Kindness

[Minyatur]

If you understand other-selves to be mirrors into the self, why would the self lack kindness with itself? Or rather, what does it say about the self for the self to lack kindness towards itself?

I would say it constitutes separation, which I guess is what you are implying.

I feel kindness is akin to or derives from wisdom + compassion, but the compassion cannot exclude self, which is why I say it must be tempered by wisdom. That is, unless martyrdom is sought, which is a state of imbalance—but in this I mean no judgment as it is a choice. And if wisdom is not included, then lack of self-knowledge will bar authentic kindness as the self who does not understand its own motivations may be kind for inauthentic reasons.

The resolution of wisdom + compassion to me is a better goal than kindness. Kindness is too wrapped up in human rhetoric and possibly convoluted or unclear in motivations. Is it okay to lie to a person in order to be kind? The better way to view this conundrum in my mind is to try and be wise and compassionate at the same time including self in the equation. So do I lie to save another's feelings? No. I am honest. But my honesty ideally derives from authenticity, not from a "cause" to prove or in trying to make a point. And in this, one may realize that one is where they are at in this path toward deeper understanding not entwined with 3D collective consciousness, and consciously seeking a greater perspective.

And for me, in lieu of actually having balanced this conundrum, which is deep and many layered, I, in my imbalance, choose to fall on the side of truth, authenticity, and honesty as far as I am able to discern it, as this to me has the greater importance in achieving the final goal of balance (which is only my perspective and not meant as a guide for anyone else). In doing so, I so often fall short of kindness, though, I have made headway over the decades of pursuing this balance. Not really much in the bigger scheme of things, but as is just about everything in this existence, what we think will be is almost never what it becomes. So kindness, having begun as an issue for me long ago as a young adult, has opened a vast and unexpected landscape view of, as Ra puts it, learn/teaching-teach/learning, which has pointed me toward seeking wisdom + compassion in its incomprehensible fullness.

Well the meaning of kindness seems to be: quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.

So to not be this way would imply a state of conflict with oneself. To be unfriendly, without generosity and inconsiderate with oneself. Then, in how we are this way and not with others will reflect which portions of ourselves we see in them. For example, if someone disallows themselves to be emotionally vulnerable, then they will lack kindness towards someone that does. To a large extent though, we are merely giving back to our external reality what we have absorbed from our environment and have been unable to balance within ourselves. So if someone is unkind, you may consider that they've been treated without kindness themselves and are probably processing the portion of themselves they know believe does not deserve kindness or should not receive kindness.

In the example of lying or not, I believe both lying and telling the truth can be done equally with or without kindness. To me kindness is not about wisdom, it is somewhat simply about not being in a state of conflict with something. Wisdom can then inform kindness on the best approach to offer service.