A story I didn't want to share.

[One of Love]

Oh my goodness.  I can see there is a lot of confusion in this place.  I didn't expect the personalities here, he really picked carefully what to reveal.

It is interesting how we see things differently.  I'm trying to withhold judgment here, the simple truth is if this community has people claiming others have been suicidal, and others see the same problems he saw, then what's the true statistic there?

I'm glad you see the similarities in our writing!  I call it wrambling, when there's so much to say but not a clue how to get it all out.

You could imagine what our text messages must look like.

I am adamant when I say I get a funny feeling that there's more going on here than meets the eye, the sudden defenses, the quick writeoffs of reasons.

There is something more going on.  I don't know if it's a natural defense towards something you love or if it's just knighting for a place, when someone you love is driven to attempt suicide because of a community and it's philosophy, and that community is very fast to deny everything...

Denial is a tool of manipulation...  There's people here in this loving community who seem to like hurting others.  This is okay to you all because it's a loving place I suppose.

Xise, your quotes are my tools here as much as yours.  You seem to read it one way while I read it the same way I've always read it.  I don't know what that's supposed to mean but that quote is literally the one I'd have used.  I was told people here manipulate the content to fit their own views and agendas, just surprising having the first quote replied to me be taken in a weird context.  I've seen others but having it done towards me is still no less surprising.

Thank you for showing me the search function.  I read every session at that site and am aware of it.  I wish I knew how to search this site though.  The search engine is a little confusing for me.

I will just share my view of that quote.  A positive higher self doesn't mean to me a selfish entity stemming from it is selfless in polarity.  I inferred that the reasoning was that darkness is needed to better grow the light.  Both polarities at their core equal each other, but until that core is reached it would seem wise to still see them both as individuals rather than sides to the same coin.  The heads side and tails side are alone for a reason, not knowing right behind them is their opposite.  I see polarity somewhat differently from this community it would seem.  I see these views also got into his head from his journal.  Calling darkness light is just pretending to me, and is the prime tool darkness uses to confuse the light.  It would seem some of you got hit with that confusion.

Polarity is to me, the pinnacle important detail in maintaining a proper view of the perspectives given.  If light is darkness you create schizophrenic connections, to disassociate the different energy of positive and negative as equal is the same as scolding a child for doing the right thing and punishing them without reason.  Confusing right and wrong seems to be part of the subtle work of polarity.

I'm glad to see you're doing the rounds, please don't take offense in my not accepting your view.  I feel it is not appropriate for me.

Glow I am unnerved that someone in this community inserted that idea into him.  I intend to get some answers from him when I work up the nerve to tell him.  I do not wish to believe this place is anything but a spiritual community, however if that community is causing suicides then there is something wrong.  God knows I don't know what it is, but if this place can be used to hurt others, people deserve to be aware of that over the enticing introduction page to this place.

He described it as dressing up hell to look heavenly.  I'm kind of getting that same image if the nice loving people here do nothing while others hurt others here.  Are you loving if you watch something torment your friend and do nothing?  I don't feel like it.  My friend, someone I love, is being tormented by bad information he picked up from this place.  It is the underlying seed to his suicidal thoughts becoming actions, he recognized that.  He left to get away but the damage was done.

So now, is anyone going to tell me why that's not partly responsible? If the energy put out by this place harms people like that, how is it there fault for not being able to handle purposefully messed up information intended to harm them?  How can a community that hurts people with love say majoritywise that nothing is wrong?

I've already decided once I've found my answers I'll be taking my leave from this place, to be told one thing then presented with another then told nothing is wrong with that.  Well, that's delusional.  And I won't fight those delusions, you may all keep them as I can't make sense of them.  I have an ideal view of the Law of One philosophy and within one day here attempts to change my view of it have occurred.

I see love in the light around me, I see you are me and I see my delusions too.  I don't have answers to mine so I can't help other's with theirs.  All i know is I am blissfully happy and content with MY life.  It is this love that secretly guided me to him that drives me to be here in this place that energy wise feels pale to that love.  How he unlocked that love in me, how he showed me how to see it, be it, exist within it.

True love guides me, a love beneath space and above time.  I think.  In a way.  It was this place that spawned his hell, interacting with some of the people here would drive him crazy seeing how hypocritical everything is...  Being forced to swallow the views here that don't align for him just to fit in.  I'm kind of getting the picture already.  He's smart in many ways but his trust is too high.  I could see his trust in this place being abused.  He's horrible at describing himself in real time too (probably why he writes) and I could see him blowing up in a spur of the moment argument here unable to process this places energy right.

I have a 95% chance of a feeling I'll find something like that here if some PM's are truthful.

Beyond that, I forgive you all for any future stuff that might come up while I'm searching around.  I don't expect anything in return.

I love, but even love must traverse darkness to bring that love to those places.  Just as we incarnate here to bring that love to earth dark spots, I'm here now in this places dark spots, my love isn't here to shine though, I'm on a mission of mercy.

May God's true love find all of you in those dark spots so I may avoid you all.  Every other being of truth is welcome to interact with me.

Sorry.