10-12-2018, 07:26 PM
(10-12-2018, 12:33 AM)Infinite Unity Wrote: Very nice and open post. Large sign posts of moving towards that loafty goal of acceptance.
My story is different. I am actually pretty good at a lot of things. I have always excelled with out even trying. However any time I have gotten prideful, I was immediately shown humility. Even though I excell and am pretty good. I have never been succesfull. Seems a paradox to say one is great at many things, yet has no success. As success is usually the measuringing stick of greatness here.
I mean it differently. I mean that I have a great level of skill, yet somehow consistently in my life, success has been very hard to find. Pratically unachievable, to the point at almost any attempt at success, at almost anything, results in a negative loss.
Not only has success been practically unfounded. The feedback I have always gotten from people, is of a hugely mixed type. Almost leaving no room to measurably understand how people see me, or where I even fit in the "hierachy" of yellow and etc. I don't think I do have a realitive fixed position like almost everyone else. I think so many people see me in such a different light and way. That I'm constantly shuffling around with no fixed place. It makes for a really really swerve and unstable experience a lot of times, and others it has a sort of positive effect. It has adamantly strengthened my acceptance of others towards me, and I have been forefronted with so much catalyst, would leave me pulverized if not for at least a threshold of efficacy with them. I even feel like I'm starting to get the hang, and the strength necessary to stay balanced, even with the effects from yellow, and interrelated systems.
It has an odd effect of seeming like it's the first time you've met someone, and there sizing you up and weighing you, and placing you subtely with in the hierarchy, a lot of the times your re-approaching people. Especially people you haven't known that long. Like a new work situation. Then you can tell that they think your weird or something, because "why are they feeling this way about you...??"" type of thing.
Sorry was rushing out the door this morning and didn't have a chance to really reply.
That is a pretty interesting variation of a theme you are living. Do you think it was pre incarnative too? It would certainly be catalyzing and teach an experiencer to eventually give up looking for any kind of validation from the outside world.
What a hard lesson but it separates you from consensus reality in a way which could be useful to keep you focused spiritually.
We all did some weird things to set up strange but hopefully useful life experiences.
I like ya I.U. not that it should matter but I see your worth.