09-16-2015, 02:25 AM
-Staring at posts-
Some in this thread should go perform a google search on Suicide, read up everything pertaining to WHY one wishes to die, and then look up websites for suicidal people that aren't made to deter them.
Cain. I've been on that door step to death once. Ernestly and sincerely waiting to return...Home. was what I started calling it. I have never been that close since but have been close to that. I sometimes regret not just doing it and getting it over with. But at that time I do believe a guide, or my grandma helped deter me at the time just before I dozed off for the last time to CO poisoning.
I think if you truly desire death, the OIC loves you enough, so MUCH, that you won't be prevented, perhaps even your Higher Self will conspire to offer you chances to suicide as catalyst. It is you looking back upon its past after all.
But I don't think it's fair to you personally. You can change circumstances. You can make new futures. You can always change your life even if it's difficult....suicide is difficult, and results in more difficulty as you'll have to return in a sense in.some shape or fashion to fulfill your desires in 3D. Maybe you'll come back not schizophrenic, or maybe you'll come back different, autistic or with some other 'handicap'.
You saw something in the sun. You can make sense of love. You'd be a powerful spiritual resource in time to some if you ever released the socially binding beliefs of who you need to be and how to be.
But I want to give you answers and end the suffering you feel now because I've been there, and I still feel those things every day and I still fight my desire to go home and screw off everyone who cares about me. And all I ever wanted was someone who understood and cared and wanted to make me feel better. But that never happened... I had to be my own caring otherself... and I am. Its hard. Harder than most things because even I do not understand my own paradoxical desires. I just want to love, why...Why is it that in a world teaching love, it can be so hard, just to love?
...yet I continue on.
Cain, do you have anybody close to you or dear to you that you can talk to? What's your life situation? Do you have a place to live or family or friends to talk to?
I love you for trying to reach out before doing anything. Thank you for this opportunity to try and provide love.
Some in this thread should go perform a google search on Suicide, read up everything pertaining to WHY one wishes to die, and then look up websites for suicidal people that aren't made to deter them.
Cain. I've been on that door step to death once. Ernestly and sincerely waiting to return...Home. was what I started calling it. I have never been that close since but have been close to that. I sometimes regret not just doing it and getting it over with. But at that time I do believe a guide, or my grandma helped deter me at the time just before I dozed off for the last time to CO poisoning.
I think if you truly desire death, the OIC loves you enough, so MUCH, that you won't be prevented, perhaps even your Higher Self will conspire to offer you chances to suicide as catalyst. It is you looking back upon its past after all.
But I don't think it's fair to you personally. You can change circumstances. You can make new futures. You can always change your life even if it's difficult....suicide is difficult, and results in more difficulty as you'll have to return in a sense in.some shape or fashion to fulfill your desires in 3D. Maybe you'll come back not schizophrenic, or maybe you'll come back different, autistic or with some other 'handicap'.
You saw something in the sun. You can make sense of love. You'd be a powerful spiritual resource in time to some if you ever released the socially binding beliefs of who you need to be and how to be.
But I want to give you answers and end the suffering you feel now because I've been there, and I still feel those things every day and I still fight my desire to go home and screw off everyone who cares about me. And all I ever wanted was someone who understood and cared and wanted to make me feel better. But that never happened... I had to be my own caring otherself... and I am. Its hard. Harder than most things because even I do not understand my own paradoxical desires. I just want to love, why...Why is it that in a world teaching love, it can be so hard, just to love?
...yet I continue on.
Cain, do you have anybody close to you or dear to you that you can talk to? What's your life situation? Do you have a place to live or family or friends to talk to?
I love you for trying to reach out before doing anything. Thank you for this opportunity to try and provide love.
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)