Throat Chakra Blockage?

[Glow]

The lying is more indirect than that.  For example, if someone else believe they should control a part of my life, something that does not affect them at all and really is only on me.  Yet they feel that they have an opinion on what is best for me.  I might lie in such instances.  The lie prevents me from having to explain myself, yet again.  It prevents me from having to defend my freewill using more energy and distortions to basically reach the same goal that the lying achieved.

Now that being said, I know this shortcut is not in the best interests of both the people involved.  I chose it nonetheless for being so much more comfortable.  And obviously this catalyst then continues to present itself because I am not making good use of it.

Imagine if the only way to be yourself without lying is to anger someone else.  So you believe you only have two choices, either lie or do not be yourself.

I was ok with this, because I was working on other things.  But now I am ready to process this catalyst and I am discovering that I really am a coward. 

There is no solution that comes to me intellectually on how to do this without making the other person angry all the time.

So the solution will come from the heart.  I will set my intent, which I have, and the rest will follow, which it is currently doing.  Hence our current exchange is part of that process that is unfolding.

Ohhhh I know someone else who’s been going through this for decades.
Seems super rough especially if you value them in your life despite this catylist. My friend who deals with this has several relationships with this feature.

In that regard for him I always think their are two catylist present in these situations. The one you point out, then also learning the ability to accept others as they are even when they cannot extend that to you. That’s a pretty cool growth direction too.

I figure facing the latter which maybe you are, at the expense of having to keep part of yourself in shadow to them is still growth. I wouldn’t be to hard on yourself.

Just maybe eventually you will find some people it may take work but they will accept what you’ve been not fully transparent about and others maybe it’ll never be worth it to be transparent. That’s ok. It’s still love.

We don’t come here to be perfect. I honestly think it’s impossible we just make the best choices we can for each crazy moment. I’m sure you are doing that.

For the record I haven’t had great bonds from my youth so I have always chosen transparency over continuation of connection if I had to make a choice.

Seems now I am having to learning to be less transparent to one or two in order to maintain the bond, because I value the people and accept where they are even if they cannot offer the same acceptance of my full truth.

I guess all lessons of love have to be faced. We just get them in different orders.

Good luck from what I have seen it’s difficult from the position you are in, if it’s like the situation my friend has let me peer into.

Thanks for sharing