(10-13-2020, 05:27 PM)SP1 Wrote: Do you think you can be STS and ascend to 4D positive?
I want to be STS but I don't want to enslave or hurt anyone.
I wish everyone well being.
I just don't have feelings for people.
I only have emotions for animals.
It is what it is.
I can't force myself to love others.
I hear you.
It is very easy to not like, or want to be like, humankind for so many reasons. This struggle can be more of a general idea of the state of humanity, but many people have personal reasons for feeling disconnected from others.
I have found that one possible core of that conflict is forgiving one's own self for the ignorance or mistakes one makes before becoming aware of whatever one learning along the path of life. I don't mean that there is some mirror in place that points out you did something in the past that you dislike people for now. What I mean is that if you (meaning no one in particular) harbor disquiet, or shame, or wishes you did something differently in the past, this can create a subconscious mindset of blame. This blame then, which has manifested against self, is the lens from which—be it conscious or subconscious—you view the world. It colors everything.
The thing is, we evolve. As we evolve we become aware of more things. We can't blame ourselves (but we do) for things we weren't aware of before we became aware of them. When we look back and see things we did or said or even thought, from the viewpoint of now, it creates a conflict. This could apply not only to this life but "past" lives.
One example would be parenting. (I am not a parent so this is completely hypothetical.) Many parents had their children when they were young. There is no good child-rearing training in our culture. Parents wing it and do the best they can in most cases. Let's say a woman has a child when she is 18 years old. Let's also say this young woman wants a relationship, which at that age, is a very strong biological imperative. So maybe she (unintentionally) ignores the needs of her child in favor of dealing with a dysfunctional relationship with a boyfriend or even a husband. Now fast-forward to this woman being 40 years old, and she is looking back on where she went wrong raising her child because the child, now grown, has committed suicide.
The point here is that the 40-year-old has grown and matured and learned and evolved and become aware of many, many things, which the 18-year-old knew nothing of. This disparity creates a conflict which is difficult to resolve. And though intellectually one may be able to see the difference in awareness of the two different ages, it is a natural human reaction to feel regret or shame or to condemn one's self for not doing better. But the self could not have done better because it did not know better.
I feel that this concept, of conscious or subconscious guilt or shame toward self, is one thing that can keep people stuck in this rut of blaming others, or seeing humankind as a bunch of idiots or sheeple or (add any negative descriptor). To say "all is one," and "all is well" and "you need to forgive" and so on are surface ideas that may not penetrate to the deeper mind. But it is possible to recognize, at least intellectually, that the situation exists here of all of us being veiled, and the more we can absorb this idea, the more organically we may come to a more balanced state eventually moving away from being caught up in the maelstrom here.
Quote:80.11 Questioner: Could I say, then, that implicit in the process of becoming adept is the possible partial polarization towards service to self because simply the adept becomes disassociated with many of his kind or like in the particular density which he inhabits?
Ra: I am Ra. This is likely to occur. The apparent happening is disassociation whether the truth is service to self and thus true disassociation from other-selves or service to others and thus true association with the heart of all other-selves and disassociation only from the illusory husks which prevent the adept from correctly perceiving the self and other-self as one.