07-19-2022, 01:34 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-19-2022, 01:57 AM by Spiritualchaos.)
1
I am sorry for my abrupt reactions, as I am going through a bit of a difficult time during the early stages of my wanderer awakening. I am struggling because my soul family is so lost that they cannot see me, I cannot reach them or help them get unstuck from any situation they find themselves in. Aaron avoids all contact with me, my partner is caught up in 3rd density distractions, like video games and Reddit, and facebook. And even though I’m a Ra wanderer with 2 members of my soul family that I know of on this planetary sphere, I feel alone, once again. I am trying to use my gifts of empathy and intution to better my life, and I am at least succeeding in that as much as I can, and I will be of service at the cost of my own self, every time, because I would do absolutely anyting in order to help other selves heal their pain, suffering and sorrow. And when I fail at that, time and time again, I withdraw from every connection I have in order to force myself to do it alone. And it be honest, I’m fucking tired of that attitude, as it has gotten me nowhere.
I apologize greatly for getting angry and disappearing. I am processing, as the pain and helplessness of the planet and they people on it can sometimes be far too much to bare for those who feel as deeply as I do. I just want to help and I have been angry at how little people around me want to commit to being better. I am surrounded by apathy and all I want to do is alievete the suffering as much as possible. I never stop trying no matter how frustrated I get, but I wish I could help more instead of everything I do, leaving to a dead end that seems to go nowhere, instead. It hurts to feel like I have the ability to help and yet I cannot.
I have a lot of past life memories, but none as confusing and frustrating and difficult as I’ve had in this life, here on this planet. I hope one day I can make greater sense of it al.
(06-29-2022, 05:34 AM)tadeus Wrote:(06-28-2022, 07:48 AM)Spiritualchaos Wrote:(06-28-2022, 03:29 AM)tadeus Wrote: It is the same to every other source of knowledge - please learn to distinguish.
There are sources with teachers who have an attitude that can only be rejected, but who can still provide essential knowledge.
The fact that you cannot see how all of this is connected, makes me feel like you are the one who might be having troubles distinguishing what is worth knowing and what is not. I have no issues seeing the connections, as they are everywhere and in every situation within this spiritual movement and throughout life. I understand the Law of One deeply as I have been living it since the day I came to this place, and this stuff matters. How it effects you physically, emotionally and spiritually matters deeply.
This will be my last post on these boards. Good luck on your journey forward, I hope one day you can learn how to live from your heart and not just your mind. But I am running out of hope for this place when even the wanderers are having difficulties discerning how to live from a place of unconditional love. Love is the most powerful magic in the universe, yet everyone wants to skip over their hearts. That is what the service to self polarity does and I want no part of it.
Beloved sister, whatever I have done to provoke such a reaction - I apologize very much!
From my point of view, we have had a sober discussion here about the nature of teaching/learning, without any attack, insult or grudge on something.
You have telled us that you are in service to others and know you will shut down everything, you have deleted your videos, you refuse any further communication - why?
I am sorry for my abrupt reactions, as I am going through a bit of a difficult time during the early stages of my wanderer awakening. I am struggling because my soul family is so lost that they cannot see me, I cannot reach them or help them get unstuck from any situation they find themselves in. Aaron avoids all contact with me, my partner is caught up in 3rd density distractions, like video games and Reddit, and facebook. And even though I’m a Ra wanderer with 2 members of my soul family that I know of on this planetary sphere, I feel alone, once again. I am trying to use my gifts of empathy and intution to better my life, and I am at least succeeding in that as much as I can, and I will be of service at the cost of my own self, every time, because I would do absolutely anyting in order to help other selves heal their pain, suffering and sorrow. And when I fail at that, time and time again, I withdraw from every connection I have in order to force myself to do it alone. And it be honest, I’m fucking tired of that attitude, as it has gotten me nowhere.
I apologize greatly for getting angry and disappearing. I am processing, as the pain and helplessness of the planet and they people on it can sometimes be far too much to bare for those who feel as deeply as I do. I just want to help and I have been angry at how little people around me want to commit to being better. I am surrounded by apathy and all I want to do is alievete the suffering as much as possible. I never stop trying no matter how frustrated I get, but I wish I could help more instead of everything I do, leaving to a dead end that seems to go nowhere, instead. It hurts to feel like I have the ability to help and yet I cannot.
I have a lot of past life memories, but none as confusing and frustrating and difficult as I’ve had in this life, here on this planet. I hope one day I can make greater sense of it al.