What does service to self or others mean?

[AnthroHeart]

I really only interact with my shadow self in my dreams. Last night it was a battle and I was a coward.
It was also a little freaky at times. That's like 4th time I recall my shadow self frightening me.
I think I can still polarize STO even if I haven't completely come to terms with my shadow.
But in higher densities it becomes harder to face the shadow from what I've read.