Hypnotic Regression

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Gem, some of the s*** you say is fuckin baffling. Like this:

"Can my mom decide my next life because she gets upset with me a lot?
At least I'm not Hollywood cause then I'd be possessed by a demon and be a transgender according to her.
It's hard listening to her threaten the lives of everyone in Hollywood."

Like seriously, what the f***? How does one even answer this s***? I mean, the blatant answer to your question is obviously "No" but it's such a baffling question that I can't wrap my head around what would make you think your mom is some sort of god or something who has the power to magically turn your next incarnation into a tranny or a fucking slave. No, she can't do that, and no that most likely isn't going to be your next incarnation. Your mother sounds like an incredibly negative and selfish person who fucking hates herself and hates the self she projects onto other people. Been there, done that.

Instead of being one of the beautiful elites, like so many in Hollywood are, your mother is a broke, bigoted, single (or divorced), crazy old cat lady without the fucking cats, dependent on her schizophrenic, homosexual, 42 year old jobless son for basic s*** like money and a place to stay. This HAS to f*** with her. I have been incredibly negative, I KNOW how that mentality views such situations. I wrote a FAR more detailed assessment, but I thought it unnecessarily scathing, and realized it was, like all things, a reflection of an aspect of myself. Unlike your mother, I am willing to take an honest look at myself in the mirror. This does not mean I can't call a spade a spade or in this case an abusive, negative, angry old lady who mistreats her son because she's mad at herself.

It is not because there is anything wrong with you, or EVEN because there is actually anything wrong with her, but because of her PERCEPTION that there is something wrong with her which is in desperate need of "fixing" and her frustration with her inability to "fix" it. AGAIN, been there done that. Know what it looks like.

That is exactly the kind of s*** that would drive a mother to tell her son that he is going to be a trans or a slave in the next life. It is very telling what kinds of mean spirited fantasies she comes up with to make you worry: Slave, as in, somebody who is completely powerless and who has no status in society, not unlike herself. And Hollywood Trans, which is a very specific form of trans. I'm not going to get too into it, but if she's using Hollywood Trans as an insult/scare tactic, you can bet it says something about her she does not like enough about herself enough to willingly face.

Oh! I had originally overlooked the "possessed by demons" part and the "threaten the lives of everyone in Hollywood" part.

Here, let me break down for you what makes her do that:

1) she disowns the "demonic" aspect of herself, which causes her to lash out and say mean spirited s*** to her own son as he struggles with his own issues while trying to take care of her, even though he's not in the best position to. I am very familiar with self projection. This is exactly that. Am I ALSO projecting by perceiving it? Yes. But I am likely not wrong, and I say this BECAUSE I remember being in that boat. People don't just behave this way for no reason. There is an underlying impetus, and I am familiar with the struggles of that impetus. The demonic possession thing is just a projection of her shadow self.  

2) she resents the elite in Hollywood because they have everything she's angry she doesn't: looks, money, status, power, and people worshiping the ground they walk on. She is angry because they have everything she is mad at herself for lacking.

This is why she abuses you with vicious made up bullshit that few on Earth would ever take seriously, other than to take it seriously as a form of abusive nastiness. She is unhappy with her perceived powerlessness, dependence on others, financial lack, her low status and overall place in society, her unfulfilled and possibly non-existent  ambitions, her failing health, her probably non-existent suitors, her perceived incompetence in the face of adversity, her suffering and the horrific notion of the very real probability that this will not change within her lifetime unless she somehow manages to SERIOUSLY get her act together, somehow, which she doubts she can do. Again, been there, done that.

TL;DR your mom is full of s*** and just taking her nastiness out on you because she's full of piss and vinegar over her grievances in life. DO NOT BELIEVE ANY NASTY s*** SHE SAYS. Or anything else for that matter, now that I think about it.

"I don't know. Being drawn to the Law of One would say I'm an old soul.
But being immature in life, and threatening to  get fired like 3 times at my last job
and not being able to handle pressure would say that I'm a young soul."

Gem, we've been over this. YOU YOURSELF have even posed the question: "What even is an old soul?"

The concept is ludicrous. How can the soul be "old" or "young"? Old and young are terms applied to mortal beings and as such really only apply to the worldly illusion, not to the essence/consciousness of an infinite being.

Concepts such as "Old Soul" "Starseed" "Lightworker" and "Indigo Child" are used ad nauseum within the spiritually woke New Age community because a lot of people have egos and like to think they're special. Do starseeds and lightworkers exist? As LOO seekers, we KNOW they do. But is there a tendency for every Tom, Dick and Hank who started delving into New Age spirituality to hear these terms and concepts and suddenly think they're a fucking higher being from beyond the stars, just because they read spiritual material, meditate and light candles from Gwyneth Paltrow that smell like "Tony Stark's fingers" as Cr1tikal once so eloquently put it? Yes. And it is far from conducive to their spiritual seeking. We've almost all done it from time to time, and then we grew out of it. Some people here still do it. It isn't good for them either. Especially if they just sit there, fantasizing about going to return to some alien homeworld instead of living on this one. Even if they ARE wanderers, they won't make harvest or fulfill their mission doing s*** like that. And they only fantasize about alien homeworlds because they don't want to be in this one. Again, been there, done that. Except I didn't spend time fantasizing on it, just really hoping it was the case, because I didn't like 3D life.

The few people I know who have pierced the veil enough to confirm that they are indeed Wanderers, don't seem to care.

Wanderers are not elite, yet people treat them as though they are, and then fancy themselves to be one so they can feel special and label people they like as being in the same category, just because they do stuff they perceive to be virtuous, as though mere mortals couldn't muster up the willpower. **coghcoughberniesanderscoughough** Even when they know of the polarization process and the fact that we are in a time of planetary harvest.

Do not waste your time jacking off your ego and concerning yourself with whether or not you have some sort of special spiritual identity. If being the One and Infinite Creator is not enough, literally nothing else is. Literally NOTHING ELSE exists.

"I'm 42 and my mom says I act like a child."


And yet she is dependent on you for food, money and a place to live. She is the one in the actual POSITION of a child. And the one in the position of a parent is her OWN child. And that child has a lot of problems which usually prevent people from being independent. And that is who she is forced into a position of dependence on. This is why she is nasty and abusive towards you. She resents this fact, among, I am sure, others.


"I sometimes worry that by me calling on them it forces them to have to work through me.

I sometimes worry that I'm violating Ra's free will."

This is laughable, Gem. You really think that from 3rd density, without having pierced the veil or done any work in consciousness, possibly as a 3D native, living off of the government dole, dealing with schizophrenia and getting bullied by your crazy ass mother, you somehow have the relative metaphysical power to infringe upon the free will of a magickal personality that was once worshiped as a god, built the pyramids and lives in the sun? Just what the f*** are you smoking, who and where is your dealer and how much does it cost? It sounds like some good ass s***. I wanna try!