerns still remain one of the only things that really gets me down, and I feel like that's exactly what it's designed to do. I used to feel bad about failing out of University but I realized that that's just because my mom was always pushing me to get a degree. I feel like I learned everything I needed to, focusing on Anthropology, Classics and History. I felt often that I was 'falling through the cracks' and that nobody really noticed or payed attention to me, which I found very frustrating at the time, especially in terms of love and romance . . . I only had my first girlfriend at the age of 25, however now I feel that I was being held back for a reason. It's only in the past year or so that I've felt in any sort of power over the course my life, before that I was . . . just drifting in a simple world, none of it seemed real to me until I met my partner and the love of my life in 2010.
I feel like my relationship with my girlfriend is the purpose of my incarnation in this density, though I feel like I will have another purpose in the world to come. The story of how I met my partner seems miraculous to me. We were both members on a message board and there was a Valentines day card exchange, for which I signed up. At that point I was at the peak of my sexual frustration having gone out with only 2 girls, both relationships just kind of petering out as we realized there was little interest on a deeper level. I think that this frustration caused what happened next, a drug resistant staph infection on my scrotum (yup you read that right, and yes it DID really hurt!) I was in the hospital for a week and a half and had to visit the doctor for bandage changes and wound cleaning for a few months. the doctor told me that if I had waited one more day before checking in I would have likely died. When I got out of the hospital there was a hand made Valentine's day card waiting for me that was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever received! we talked online for a bit and she invited me to visit her, so I took the train and it was love at first sight! I didn't feel the lust that I felt towards other girls, which many are tricked into thinking is love, but instead we both felt an instant and deep connection. I called in sick and stayed an extra week and within a few months I quit my job and moved out to be with her.
Certainly we had our arguments and troubles, including my last episode of sleep paralysis where I was stuck in bed and saw her come into the room and shove a pill in my mouth while I feebly tried to shout her name (could this have been a negative entity trying to sour our relationship?), but as we became more and more in tune with each other they all just began to fade away.
Just last month I had what I consider a revelatory experience which I posted in another thread but will repost here:
"I had just come home from my manual labour job and was in a terrible mood. I was frustrated about working all day and still not having enough money to pay rent on time. I was upset that I didn't have the "cool" lifestyle I've always yearned for, that I had never completed my degree, that I lived in a 2 room apartment with a leaky bathroom, and so on and so forth.
In this negative frame of mind I plopped down on my bed. My girlfriend could tell I was upset and came over to comfort me and my cat also came and curled up on top of my chest. So there I was, in a terrible mood yet completely surrounded by love, and just then a clear voice interrupted my whiny train of thought and said simply "Be thankful to God for what you have." I was floored, it definitely didn't seem like something I would think of under normal circumstances . . . but the voice was absolutely right! I looked around and realized that I have everything I need in this life."
Since then I have been more aware of catalyst and what lessons it offers and I feel like my spiritual growth has been increasing exponentially.
Phew I think that's it . . . for now
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