Ra's Energy

[Sacred Fool]

 
Not trying to discourage you, but you might be well advised to take the process one small "step of light" at a time.  Maybe try each time to go just one tiny step deeper into the Love?  Also, if it makes sense to you, dude, you might try putting the loneliness up front as an humble offering to Ra.  After all, it comes from a very deep and genuine place within, does it not?  Perhaps over time, with their help, bit by bit, you can allow their love/light to vibrate with you in that place?