Lotsa Questions

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

...

I love Star Trek!  I know exactly what episode you're talking about~
I remember talking to my Aunt about Star Trek, and she asked me which one I liked the most, the first, TNG, DS9, or Voyager.  I said TNG, and she was flabbergasted with me, couldn't believe I didn't prefer the first series!
Well, I didn't get to explain myself to her, but I loved the first series, it had truly creative and inspiring stories, but TNG has lessons that I could take with me into the remainder of my life, it was more than just a show, it was a teacher.  From discussing the cultural issues of suicide when Worf's spine was crushed, to the inherent flaws of societies that hold themselves arrogantly in brighter lights than they actually are, all the way to the Human Experiment that Data embodies so greatly, a being without emotion that can still act as if with emotion, even at one point disobeying direct commands from Riker in order to save the Exocomp robots which he believed were sentient whereas no one else did, all the way to exploring concepts of losing your sanity (Frame of Mind) to believing you are delusional (episode where Picard is made to believe he is suffering from delusions of being a Starship Captain) all the way to the implications of torture when Picard is captured by Cadassians in a secret mission.
-geeking out!-

Your answer helps me, I feel it ultimately is up to myself to make sense of what is and is not right and wrong for me, personally, to do...

I'll give some insight into my working situation, I was working at a Mcdonalds and was really just trying to find a job that would help mold me into a better worker.  I told the manager this, that I have standards for how places operate, that I want to be held to standards as well to better become a better worker.
Instead I was met with pretty much the worst work situation I could see myself working in, like one of those shows where they try to fix up a failing restaurant, this place was just abysmal
No one showed up on time, some showing up over an hour late, most of them being managers.
Food safety was completely thrown out the door, we were serving green eggs and ham (no joke, the eggs would get so old they'd go green, the canadian bacon would be so old it'd acquire an iridescent shine on the surface that shone green).
Meat would be burned or over-held then served.
The worst was at night though, I was the dishwasher/grill cook so I was always in the back, I got to see just how bad things were.  Half the kitchen was falling apart, the bun toaster would eat buns (and clog up then jam), half the grill was constantly not working, sometimes 3/4th of it would not work, I'd make meat that would come out still half raw, so I'd need to cook home style (flipping the meat patties) which isn't regulation.
The elderly man who worked there propositioned a 15 year old working there for sex, he was suspended one day, a manager who talked about it was suspended for two days.
This same elderly man was expected to singlehandedly every monday and thursday night move hundreds of pounds of inventory dropped off by the truck by himself (a violation of OSHA regulations on hazardous job tasks).
The night manager who barely speaked english would serve half burnt meat and handle ALL of the food with his bare hands.  This includes serving chicken nuggets that fall on the floor or into a trash can.  The first time I saw that I almost threw up because I used to eat at that location very often.
The night shift was also constantly short staffed forcing the night manager to work the kitchen alone while I did dishes just so we could close on time, the result was he couldn't keep up with his own job of making meat and serving it, the result was quality and food standards dropped totally.
I talked to the GM, she knew all about it and didn't care, she was doing what she needed to do to insure her business operated at all.

And for that very last reason, I was left unable to find a solution as to what to do.  Most of the employees were nice, great even, but some of them (day manager) were completely off their rocker at times, the day manager would tell me she taught me things that she didn't, would tell me to do things then tell me the wrong way to do them, then get mad at me.  I could go on and on and on, it was somewhat of a nightmare because all I could think was these poor customers are being sold food not fit to be eaten, and no one cares.

Man gets mugged in our parking lot, not one employee called the police even when I told them they should if it's bad out there.

Overall, I did not make the calls because for starters, me and phone calls do NOT get along, I have total anxiety attacks at making phone calls just to friends or businesses to ask simple questions, heart races, get cold sweats and shaky.  It's ridiculous but that's what happens I guess when you receive world shattering news over the phone again, and again, and again, you just suddenly expect every phone call to be of someone taking a large deuce on you and enjoying it.
And secondly, because that location will get closed down if it's caught, and I don't want to throw all of those people into unemployment...I truly had no idea what was the right thing to do.  So I left.  Still I feel like something should be done...  It just saddens me greatly that a multibillionaire company can't keep one of it's stores properly maintenance'd and staffed.

As far as polarizing probably goes for the overall experience, I'm pretty sure I lost polarity.

I can say I discovered a bit more about myself while working there, for starters I'm apparently a 'people-person', despite my own belief of being a loner of sorts.  I also noticed that others recognized how good I am with customers, how hard of a worker I can be (and how lazy I can be when I'm exhausted), and overall it seems I should be working with people rather than with coworkers, as when it comes to dealing with coworkers I'm completely different.  I believe we have a job and standards of that job to uphold, and that to fail those is to fail not just ourselves but the customers and the business.  So I'm a bit rigid with coworkers, yet at the same time that rigidity applies mostly to the workers who skirt the edges of the rules, everyone else I'm like 'Thank you for doing your job!  You deserve to be told that you're appreciated for the work you do.'

So, I don't know, the situation is...Complicated beyond my ability to reason out what the best course of action to do is.

I admit that I have not considered at all the concept of 'purity', perhaps I need to incorporate that in...  Though I see myself struggling to ascertain what exactly makes something pure when it's not a simple matter of giving love but requires more wisdom involved.  Or...Wait, does purity apply into the balance of Love and Wisdom too?
ermehgerd, I need to contemplate on this...

Personally, having just recently discovered I'm autistic, I'm still...Adjusting to it.  In ways I feel incredibly upset, in other ways I feel like there's something wrong with me, and in other ways I feel like I'm a waste of time to bother working on, because as said, I've been doing the rounds or the 'spiritual grind' to joke about the daily-grind, and have found that everything from deep meditations to daily affirmations and setting of intentions can only provide me a form of rope to guide me.  From there, the rope is only so long and only goes so far, and after a while the path once more becomes as it was without the rope to guide me.
Now, after all these years of this, suddenly to discover why...Like I always dreamed and imagined...And all I feel is frustration that I made myself this way.

Truly as it's been said, life feels like 'one thing after another', and makes me question if the intensity of catalyst is...Well, necessary.  And as comforting as it is to think that a 6D wanderer incarnates knowing fully well the love of the creator awaits it inevitably, I cannot reconcile this with the human ego that the consciousness takes on, sometimes with seemingly disregard for the horrors it will go through, such as those that reincarnated just before the holocaust knowing well they would be imprisoned and enslaved to a death camp or worse, become experiments for the madness of nazi scientists to test upon you.

Have you ever watched an anime called Ajinn?  It somewhat relays this concept of using the human body at the disregard of the entity inhabiting it, in my example I use the same soul only now as an illusive 'separated' amnesiac and human, or essentially veiled and operating from the Yellow-ray body.  Knowing full well it will take on the attributes of separateness, and will be sending itself into the slaughter for it's own long-term sake.  It just feels like the human creation is suddenly being used inappropriately for what could be potentially done, but as I asked Aion, the basic question arises.

If one has the means to change the manner of efficient use of polarity on 3D plane(t)s to reduce the amount of physical distortion towards suffering without taking away the efficiency already present, would it be proper to do so or would it be seen as an attempt to control creation?  (I mean like, how is this design an efficient setup, when Earth uses it largely so inefficiently? ? ?? ?)

I pretty much already do what you've suggested, in fact I mostly only watch Star Trek anymore and play video games.  I don't watch TV, I even try to avoid going outside on some days just to not subject myself to the country-wide psych operation (tinfoil hat alert!) that is the subliminal messaging in EVERYTHING from cigarette box designs to billboard advertising to mico-second picture insertions in playing advertisements all the way to the underlying unconscious pushes by the collective society to make me fit a mold that I simply cannot fit.

It's like a horror manga where suddenly on Earth holes shaped like people appear, and some people realize a hole is for them, and move into it only to become stuck and 'return' to the Earth.  I'm synonymous to discovering a hole that is for me, that society pushed me to find, and then subsequently NOT being able to fit into it.  The horror of this supposed event not being possible but so utterly important can be concerning to me, as I don't want to deal with anymore people looking at me like I'm weird, or thinking I'm gay because of how I am, or judging me to be a stoner just because I look like one.

I just want to go walk outside and be myself without interruption, but I get that it is a necessity to incite growth, I just wish it wasn't so common!

I find that weird how Ra says raising polarity provides us defense from those willing to insert negative thought patterns into us (thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure I'm HIGHLY susceptible to such things...  Sigh...), since in the case of Carla, polarizing seemed to attract a large amount of attention to her.
Which seemed to actually be the general explanation of what happens when someone begins work in polarity up in the areas of 'work in consciousness' where suddenly the mundane 3D energies are interacting with higher energies like Ra's 6D energy from Earth's inner 5D environmental plane.  If you meant to further explain that on the lower end of the polarization potential (as in slowly and casually/'normally' polarizing in a manner similar to two steps forward one step backward) a natural defense accrues, I could see that; but my understanding is that once one begins exponentially polarizing (as constantly AND consistently polarizing creates an exponential multiplier apparently??) will result in garnishing attention from the negative entities patrolling about attempting to nullify these sources of light, who will diligently and near effortlessly work day and night to neutralize the polarity gain if it is severe enough, such as in the case of Carla and Don.
Just makes me wonder if there is a 'safe' boundary of sorts that one can choose to not overstep when polarizing to not acquire attention from negative entities beyond the usual one here or there putting bad thoughts in your head.

It wasn't really totally you that upset me as much as myself...  I do not like violence, like I can appreciate the fun of simulated violence in a safe environment, i.e. video games, paint ball, war game exercises (like the military channel's show 'Special Ops'), but when it comes to actual real combat where one entity is attempting to terminate another entity's incarnation, I'm just disgusted.  We're in the year 2017, virtual reality is becoming a thing, if nations want to wage war, they now have the ability to do so completely virtually (similarly to another episode in Star Trek TNG, where 'bomb simulations' took place in lieu of actual bombings...though that episode is a bad example too since those 'hit' by the simulation in real life had to go basically kill themselves in a suicide chamber), but my point is the only time we truly need to pull out the big guns is when someone else has already done so.

So when I see people speak of dealing with groups like ISIS by nuking them, all I can think is that there has to be another, more humane way.  Sure the group isn't big on humane actions, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world has to stoop down to their level just to do something about it, and further since Trump just pretty much banned muslims (so I've heard, haven't checked personally to see if it's true), it just makes me worried for our immediate future in regards to handling the...What's the word?  Uh...  Er...  Bellicosity! Of the world.
I legitimately am fearful that America will become the next Nazi Germany, heil the third american reich and all of that madness...
I actually fear a lot about the physical violence that's oncoming in the near future.  I am not looking forward to it at all...

I'm fairly aware of when I'm opening and closing energies of love to others, I'm actually a bit too conscious of it that it almost interferes with me.  I'll be able to literally feel the different right in my chest, opening up feels like I'm doing something important, closing down feels like I'm giving up.  I don't typically close myself down RIGHT IN FRONT of a person, but once not in their presence I'll completely shut down sometimes and just lose my mind in frustration at someone.  Then when I'm back in front of them it's just the usual 'keep the love going, because things usually go easier and are easier to handle when done this way'.

A perfect example is the issue that happened over the holidays with my family.  I was visiting my family in another state and my mother was unable to come with as originally planned, because acute bronchitis, so I went alone and got to meet my family that I never knew, and attempted to get to know them.  In the process I, with my stupid act of coming off impolite, pissed off my Aunt who started to yell at me, and my being at that moment was exhausted and tired, so I responded with the simpliest energy of all, I mimicked her.  That pretty much started a massive rift between me and my family, and once she began getting physically throwing her fingers into my shoulder and chest screaming at me, I realized the situation was spiraling out of control and woke myself up in my mind and was like, 'oh crap, this is progressing way too far!' so I turned on my heart, I got quiet and immediately apologized and began making movement to reconcile the situation.  This went so far that we even managed to hug each other and forgive one another, but for me the damage was already done.  I never really knew my family, and when I got to try to know them they poured all of my mother's dirty secrets onto me, trying to paint her as the worst person in the family, then told me everything bad she'd been saying about me, trying to sever what connection I had with the only family I really knew, which is my mother.

The result is I just disconnected myself from my family for the most part.  I never had any real connection with them, and after that I was certain I never would, but I learned very vividly in those moments that I truly can at will turn on and off my own ability to give love, even right in the middle of an escalating conflict, and I call it a conflict because she was ready to kick me onto the curb for the remainder of my time out there, which was several days.  I didn't have any phone numbers of my other family, I didn't know the location at all, or really anything about anything out there.  So maybe I responded with a green-ray energy from a kick start by the red-ray energy being incited as the yellow-ray energies were being assaulted.  I don't know 100%, I just know that I can feel the flow of energy in my body, I can make sense of my chakras to a degree so much so I think it's a potential lifelong plan to become learned in the divination skills that would become available to one able to read chakras, and overall I just think I have a bit of a conscious grasp on my energetic system that will grow so long as I can find ways to educate myself on my chakras and auras, so long as I also perform the internal work of feeling out what information is right and incorrect for me.
So...Maybe I have a basic built in handicap for polarizing since I also have a 'debuff' (excuse the game lingo) of having not as good control of my mental faculties???  Which, would actually be pretty cool, as I could live with that.  A bit of a hit to the mind complex in place of a preincarnational tool being available to aid it's reduced efficiency.
Oh wait, but if that's true then I might have a high probability of the capability to improperly or too quickly polarize...  So much stuff to contemplate, maybe I should've asked less question hehe..

Jade, you managed to answer the heart of my question without actually understanding it, it's possible to sum up my question to, 'does opening the green ray one time for an extended amount of time make one eligible to be harvested, and if so does this happening make harvest imminent at the end of life, or does the green ray need to be opened at the end of the life for harvest to occur?'
Weird how you did that -waves finger at you-  

There are two quotes that can lead one to the assumption that the yellow-ray identity, in this case the human ego, ceases in death.

15.12 Questioner: How does an individual go about balancing himself? What is the first step?
Ra: I am Ra. The steps are only one; that is, an understanding of the energy centers which make up the mind/body/spirit complex. This understanding may be briefly summarized as follows. The first balancing is of the Malkuth, or Earth, vibratory energy complex, called the red-ray complex. An understanding and acceptance of this energy is fundamental. The next energy complex, which may be blocked is the emotional, or personal complex, also known as the orange-ray complex. This blockage will often demonstrate itself as personal eccentricities or distortions with regard to self-conscious understanding or acceptance of self.

The third blockage resembles most closely that which you have called ego. It is the yellow-ray or solar plexus center. Blockages in this center will often manifest as distortions towards power manipulation and other social behaviors concerning those close and those associated with the mind/body/spirit complex. Those with blockages in these first three energy centers, or nexi, will have continuing difficulties in ability to further their seeking of the Law of One.

The center of heart, or green ray, is the center from which third-density beings may springboard, shall we say, towards infinite intelligence. Blockages in this area may manifest as difficulties in expressing what you may call universal love or compassion.

The blue-ray center of energy streaming is the center which, for the first time, is outgoing as well as inpouring. Those blocked in this area may have difficulty in grasping the spirit/mind complexes of its own entity and further difficulty in expressing such understandings of self. Entities blocked in this area may have difficulties in accepting communication from other mind/body/spirit complexes.

The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness. This is that of which you spoke. As you can see, this is but one of many distortions due to the several points of energy influx into the mind/body/spirit complex. The indigo-ray balancing is quite central to the type of work which revolves about the spirit complex, which has its influx then into the transformation or transmutation of third density to fourth density, it being the energy center receiving the least distorted outpourings of love/light from intelligent energy and having also the potential for the key to the gateway of intelligent infinity.

The remaining center of energy influx is simply the total expression of the entity’s vibratory complex of mind, body, and spirit. It is as it will be, “balanced” or “imbalanced” has no meaning at this energy level, for it gives and takes in its own balance. Whatever the distortion may be, it cannot be manipulated as can the others and, therefore, has no particular importance in viewing the balancing of an entity.

47.13 ▶ Questioner: What stimulus would create what we call an Earth-bound spirit or a lingering ghost?
Ra: I am Ra. The stimulus for this is the faculty of the will. If the will of yellow-ray mind/body/spirit is that which is stronger than the progressive impetus of the physical death towards realization of that which comes, that is, if the will is concentrated enough upon the previous experience, the entity’s shell of yellow ray, though no longer activated, cannot either be completely deactivated and, until the will is released, the mind/body/spirit complex is caught. This often occurs, as we see you are aware, in the case of sudden death as well as in the case of extreme concern for a thing or an other-self.

In the bolded, the simple conclusion I came to was if yellow-ray resembles enough so to be called 'Ego' and it is deactivated in death, then this is synonymous to the deactivation of the ego, aka death of the human personality at death.  Or...At the very least I believe a majority of human beings would view it this way, and become moderately concerned about what they will become in death.
In this same way, in the works of Michael Newton, the physical human body is described as a sort of complex machine that without a soul is akin to an empty vehicle, maybe it can be left on, but without a driver it's not going to go anywhere on it's own without very specific things being done to do so.  In Newton's books he even relays that some people who become aware of this become 'greatly disturbed' by the knowledge.  I would put myself in that category.  I feel almost...Bad, participating in this experiment where I use a vehicular-styled physical body complete with circuitry of varying energies (lower triad circuitry, upper triad circuitry, bridge circuitry, crossing lower and upper circuitry without the bridge circuitry intermediary would cause great imbalances) and is overall going to become the basis for the physical identity that the consciousness reincarnating takes on, only then to be used the way a race car driver might use their vehicle, and potentially wipe it out, and in the process of wiping out, stumbled out of the wiped out physical body relatively unharmed in regard to the long-term, while their physical identity has now been essentially murdered if not through irresponsibility, then deliberate actions.

I guess I should mention why these things concern me so much, as someone who's struggled with suicidal desires most of my life, I'd like to not just jump into the fire, so to speak, and kill myself only to discover something I wish I would've known prior to my self-murder.  As such I actually have a mini obsession with NDE's that circle around suicides, a few of those ones in fact showcase that place I spoke of earlier, a plane of souls where they wander around aimlessly miserable from their own experiences on the 3D plane(t)s.  So knowing all I can usually helps me NOT kill myself, which is somewhat ironic as most people, I've noticed, who search up information regarding suicide are looking for ways to make the decision easier for themselves and others around them.  I do not perceive any ease in suicide, I even grow distraught when others call it selfish, as I fail to see how self-murder is selfish, that's like saying a butterfly that gets stuck coming out of it's cocoon and dies because of this is selfishly killing itself.  It's not selfish, it's not selfless, it's tragic and should not have the additional burden of such labels thrusted upon individuals suffering from such feelings as it will only drive to push them over the edge.

-clears throat- I might have some strong opinions regarding suicide so I'll refrain from talking about it more.

I just think it's worth looking into the potential inferences made by Ra that could lead one to assume that the Yellow-ray [personality] shell being deactivated in death is akin to the death of the human ego.  Which is the result of both the absence of the veil returning a recently deceased person's consciousness' memories as well as their true soul ego personality re-emerging from the gradual loss of the amnesiac state.  Perhaps the human lives on in the memory of the consciousness because the consciousness WAS the human life, but it is still somewhat disturbing to me that there's a great potential that when I die, who I am, will not last with who I have always been.

I personally really like me, and I really like a lot of others, and I don't want to see them die and disappear or fade away.  That thought makes me very sad.

Again, sorry about my typos!  Reading your quote of me and I saw it and was just like 'fuuuuu-whoops@@'
I think I get what you're saying.  It's a bit hard for me to understand since I see it that both polarities share one another, and really only deviate in bell-curve like ways in the more extreme ranges only to spiral ultimately back together into each other as they reconvene in the later portions of the evolution cycle.  The result for me is everything seems like everything else, good is good and bad, bad is good and bad, indifference is good and bad, it's all both good and bad, all of it, even the extreme ranges where bad is CLEARLY bad, yet serves some kind of good, just as when good is CLEARLY go--...actually, perhaps in extreme ranges positivity can become even LESS CLEAR, hmmmmm.  Still though, sometimes extreme ranges of good can serve to be bad, such as when someone decides to fast for 21 days twice in a row in the name of positive change, only to permanently damage the body in potential serving those who would want their protests for positive change to cease.

I truly struggle extremely with seeing either positive or negative as PURELY positive and negative, like trying to look at black and white but there's a light film of gray sitting over them, suddenly the black is clearly defined but the white has become gray, yet underlying is still white.
...If that makes any sense  :-/

My justification for giving the homeless "booze money" (and, full disclosure, I've given panhandlers marijuana in various forms several times) is that no matter what, they're gonna buy booze. Maybe my $3 will be enough to at least push them over their "booze money" threshhold into the surplus, "food money" budget. You cannot survive on liquor alone, humans have to eat, so I justify that somewhere, some of the money they receive goes to food. Obviously. And maybe the warm gesture will affect them in other, intangible ways, too.  

And let's not judge the boozers so harshly, yeah? Alcohol keeps you warm, reduces pain - most of the homeless have mental illness of some sort, and this is their way of self-medicating. However, it's also why I enjoy giving them marijuana when I can - it's a more legitimate way to self medicate, and a few tokes will often keep someone away from the bottle for a while. But I just think of how cold these people must get, and what physical ailments they likely have that make drinking/medicating a necessity to function.

I should mention the specific example I cited was of a man who was very well known by those who dealt with him daily that if given the chance he would drink himself to death.  I opted for giving him some water instead.  I think I see how you call it a strong negative polarization by judging someone in need, but in this particular instance I think keeping him from killing himself was more important than polarizing positively, not everything, at least to me, is performed with polarity in mind, sometimes the human experiment demands I shed those concepts for the reality at hand, in this instance, I'd rather polarize negatively than play a part in aiding a homeless man's death.

I should also point out 1/3rd if not more of homeless people have jobs that cannot pay for rent or a mortgage, who are not mentally ill but purely down on their luck.  While it is still proper to generalize most homeless as having a mental illness, I highly question if this is actually true or a misinformation thrown out to further degrade the empathy that can be given to these people.  Almost every single homeless person I've met has their faculties about themselves FAR better than I myself do.  If these people who are smart enough to groom themselves somehow, feed themselves somehow, keep themselves not just alive, but socially acceptable looking, somehow, then I would not identify them as having a mental illness that is severe enough to be singlehandedly the cause of their homelessness, and thus it is unfair to them to identify them as a 'mentally ill homeless person', that just comes off like 'not important enough to care about', or at the very least, 'not someone worth helping'.

Every single homeless person is worth helping, even the schizophrenic ones who look at you and just keep saying 'I don't have a gun'.  I once met a black man around 18 years old who was clearly schizophrenic, he walked up to me at my job and the first thing he said was 'please don't call the cops I don't have a weapon', and it was pretty clear that the police had roughed him up.  I gave him a free drink and paid for the food he had grabbed, he was completely confused, kept asking me if he did something wrong and almost began echoing the phrase 'i don't have a weapon', I just told him again and again, 'you can have it, it's okay, everything is okay, please be safe'.

It's a terrible thing how we portray the general populace of the homeless.  In more recent years as the economy has failed thousands, the population of homeless people has boomed, they are no longer dominated by the mentally ill and the lazy, and instead are majorly of people down on their luck, who do NOT appreciate normal citizens panhandling to supplement their income when they do not, as it also gets them into far greater trouble when the police harass them and they have no home to return to.
Never mind the myriad of people being mugged and kidnapped, especially women.  I met a homeless girl once who was trying to become an urban nomad and travel the country on foot doing fortune readings based off of ALL things, chakras!  Her name was Vanessa and she was one of the sweetest girls I ever met, who joked with a full smile that she was just waiting for someone to...How did she put it...  To 'drug, rape, and sell her overseas'.  She was a gorgeous girl, and her fears I think were appropriate, as most homeless gorgeous girls as kind as her would be easy to manipulate I think.

I guess all I'm trying to say is please, please, do not write off the majority of homeless people as mentally ill and thus in some way not worth helping.  The mentally ill homeless need the most help of all

Oh, also, alcohol actually lowers your internal temperature more quickly.  It's feeling of warmth is an illusion of the senses, your internal body temperature is still dropping not just normally, but even faster when inebriated.  The actual cause for this I'm uncertain, I'm just echoing what a nurse once told me.  Further alcohol is addictive, and I've noticed that most people using it under the guise of self-medication are actually just addicted and struggling greatly with loneliness.  Similarly weed is addictive (though not anywhere near as potently, it's a very mild addiction that for heavy smokers can still be very uncomfortable coming off of) and so I just hope you're not indulging any of their addictions.  Further, weed does exacerbate mental illnesses, I've majorly quit smoking weed because turns out if I smoke too much of it, my emotions go crazy, most specifically, my anger is intensified to stupid proportions of self destruction.  Weed I was told is supposed to calm you down, I guess if you've a mental illness it only does so up to a point, where it then does a 180 and makes things A LOT worse.  Though I'm pretty sure it depends from person to person, as I've met people with mental illnesses like severe chronic depression who smoke daily several times a day, and benefit only, with no ill side effects like  sudden increase in a specific emotion to unhealthy levels.

However; I do agree, there is a good portion of homeless who only use alcohol as a form of relief.  I knew a veteran who had a pretty nasty injury on his side that had caused nerve damage or something and would hurt, sometimes worse than other times.  This guy literally begged me with tears in his eyes one day for five dollars to have enough money to get a bottle.  I did help that guy out, by getting him a bottle of V.S.O.P, and then I sat down with him and listened to him for a little bit until he was drunk enough to stand up and not cringe in pain, instead patting himself off and giving me a drunken hug, lol.

...Sigh, thinking about all of the people I've met while volunteering, this world can be very sad.  It's no wonder Ra calls themselves the Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow...

I suppose you're right about suffering, that it has in some way made the creation better, I wouldn't necessarily use the term 'bigger' as spatial concepts might not apply to...Well, concepts like suffering or infinity in general, as well as the assumption that infinity is the largest thing there can be, for something to be bigger would require something along the lines existentially of Infinity+1, but since everything is already a part of infinity (hence Infinity = 1) then really there is nothing else to be added.
Which I detailed to Aion as a disbelief of mine out of just a whim of a desire that there is more beyond the 'One Infinite Creator', if not simply this 'beyond infinity' being nothing more than the illusion of 'beyond infinity'.  Which I guess something worth noting is that illusions in reference to their connected nature to the infinite nature of reality, may very well themselves still be 'real' despite being an illusion, making quite literally infinitely ANYTHING possible.
Which is an exciting idea in my mind until I go into the darker parts of my imagination and, as I said to Aion, think about what other undesireable things might manifest in waiting for us all.
I might argue suffering is an 'improvement' as much as it is a natural consequence to making a system ripe with efficiency.  Should that efficiency somehow be found to be made without suffering, would suffering still be viewed as an improvement, or just another step necessary for improvement itself to happen?  I think suffering is neutral, I think it is a helpful tool, suffering from stomach cramps to purge myself of toxins accrued in the gut has it's uses, as does feeling the suffering of pain when one is badly injured (ironically some very severe injuries are not immediately accompanied by pain, putting into question the 'immediate' usefulness of pain, as it can in fact be fatally crippling in a bad scenario).  However; I still believe the brain requires a pain-off switch, cause like, yeah, I know my leg or arm or rib got busted up body, thanks for letting me know COOOWWWNSTANTLLY.  The same can be said of menstruation, the pain past a point is unnecessary.  Same can be said of child birth, why must it hurt so bad?

Suffering is a useful tool, but too much suffering is akin to using a jackhammer in place of a pickax where only the pickax is needed.  Sometimes it drills too deeply and does more harm than good, least I think so.

Which is why I do believe that things like pain and suffering which can be utilized by negative entities exist partially so that they can be used in such ways, in this manner showcasing the design of reality as adhering to both the positive and the negative poles of creation for both poles of creation by both poles of creation (or as I shorten it sometimes, the As-For-By loop of Time.  As creation creates itself For itself By itself, the basic ouroboros of creation is a simple programming logic question.  I highly recommend everyone look into learning the very basics of programming logic, the universe becomes a bit easier to understand in the process, ESPECIALLY the concepts of Time and Paradoxes.

As much as I appreciate the beauty of an existence of lifetimes, and even find it appropriate, I still feel deep down inside of me this nudging concern that not ALL individuated consciousnesses can properly handle the levels of intensity that come with places like Earth, and yet they are seemingly required by evolution to go through the rounds.  I really just want to make sure there aren't going to be anymore portions of creator that are so hurt they can't heal or be moved or helped at all.  I remember reading in another channeled material that souls that can't go forward end up progressing backwards or 'devolve' to make up for their inability to evolve.  I don't know if this is true, but it slightly resembles some things mentioned in Newton's works regarding souls having the ability to 'change their makeup' along a line similar to inserting 'new particle's per bit' (or something like that similar to the parts-per-million measurements used in water and air) to make themselves into a new entity while remaining partly the way they were, with this action being done mostly on souls that have committed serial murder on planet's but were not severe enough to be banned from the planet.
So I wonder if all entities can handle this place, or if there are truly those who can't cope and are essentially stuck with no clear means of moving forward.

Could you just imagine that?  Being an eternal entity unable to do what you are needed to do to have what you desire?  What kind of existence would that feel like? It's one thing to be a mortal and have that issue, one day it will cease, but as a member of eternity there potentially won't come a time when such ceases.

It's hard for me to speak about the Logos, as I struggle a bit with this concept as technically, you and I are sub-logoi, with portions inside of us potentially being sub-logoi as well.  I accept that the logos wants to be accepting, and in a way I if I were it wouldn't interfere with the natural order of the planet, even if right up to their destruction by their own hands, but I would question if such a loss if avoided would outweigh the natural progression made versus some kind of entity stepping in at the last second and like a parent to a child, pulls it's hand away from the big red button.

I shall challenge your Trek-fu <3
The Prime Directive has been deliberately broken several times in the show, especially by Captain Picard, who at one point deliberately broke it to stop a proto-vulcan culture that had accidentally been exposed to his culture in a very limited way resulting in his becoming a god-image before them potentially cascading into the entire planet's devolution back into the dark ages of religious persecutions and such.  He beamed up the daughter of the man who witnessed and spoke of him as a God, and attempted to explain to her that he was nothing more than another mortal just like her.  When she did not understand despite grasping the gist of his explanation, he had to resort to slightly more extreme examples, and ended up putting his life on the line before the community that worshiped him as a God, in an attempt to correct his wrongs.  With an arrow aimed right at his heart a mere release away from killing him, he proved by the shedding of his own blood that he was no more a god than any of them.

I think this is a valid example of 'an exception to everything'.  I think some exceptions should exist for good reason, because to do things as told always leads not always to the best outcome.  Picard knew that to do nothing would result in irreparable damage, and to do something would either put out more damage, or ameliorate the damage already done.

Now on the exact flipside of this, in Voyager, I think it was one of the first episodes of the first season, Captain Janeway comes across a planet that had recently suffered an extinction event disaster from their own technology, which ultimately lead back in a time-paradox fashion to having been caused by their even investigating a planet that they were bound by the prime directive not to interfere with.  Their mere presence in the future led to the destruction in the past, and illustrated precisely exactly the reason why that rule exists.  It is far too easy for an advanced civilization to interfere irreparable damage into a lesser developed civilization, even their mere presence can be disastrous which is why such extensive great effort is taken to not be discovered when observing less advanced cultures in the name of understanding better the evolution of civilization.
Which is why I find it interesting that Ra made this exact same discovery, and for this lesson to be echoed in Star Trek several thousand years later.

Ultimately, I think the overall design is appropriate, I just believe some tweaking would still make things even better.  Many human's do not appreciate the supposed appreciative catalyst of suffering, many of them even take their lives to avoid the onslaught, in their minds, of suffering they endure.  I just don't want others to feel such ways.  I know Ra says no entity is given more than it can handle but surely exceptions must exist.  I wonder how Hitler's consciousness feels about that phrase in regards to his time as the Fuhrer, I imagine that must have been far more than he was ready to deal with.
I actually learned how to play Poker by playing with our hands shown, perhaps in some instances when a civilization is ready, it might be appropriate, as in the case of Ra's society, to be made to play a metaphorical game of Poker with the hands shown, so as to aid them in ways acceptable.  Of course this applies to civilizations that aren't going to bomb the crap out of each other at the slightest remark of which God is the right God, sooooo, point taken in regards to Earth.  I just mentioned mine because, well, I thought it might serve useful for others in contemplating things I guess.

I definitely agree that the endocrine system and the hormonal responses are directly effected by the chakric system.  Actually before I ever even discovered any of this metaphysical stuff I used to think that it was the emotion which incited the neural transmitter (neurochemical?  Darn it Star Trek, messing me up lol) response, and not the other way around.  Then discovering the auras and chakras, it pretty much is actually done that way, with the physical response to an emotion being caused by the emotion itself essentially.

I will say I have read a book called Hands of Light, and there is a key contradiction in that text compared to the Ra Material.  In Hands of Light, the red ray auric body is called the Etheric Body, and the indigo ray auric body is called the Iridescent Body (iridescent rays of shining light in all directions) but according to the Ra Material, the Etheric auric body belongs to the Indigo ray, and is the form maker for the rest of the bodies, and that the red ray auric body is actually the chemical compositions that make up the orange ray body which both make up the yellow ray body.

I love chakras, the rainbow and everything to do with chakras, I have considered putting together a giant cumulative study guide on what I've learned of all the chakras.  They're so amazing and I love working with them so much, it's a shame that I can't douse with a pendulum or use a crystal quartz rock to heal my auras and chakras.  Whatever work I usually put into myself is rather quickly undone by my own severe thought distortions towards suicide, anger, and a desire to be alone and not deal with anything.  Even as I work on these issues directly they re-assert themselves all the time.

Truly I think you're mentioning that faith is needed is the only true path I have to take, because I am a very logic based circuitry person in accordance to my brain.  I'm more than sure I've crossed a few 'higher circuits' (upper triad pathways) with 'lower circuits' which has been resulting in what Ra said would happen, severe imbalances or distortions.  I would not suggest mixing blue ray with red ray neural circuitry.  The human ego can be very unforgiving of the spirit's attempts of utilizing it, I'd know, I spent an entire year loathing myself as a consciousness for making my humanity possible to experience, and only lately after discovering my mental illness have relaxed on that view and begun to accept that I was completely wrong, and need to relax, take a big few steps back, and sincerely try again, this time without rushing into all of this material.  The first time I began polarizing consciously, I went way overboard and propelled my kundalini up to indigo ray in a matter of months, which when that subsided and normalized, I found myself very heavily overwhelmed with the incoming catalyst, and as a result tried to ignore it, which made everything worse, which perpetuated and made that year of self loathing happen.
Moral of what I'm saying, Ra's totally right, don't polarize exponentially unless you have a good grasp of how to do so properly.

I do believe that the central nervous system and it's subsystems along the genitalia, stomach/gut, diaphragm, heart, and neck are indicative of an intermediary connection for the electrical energetic nature of the chakras to directly effect the physical body, just through the nervous system mostly, but as Ra said, unused and misdirected energy such as anger can manifest as outgrowths in the body, probably akin to a disturbance of the etheric auric body field resulting in abrogations of growths like Cancer.

I am curious as to the mechanism of how filtered catalyst from mind to body manifest in the body.  Does the brain's neural circuitry count as the body complex or the mind complex?
Is mental/emotional energies derived by the electromagnetic field of the heart tied in with the electrical nature and put-out (...dyslexia...) output* field of the brain's circuitry?

I am heavily interested in how these areas function and operate.  How the auric bodies form the physical illusion, how the heirarchy of energies and more and less dense bodies work together with the mechanisms of polarity and catalyst with the various complexes to form the overall occurrences that happen over time.

I want to point out that I actually began suffering from ED after I had my heart broken by one of my ex's.  The result turned out to be wholly mental in that my mental image of the female energies were, internally, distorted and thus damaged, resulting from the mind effecting the body to my inability to become aroused for a girl.  That was a fun homosexual period of my life, turns out I'm not homosexual hahaha!  Further, after a doctor visit the doc made it pretty clear I was physically fine and that morning erections were highly indicative of the problem stemming from the mind rather than the body, as a bodily ED wouldn't allow for morning erections to occur.
So hence my question regards if the red ray could be responsible for such, but in my instance it might be just a totality issue, from red, orange, yellow, and indigo all improperly meeting the female energies, wanting to instead go the route of the negative path of bondage and submission, when really I just want a fun happy and supportive wife more so than a submissive living sex toy.  I should also add, excessive porn watching apparently causes ED in men (shocking...), so like guys, stop taking it easy so much, sex isn't easy (least not physically), use your imagination once in a while, go do what cyanide and happiness did, enjoy some nature, it too is beautiful (loool).

The intensities of the red ray I view are similar to any other form of polarization, with the exception here being the chakra itself is being polarized versus the entire system (which would raise kundalini).  This results for positive entities as the red ray appearing brilliant and stunning, while for negative entities it appears as a storm of great intensity would, not so much shining in brilliance as it does with power, power necessary to proper the kundalini upward into indigo ray.
I cannot say the red ray has no polarity, it is clearly polarized with bias between male and female, with the male red ray responding to sexual transfers by propelling it's physical energies, while the female response is to receive the energy resulting in a feedback of intuitive energy in place of a gain in vital energy, the overall process would look like two energetic system transferring energy from their poles, the male south pole transfers to the female south pole which travels up to the female north pole and transfers from there back to the male north pole.  The result, the male loses vital lower triad energy for intuitive upper triad energy, of which his system is naturally weaker of, while the female who's system is naturally more fulfilled with intuitive energy loses some of this in it's gain of vital energies.

Overall, the red ray is like a plug/outlet.  That it can be im/balanced unlike the violet ray but is fixed like the violet ray might just be a natural occurrence due to the 8-fold overlapping design of systems.  The Red ray is technically the previous octaves 'white' ray (if you compare it to our system where above the violet ray is a white ray of sorts linking us to the next octave of energies that responds to our indigo/violet ray transmissions.)  So if's acting to draw up as our white ray does certain energies and experiences, while simultaneously pulling down intuitive energies to become informed in ways.  If this process is akin to polarizing a chakra or balancing a chakra, then a fixed red ray really just means that it's a placeholder as the violet ray is to help fixate on something that is not static or unmoving.  We are hurdling through space on a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in a universe, which itself may be hurdling through the annuls of existence for all we know.  A placeholder would be useful for any entity searching the cosmos.

As for why it is an indicator of seniority, Ra explained it pretty straightforward, the result of it's function is a result of the entity it belongs to, if the entity is of a certain intensity of experiences had, it will draw in similar experiences as informed by the intuitive informing design of downpouring energies into the red ray to better probe the necessary experiences the higher self will need to draw to it.  The 'seniority' label is somewhat confusing, as I imagine there are some entities who are fairly new to 3D who already vibrate in a way as to be described 'seniority' yet in no way is how the term describes one, having been around longer.

As for the violet ray, Ra literally says they cannot answer questions about it without infringing on free will beyond the few bits of information they've given on it, including how they communicate by moving through it down into the energetic system as if it were a funnel or gateway both out of and in to an entity, in a way similar to the red ray funneling downward to the feet.
This simply tells me it's functions are worth exploring as it has something to give back, and won't do so until we consciously make movements to do so.  Ra described the Violet ray as both a thermometer and totality of sorts, if this is the case then it's much more complex than the indigo ray, and thus has much to offer in return despite it's apparent lack of needing to be balanced, perhaps it still has other abilities...  Wow, my entire thought process just went blank.  Maybe I shouldn't try discussing the violet ray beyond to say there's more to it than has been given, and it's worthy of some exploration for the sake of supplementing the spiritual aspects of one's life.

I actually have a paradoxical struggle with faith.  On one hand, I believe the systems of the Law of One without a doubt, but on the other hand, I am uncertain if they are all purely for the one infinite's benefit.  I do struggle with faith along the lines that I need to not fret so much about things and let them emotionally effect me so strongly.  I need to try to be more like calm water, and less like water riff with the ripples of activity swirling under the surface.

My meditations sound nothing like yours, I always experience something in them, although many times I cannot properly meditate due to an emotional state that will NOT subside!  Even upon sitting with it in the silence of the mind waiting for the entropy of the randomly moving energies to dissipate, they do not!  It leaves me to believe I'm either some kind of energetic perpetual motion design, or my emotions come from a past life that is VERY MUCH requiring attention.  Those are the only two things I can think of to explain why my emotions get like that, you know, besides just blaming it on a mental illness...

In my meditations I've experienced some interesting sensations, one of the more common ones is after I get beyond the alpha wavelength and begin entering theta, and my deep muscles begin to relax, I experience the sensation of inhaling and exhaling as being pleasureable, inciting joy.  I find the random thoughts that come about have attached to them almost like a clump of bubbles several thoughtforms of emotion and pure-thought that I can either let slide over me or hook onto and observe at the risk of getting sucked into them.

What freaks me out is when I begin seeing flashes of color or light, or flashing images, or hearing sounds and voices.  The voices especially ALWAYS throw me out of meditation because it's so sudden and unexpected, it's like someone speaking in your ear when there's no one there, it'd freak out anyone!
The flashing lights and phosphenes I've been trying to divulge a system of subconscious communication from, but it's been a pretty fruitless endeavor as I can't make sense of if a phosphene and it's placement in my field of view and color are indicative of something, or if I'm just experiencing background radiation from fukushima lol.
I can say radiation particle phosphenes appear violent in that they don't instantly disappear like normal phosphenes with their vibrant colors do.
Further some colors flash along sides of my field of view, like the last time I meditated I saw a bring 'band' of indigo light that faded out as it's length went closer to the center of my vision, while at the top of my vision it was fully indigo in a way similar to a mixture of blue and indigo chakra colors.

But I'll never forget the first time I heard a voice in a meditation.  To this day I have no idea what it's small phrase to me means, and I often wonder if the female voice that said it to me was a human spirit, or something else.

A :33 person!  You're quite a wise one, eh! lolol
I see :44 far too often as well as 144, I think it's indicative of my overabundance of love, because when I do see :33 often it's when wisdom comes to me easier, when :22 starts appearing it means something is going to change, and :11 always ALWAYS has to do with the internal nature of reality in same way or shape changing or being internally transformed as if mental transmutation were occurring.  :55 seems to have to do with physical reality in some way but I still haven't made any connections...

But 144 greatly effects me for some reason.  Numerologically it's equivalent to 9 (though so is 666 lol) and it's said to represent the ascended masters of something like that, I don't know about any of that, I wouldn't call myself an ascended master (though would any actually reference themselves as such??), but I do feel like my time here is incredibly important, and that the suicidal struggles I have are all indicative of some kind of struggle or 'tug of war' as you said, to force an outcome of either positive or negative within the distant-near future (like centuries wise, not decades).  So I don't know.

Er, weird.  I swear I saw you ask me if I thought I was a dual activated body.  Oh!  I totally missed answering it >.<

Do you believe you might be a dual-activated body? (beings who are early fourth density who have incarnated at harvest for extra extra catalyst)

If my understanding of a dual activated body is correct, those that are of this nature typically experience an increased capability in manifesting paranormal abilities.  I have no such indicators.  I can say coming into life I was exceptionally loving until the grasp of society began distorting me, but upon first reading and thinking on the question, the first response of my mind was 'No.'
And since I do not know I will just say, 'probably not'.

I personally believe I am a Wanderer of either 5D or 6D, but due to my feelings and proclivities and inexplicable issues-- wait, my inexplicable issues aren't inexplicable, I discovered some of the ones I used to base my thinking I was 6D actually were dormant genetics on my mother's side.

Okay, with this sudden revaluation, I'm going to make a wild guess and say I am probably maybe around mid 5D?  If not that then I'm definitely mid 6D either around the time the higher self is accrued or just past the point where we/I meet our 7D higher self left behind to guide us.

But yeah, probably just gonna stay with the Mid 5D guess.

This post took way too long to write.  Jade you're free to respond as you will.  I have a feeling if we don't somehow distinguish a few subjects apart out posts will become novels