We may live in a simulation.

[ada]

...

Whether it is true or not, you are still 'here' regardless, so what's left is how you think and feel while that experience progresses. You can think that you are trapped and feel miserable about it, calculating and trying to make sense of something that can never be made sense of, and that won't help you in any way. On the other hand you can accept all as it is and not waste your time and energy on worrying.
The point to which you eventually arrive, if there is even such, will only be accompanied by how you thought/felt and acted while you were in movement.

I am sorry for your pain and what you have been through, I imagine it to be not easy, and perhaps scary. I've delt with such things most of my experience too, and I let it affect me many times. But never would anything of benefit come of it, I would only be prone to experience more of it, and lose, lose time, friends, family, myself, and freedom to explore what this experience has to offer.

I don't know how you see the Ra material and what you've made of it. But in case you have read it in length, then you'd see that even they do not know what and why all of this is about, and constantly state that all begins and ends in a mystery.

So please, do not give in to fear, it is not real. You cannot be held, and you have all the power and choice over you. Wherever you go, all is well and nothing is ever lost.