Occult, Qabalah, Golden Dawn disillusionment

[Lighthead]

That's an interesting analogy. I hadn't thought about it in quite that way.

When I meditate, in the first five minutes or so, nothing is being accomplished. The only thing that is being accomplished is that I'm going more inwards. But as to answer your question more directly, I don't have a particular focus when I begin my meditation. I just let the thoughts flow in and out. I don't focus on any one thought or try to eliminate any thoughts. That's exactly what shikantaza is. I don't focus on my breath or anything. I just let the thoughts come in and out. I don't feel any sense of bliss in these first five minutes or so. Like I said, it's just a proxy to allow my mind to go deeper. For me this is much more effective than focusing on your breath. I can't speak for anybody else, but this technique is absolute magic for me. Maybe it's just the way my brain is wired.

Why do you ask?

I think you do have a focus, it's just abstract. I more mean before you actually start meditating, or do you just sit down anywhere and do it? Are there any regular times you prefer to do it?

I sometimes have a focus before I meditate. I'll just try to center myself and remind myself not to cling to my thoughts or whatever I learned in the previous "session." I meditate while lying down on my bed in my room. My back starts to hurt too much if I'm in a sitting posture, and I just can't get comfortable in general enough to not be distracted. I do have a regular time. I have a regular time because it helps me be consistent with my meditation. I meditate for an hour beginning at 9:00 pm, roughly. The reason I do it so late is because I feel that no one's going to bother me at that time. But I do have to be disciplined as far as that time goes. I take a medicine that makes me sleepy at around that time. So if I take the medicine at around 8:00 pm, that makes me sleepy during my meditation. So I try to take my medicine at around 8:30 or later. And when I drink my medicine I only take two sips of liquid at the most and leave the rest for after I meditate, or else I want to use the bathroom while I meditate.

I find it interesting and strange that you're asking me this. This is something that I've wanted to share, but I haven't had a chance to tell anyone.