Occult, Qabalah, Golden Dawn disillusionment

[Aion]

I admit, in general I feel that while people find me perhaps interesting or curious, I don't feel there is much interest in my actual approach to things. I think that were I to share my actual views of reality you would likely view me as very archaic.

Well, I for one am very interested in what you do as far as ritual goes. I just think that some people, like me, are scared of asking you anything because you get so crabby. I, for one, feel like if I ask you anything you'll shut me down just for laughs. I can't speak for anyone else, but that's how I feel. And I'm not saying that you would do any of those things, but that's just the vibe I get.

I understand that, since I am aware of the state of my energy at this point in time. That being said, I certainly do not have this attitude for amusement, it is more of a brooding state. I admit I feel defensive kind of on principle because it is rare that I ever find anyone who sees eye to eye with me. In fact I'm not sure I've ever really met anyone who quite sees things the way I do, although that's probably true for most people.

The fact of the matter is that I am protective of my practices because I believe they can be easily misinterpreted or twisted. I can't guarantee that any of my own methods will be useful or even safe for others so I am reluctant to share details. In the end though I guess I just really feel that people already tend to find their own paths and do so without any of my help so sometimes I'm just not sure there is any point to my attempting to 'teach'. It seems everyone ultimately creates their own ideas anyways, so mine are just another fish in the sea.