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+--- Thread: Sharing feelings (/showthread.php?tid=17182)
Sharing feelings - kristina - 05-02-2019
Does anyone here have a super hard time sharing feelings? Not ideas, not thoughts but feelings? And when you do, do people listen the way you listen to them?
RE: Sharing feelings - BastionPath - 05-03-2019
I've always perceived myself to be a better listener than those that I come into contact with.
The people that truly get me always seem to disappear way too quickly for my liking.
RE: Sharing feelings - RitaJC - 05-03-2019
(05-02-2019, 04:04 PM)kristina Wrote: Does anyone here have a super hard time sharing feelings? Not ideas, not thoughts but feelings? And when you do, do people listen the way you listen to them?
I don't see any need to do so any more. And I don't care if anybody ever listens to me.
All is one to me anyway
RE: Sharing feelings - unity100 - 05-03-2019
I believe it depends. In our society, there are times which you should, and times which you shouldnt.
In general the effort should always be towards more honesty and openness.
RE: Sharing feelings - kristina - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 04:45 AM)RitaJC Wrote:(05-02-2019, 04:04 PM)kristina Wrote: Does anyone here have a super hard time sharing feelings? Not ideas, not thoughts but feelings? And when you do, do people listen the way you listen to them?
I don't see any need to do so any more. And I don't care if anybody ever listens to me.
All is one to me anyway
Yes. I understand your response. In general I feel about the same, however, I do care if someone listens at times because I love them if I care enough to speak. Otherwise, I usually stay pretty reserved especially about the way I feel on an emotional level. I feel deeply, I care deeeply and I love deeply. Sometimes people break my heart. Especially when I cannot share with them my vuinerabilities and at times I am willing to be there with them in that way.
RE: Sharing feelings - Cainite - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 07:19 AM)kristina Wrote: Sometimes people break my heart. Especially when I cannot share with them my vuinerabilities and at times I am willing to be there with them in that way.
Are you saying that they do this out of envy of your perceived lack of vulnerability?
RE: Sharing feelings - Billz - 05-03-2019
I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world. They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved. This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?” People don’t really want the truthful answer.
We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality. I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.
Your’s, in truth and light...
RE: Sharing feelings - Minyatur - 05-03-2019
I don't really have a great need to share my feelings, but I also don't shy away from it when I do. A lot of things I just rather live on my own because I see myself as owning my feelings, like if I am sad I can find beauty in it and can see that there is a part of myself that clings to the state. At other times, I am more in a process of release and find it helpful to share to accelerate the process of balancing. I've rarely been hung up for long on things and for when it was the case it goes back to clinging to the state.
I think my coming short as a listener is that as I internalize another's energy I tend toward balancing it as my own, which may come to be seen as a denial of the other when most people cling to their emotional state. So I tend to do what I do with myself and work the full circle of relativising the thing, internalizing all sides of a story in understanding the common nature reflected in all parties. I try to turn what is unacceptance into that which is understandable and acceptable. Like I had a friend that was cheated upon and talking to me about it made me speak more of how he was disconnected from what she feels and what needs she had to have got to that, how the parts of him that are hurt and angry are actually the part of him that does not love her and instead made use of her to fill his own needs. Let's say I am not the best person to reinforce feelings of victimhood, because I don't distill my own self as such and so I rarely, like I said, remain hung on things. There is a big lesson about that all energies need to move through you, rather than remain stuck.
There are been a few cases where I have been hurt by not being received openly in sharing my feelings, seeing them not matter to another, but where I am at now it is hard to ignore the symbolic and mirror-like nature of events, just as my own needs to have been received that way at those times. You can only blame someone for not being open to what you feel through not being open to what they feel. Let's say you are deep in sorrow, maybe your vibe is heavy in a way that the other person does not have the ability to be open to it with empathy and your desire of it to be so kinda just wishes to pull them down with you, which is not empathic to them either. Being good at being transparent with others implies to have been destroyed in your sense of self and ego, it is not something to expect of everyone nor to want to impose on them.
Nowadays I open to the people it resonates with and naturally don't with those it doesn't. Like I said, there is always a symbolic notion to how things happen. When I don't seem to be what people want to hear, I like to think their unconscious still seek what I have to offer and that it might be a seed for growth. Like how all responses we dislike may also act as such.
RE: Sharing feelings - Cainite - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 11:31 AM)Billz Wrote: I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world. They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved. This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?” People don’t really want the truthful answer.When I was younger, I would respond honestly.
We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality. I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.
Your’s, in truth and light...
When asked about how I feel, I would say something like ''I'm actually suicidal'' and they would continue their fake smiles and acted as if I had told them ''I'm fine''. thinking I've made a wrong social move. and now they are doing me a favor by pretending it didn't happen.
Now I only share my feelings with the few that are not like that. also I don't see much problem with sharing thoughts/feelings here in Bring4th. if I don't over do it, then it's fine.
(I just got the real meaning of the name of this site)
RE: Sharing feelings - JJCarsonian - 05-03-2019
(05-02-2019, 04:04 PM)kristina Wrote: Does anyone here have a super hard time sharing feelings? Not ideas, not thoughts but feelings? And when you do, do people listen the way you listen to them?
Yes, always
RE: Sharing feelings - kristina - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 12:20 PM)Cainite Wrote:(05-03-2019, 11:31 AM)Billz Wrote: I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world. They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved. This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?” People don’t really want the truthful answer.When I was younger, I would respond honestly.
We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality. I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.
Your’s, in truth and light...
When asked about how I feel, I would say something like ''I'm actually suicidal'' and they would continue their fake smiles and acted as if I had told them ''I'm fine''. thinking I've made a wrong social move. and now they are doing me a favor by pretending it didn't happen.
Now I only share my feelings with the few that are not like that. also I don't see much problem with sharing thoughts/feelings here in Bring4th. if I don't over do it, then it's fine.
(I just got the real meaning of the name of this site)
Are you suicidal? I don't think I could have a fake smile about that. Are there people who would do such a thing?
RE: Sharing feelings - Cainite - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 02:37 PM)kristina Wrote:Not now. but for some years during my early 20s I was.(05-03-2019, 12:20 PM)Cainite Wrote:(05-03-2019, 11:31 AM)Billz Wrote: I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world. They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved. This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?” People don’t really want the truthful answer.When I was younger, I would respond honestly.
We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality. I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.
Your’s, in truth and light...
When asked about how I feel, I would say something like ''I'm actually suicidal'' and they would continue their fake smiles and acted as if I had told them ''I'm fine''. thinking I've made a wrong social move. and now they are doing me a favor by pretending it didn't happen.
Now I only share my feelings with the few that are not like that. also I don't see much problem with sharing thoughts/feelings here in Bring4th. if I don't over do it, then it's fine.
(I just got the real meaning of the name of this site)
Are you suicidal? I don't think I could have a fake smile about that. Are there people who would do such a thing?
Well that happened a few times. one example was a guitar store owner. he would shake my hand and wouldn't let go of my hand for like ten seconds. oh boy that was uncomfortable.
Another time I was waiting with some other people to be visited by a psychiatrist. there was an older guy, I asked him how I can kill myself quickly, easily, without possiblity for survival. he laughed a bit and then quickly said gas.
Former friends considered me lost. my best friend used to tell me I know you, u'll change and will be fine.
Recently she told me that she had been lying at those times.. she was also hopeless.
Now I wouldn't say I'm not depressed.. but it's better than that extreme form of human suffering.
RE: Sharing feelings - kristina - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 03:03 PM)Cainite Wrote:(05-03-2019, 02:37 PM)kristina Wrote:Not now. but for some years during my early 20s I was.(05-03-2019, 12:20 PM)Cainite Wrote:(05-03-2019, 11:31 AM)Billz Wrote: I don’t share my feelings, as a rule, because most people simply do not care to function in the real world. They’d rather not deal with the messiness of actually caring or being involved. This approach is pretty lonely, but integrates with our present reality, reflected by the cultural habits displayed in the common question, “ How are you?” People don’t really want the truthful answer.When I was younger, I would respond honestly.
We live a world, a reality, of illusion and most people get all warm and fuzzy when they play the mind games within this manufactured reality. I’d rather not play at all but if you want to rock their world, answer honestly just once and watch someone back-pedal from continuing a conversation this way.
Your’s, in truth and light...
When asked about how I feel, I would say something like ''I'm actually suicidal'' and they would continue their fake smiles and acted as if I had told them ''I'm fine''. thinking I've made a wrong social move. and now they are doing me a favor by pretending it didn't happen.
Now I only share my feelings with the few that are not like that. also I don't see much problem with sharing thoughts/feelings here in Bring4th. if I don't over do it, then it's fine.
(I just got the real meaning of the name of this site)
Are you suicidal? I don't think I could have a fake smile about that. Are there people who would do such a thing?
Well that happened a few times. one example was a guitar store owner. he would shake my hand and wouldn't let go of my hand for like ten seconds. oh boy that was uncomfortable.
Another time I was waiting with some other people to be visited by a psychiatrist. there was an older guy, I asked him how I can kill myself quickly, easily, without possiblity for survival. he laughed a bit and then quickly said gas.
Former friends considered me lost. my best friend used to tell me I know you, u'll change and will be fine.
Recently she told me that she had been lying at those times.. she was also hopeless.
Now I wouldn't say I'm not depressed.. but it's better than that extreme form of human suffering.
When I here you type I know that there is something far more wonderful about you than possible you may know. I don't know why you are here but I'd place money on the fact that you serve a large purpose. I have been suicidal myself but not for the same reasons. Any way, I love folks like yourself because they offer an edge like no other. I appreciate you sharing. I do wish you love.
RE: Sharing feelings - Minyatur - 05-03-2019
(05-03-2019, 02:37 PM)kristina Wrote: Are you suicidal? I don't think I could have a fake smile about that. Are there people who would do such a thing?
I could see people not know to answer to that, so maybe it is likely that they keep smiling awkwardly because they don't know what else to do.