How do I heal this. I lost balance but I feel balanced

[Glow]

I don't think it's all that bad, from what you said it seems to me you wanted the hypocrisy of the moment to be acknowledged because you could no longer partake in it. Which does seem quite understandable and probably made it easier to leave from a place you felt you didn't really belong at.

Don't be hard on yourself, you probably did what was required of you as a catalyst.

Huge sigh of relief! Thank you so much!
You nailed it. I feel so much better after reading that, because you are right.

Afterwords I think I was more upset that I had reacted because I couldn't see how to further heal this. It feel healed. Your right it wasn't the experience I couldn't balance in the moment but the hypocrisy.

Thank you so much, I will stop being embarrassed by this.
It certainly was catalyst lol I have not felt like that in a long time and I guess I can be pleased it wasn't even a full moment later I was calmly apologizing and stating I truely am happy for them. I just had to leave.