Sharing feelings

[kristina]

I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world.  They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved.  This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?”  People don’t really want the truthful answer.

We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality.  I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.

Your’s, in truth and light...

When I was younger, I would respond honestly.

When asked about how I feel, I would say something like ''I'm actually suicidal'' and they would continue their fake smiles and acted as if I had told them ''I'm fine''. thinking I've made a wrong social move. and now they are doing me a favor by pretending it didn't happen.


Now I only share my feelings with the few that are not like that. also I don't see much problem with sharing thoughts/feelings here in Bring4th. if I don't over do it, then it's fine.

(I just got the real meaning of the name of this site)  

Are you suicidal? I don't think I could have a fake smile about that. Are there people who would do such a thing?

Not now. but for some years during my early 20s I was.  

Well that happened a few times. one example was a guitar store owner. he would shake my hand and wouldn't let go of my hand for like ten seconds. oh boy that was uncomfortable.

Another time I was waiting with some other people to be visited by a psychiatrist. there was an older guy, I asked him how I can kill myself quickly, easily, without possiblity for survival. he laughed a bit and then quickly said gas.

Former friends considered me lost. my best friend used to tell me I know you, u'll change and will be fine.
Recently she told me that she had been lying at those times.. she was also hopeless.

Now I wouldn't say I'm not depressed.. but it's better than that extreme form of human suffering.

When I here you type I know that there is something far more wonderful about you than possible you may know. I don't know why you are here but I'd place money on the fact that you serve a large purpose. I have been suicidal myself but not for the same reasons. Any way, I love folks like yourself because they offer an edge like no other. I appreciate you sharing. I do wish you love.