discipline of the mind going into 4d

[Stranger]

Anytime we have a miscommunication he decides I am mad(because that is a trigger pattern from how other people in his life have acted) so he basically stops communication, withdrawals in some form of fear/shame/anger/frustration.
It can last weeks or months, up to 7 months on two occasions.

Glow, I enjoy your posts very much.

This one recalled to mind an incident where I was working with someone on healing; he was focusing on his inner world with his eyes closed, and I was guiding.  He was experiencing mental imagery of being out in space, coming to Earth to help at the striking of the hour (incidentally, he is a traditional Christian man with no interest in the mysticism or spirituality).  Anyway, suddenly I had a very fleeting, momentary harsh/judgmental thought about him with a flash of anger - no idea where it came from, probably something inside me that needed healing - and immediately he said (eyes still closed): "I just saw you come right at me and attack me."  I quickly refocused on love and all was well, but this is a nice illustration how the process you describe is barely outside of conscious awareness in all our interactions with others.

On a separate note, it is exceedingly easy to heal our triggers.  This is all it would take for your friend to fully heal the pattern you describe:

1. Close eyes, recall to mind your words that triggered him, and allow the feeling associated with it to arise without judging or trying to suppress or change it.  Simply be present with that feeling for a few moments, noticing and observing it.
(Optional: If the feeling is very intense of unpleasant, imagine a strong box with no openings and put the feeling inside.  Everyone can do this.  Notice how the intensity of the feeling instantly drops.)

2. Let go of any negative feelings toward the feeling; if not sure how to do it, just ask those feelings to step back and they will.  Now focus on the target feeling with caring & kindness (i.e., Love).    I often use the image of holding a tiny puppy.  Hold that feeling in your arms like a puppy and love it.  Over the period of just a few minutes, it will dissolve partially or completely.  Continue until it's completely gone (but don't try to force it to dissolve or change - that's incompatible with love.  Just love it and it will dissolve by itself.)

Now, recall to mind the incident that had initially triggered you, and notice the change in your automatic emotional response.