12-13-2020, 01:36 PM
So there's been a lot of frustration within the house lately.
My brother is hurting real bad, he's really depressed and I know he feels lonely these days. I try my best to keep this in mind when we are trying to talk about issues that we have.
It's hard for me to deal with someone close to me saying "I'm done putting effort into our relationship" or "I lost my brother years ago" (referring to when I started dating someone in 2017 and wasn't hanging with my bro as much,) and then he comes up to my room and asks if I want to talk.
He even knocked on my door yesterday, and when I said "not now please" he threw my door open and started yelling at me.
It's like, I know he's my brother, but under any other circumstances this would be a totally abusive and toxic relationship.
I know I play a part in the confusion.... I've said things that I didn't mean. I still have trouble not reacting to him sometimes. I'm not even mad at him, I don't even see this as his fault or anything. This is just sooooo toxic and it doesn't help either of us!
My brother's feelings of hurt and everything else he is feeling are totally valid, I realize that. However, I can't stick around for this anymore. It's too messy. I don't know what's mine and what is his sometimes, yknow?
I've got some forgiving to do. And I think I need to remove myself from this situation as well.
Just wanted to post an update, but also just wanted to get my thoughts outta my system. My mind has been on overdrive the last couple days! Like, pretend conversations happening in my head. It was hard to fall asleep last night. I had an extra long meditation sesh this morning so that helped.
thanks and love to all you lovely peeple
My brother is hurting real bad, he's really depressed and I know he feels lonely these days. I try my best to keep this in mind when we are trying to talk about issues that we have.
It's hard for me to deal with someone close to me saying "I'm done putting effort into our relationship" or "I lost my brother years ago" (referring to when I started dating someone in 2017 and wasn't hanging with my bro as much,) and then he comes up to my room and asks if I want to talk.
He even knocked on my door yesterday, and when I said "not now please" he threw my door open and started yelling at me.
It's like, I know he's my brother, but under any other circumstances this would be a totally abusive and toxic relationship.
I know I play a part in the confusion.... I've said things that I didn't mean. I still have trouble not reacting to him sometimes. I'm not even mad at him, I don't even see this as his fault or anything. This is just sooooo toxic and it doesn't help either of us!
My brother's feelings of hurt and everything else he is feeling are totally valid, I realize that. However, I can't stick around for this anymore. It's too messy. I don't know what's mine and what is his sometimes, yknow?
I've got some forgiving to do. And I think I need to remove myself from this situation as well.
Just wanted to post an update, but also just wanted to get my thoughts outta my system. My mind has been on overdrive the last couple days! Like, pretend conversations happening in my head. It was hard to fall asleep last night. I had an extra long meditation sesh this morning so that helped.
thanks and love to all you lovely peeple