09-20-2020, 08:02 PM
(09-20-2020, 05:13 PM)peregrine Wrote: Sometimes it's possible to hold a mirror up to a person so they can objectively see their actions, and sometimes this gets them to reconsider. For instance, "I know you mean well, but have you considered that your saying such things might be intruding too much into my business and not leaving me enough space to make my own decisions?" In this way you can become active (not a passive victim) and preserve some measure of your dignity.
We are going to get there. But there is some preliminary work required. For now this person does not accept criticism of any kind and is working on that and on patience also, among other things. So for me to be a good mirror of truth at this time would not end well. I am curious of what form my communication will look like when I can have a more honest exchange.
I am learning to let myself show/say the effect some of this has on me. At least this way the other have an opportunity to notice.
I am also beginning to feel that sometimes I should let a little bit of irritation transpire, maybe even a bit of anger. Because this other is unconsciously trying to anger at times and I wonder if it would be better to let them have what is "requested" of me even if just a little when it is appropriate.
I am very rarely angry (at least noticeably) and I have been told that when I do let a bit of anger show that this shocks people. It shocks them in a good way, it forces them to stop and think. If I were to always react like "normal" people and get angry all the time, my anger would not have that effect.
Since my nature in this incarnation is to be a good-natured softy.
I am wondering if that is part of balancing compassion with wisdom. That maybe a tiny bit of anger might be wise in some specific cases when the other is unconsciously wanting/needing this from me.