A story I didn't want to share.

[Aion]

He was always very playful when he was in a good mood and you can see it from his first posts here how excited he would get sometimes. That same intensity then seemed to get more depressed with each account. (Also, sorry C_A for going all private investigator, I always liked you and I think your posts are worth sharing again either way.)

These he made in the Treehouse as VanAlioSado.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11309
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11067
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11018
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=10806

Then he switched to The_Tired_Philosopher. Some of these may seem 'mundane', but I find it is those kinds of moments which really show how a person is in their normal state. He was always thirsty for information and had often perused very dark material before.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11520
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11541
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11594
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11627
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11670 This one is where he really starts to feel exhausted it seems. It is perhaps notable it came a short while after he made the previous thread regarding an "Orion" site.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11833
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11663
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=11523
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=12212

https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdis...tecut=9999

I'd work your way from here up to the first page reading his threads. I always felt he was the most 'natural' when he was posting in the Treehouse because it is somewhat more casual. I linked you all the threads there as VanAlioSado, then the switch to TTP, and then eventually it switches to C_A. I would check out all his Treehouse posts.

He always wanted to interact and get close on a personal level and I think that really he didn't get back enough of a response. Most of the threads here rarely last more than a couple pages. The thing is that this tends to be a very casual forum and I always felt he was looking for a more invested experience. Myself being a fairly private person kind of suck at being personable in general I wasn't really able to keep up either, a lot has been going on in my own life.

Also if he ever sees this I hope he can see it that he was well remembered here in a very positive light and that he did have a good impact on the people here, even if he ended up feeling like it was a lost cause.

Here is a thread where he 'names some names' in apology, so that might be enlightening. I think it was his first in the Treehouse as C_A. Minyatur is now Elros.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=14079

In this thread he expressed the importance of meditation to him.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=15023

This is the first thread he ever made here.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=10781

Another good thread sharing his philosophy. You can see in this thread he gets a little disillusioned and ironicly enough I'm the bother. My sense of humour has never translated well through text and I used to be a little too fond of playing devil's advocate. Eventually I realized that playing devil's advocate all the time doesn't really make you any different from the devil itself. So, I don't do that so much anymore. You can see though here how what he was desiring and what was happening in the community was at odds.
However, there is also a post where he mentions that he 'doesn't know whats been up' with him and that he had been irritable.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=12197

Here you can see where his philosophy was oriented earlier on and his thoughts on polarity.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=10907

Here is a good thread showing I think his bewilderment at the attitude that everything negative should just be accepted. This one might be very enlightening for you. In this he also recognizes the Law of One in all his past art and writings.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=15009

However he made this thread only a few days before that thread. So clearly he was fluctuating in his thoughts since in this one he talks about needing to learn from 'bad, evil, dark things'.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=14982

This was his first post when he came back as C_A.
https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=14047