New here need help. Plus did you read this book?

[meadow-foreigner]

Hello Red Raven, I'm gonna share some thoughts here, but keep in mind that whatever I type here will only impress you based on who you are and what you want. Also, I'm not imposing anything. You're free to use or discard what I say if you want so.

I had the impression, while reading about your post, that you seem to fit in that archetype of the "solo-wanderer" from faraway star systems. From what I've seen so far, it's a pattern that these kinds of "solo-wanderers", or descents from higher planes, if you wish, do usually incarnate on Earth in a scattered way.

The process you're going through reminds me of this never-ending thirst for the fluid of life, which can only really be found within. I know your rational self has probably listened to this endless times, though I'm not talking to ego or societal identity here. I'm talking to the whole "You".

There seems to be two kinds of unfulfilling sensations, often experienced by starseeds, wanderers or whatever you wanna call these archetypes:

• The yearning for completion;
  
• The yearning to share your completion;
  

They might occur simultaneously. You might want to share your feelings, which are whole by themselves, and you might want to seek for this kind of "completion", of "true connection" to others. This specifically seems to be an interplay between (mostly) the sacral energy and the heart energy centers.

To picture this dynamic better, imagine that your heart energy center is like an energy flow calibrator. Over-open it and you deplete yourself easily, you wear yourself down because your energy flows so quickly that you have no "regulation". Over-block it and you also deplete yourself with a feeling of "never truly expressing" what you feel, never truly connecting to others, never actually feeling in tune with the world you're in.

• Your own seat of feelings and emotions can be related to your sacral energy center; the psychological "unconscious"; your "timespace mind".
  
• Your social identity, most commonly referred to as the ego, the assigned roles, the misrepresented sense of duty, of a societal "piece" is usually related to your plexus energy center.
  
• Now, if you take care of your nutrition, your chemical balance, be it with water, nutrients, biochemical flow and bodily needs, you take care of your root energy center.
  

Add all of this mixture and you're well on your way to balance your first four energy centers, effectively healing that turmoil you find yourself on. Expressing yourself, perceiving the world and its beings are other things you could to further enhance your ability to live fully.

That's pretty much about it. From my perspective, you won't ever sate your thirst for this kind of "knowledge" because what you actually want to know is yourself.