working with yellow ray

[Plenum]

Family relationships are significant as they are primary context in which we learn about power in relationships with others or with society/social institutions. There may be intergenerational patterns that emerge around issues of power due historical oppression, colonization, immigration, acculturation (adopting mainstream cultures), violence/domestic violence, poverty/wealth, prejudice, racism, slavery, unresolved grief/loss, social status etc. Significant relationships such as romantic relationships and friendships could also shape the way in which we understand power. There's so much to explore in terms of our views around power.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ exactly this.

in repeated conversations with a friend last year, the issue of parents and family came up; more specifically, the point that we inherit more than mere genertics from our parents, we inherit their emotional and social distortions; because just like we learn language and acquire their 'accent' almost automatically (though also being influenced by the wider culture of friends and schoolpeople), we learn the default patterns of interaction by being around our family; it dictates expectations (I do 'this', and 'that' happens, and because it works here, it 'must' apply everywhere, for all people),

it shows up in kids from rich families having a strong tendency (mind you, a 'tendency') for developing an attitude of entitlement and things going their way, and a general tendency (very 'general') of those from lower income families feeling like life is a struggle, and life is inherently precarious and unsafe (attitudes towards money etc, scarcity).

these attitudes persist despite changing circumstances to the contary. Poor folks can stay with a 'hoarding attitude' even when they have broken the shackles of monetary limitation.

the graphic that I told to my friend was that these social/power attitudes that come down through the family line are like the kid standing at the end of a long chain of parents, grandparents, great-grandparents ... and the kid being handed a 'bag of sh*t' as their inheritance lol. Because that's what being exposed to their distortions as a young mind is like; it writes deep impressions into the mind and sets many default expectations and behaviours.

of course, if you take 3 kids from the same family they all don't turn out the same way; personality plays a part in which 'parental distortions' find a loving home or not; and like I said, school and the experience of friends also makes a big stamp on a kid under the age of 10. But that said, you can see kids from the same family carrying the same emotional baggage of their parents unless they choose to consciously address those distortions in some way. More often than not, they are not even recognised as distortions, and people just assume they are inherent qualities of their personality (like I did). They always 'felt that way' or 'reacted that way' ... those distortions were copied from so long ago.

as children and kids, we get lumped with the responsbility of healing those distortions that our parents, despite their best efforts, could not heal.

it is a kind of irony that when we come into this world, our folks tend for us in our relatively helpless state. And when we become older and independent, we in turn have some responsbility to tend to these distortions of our parents; as they have been legacied into our consciousness.

and if we don't, there is a likelihood these inherited distortions (attitudes towards power/society) find their way into our own children.

always, always, heal thyself. It is one of the most vital and helpful things you can do for yourself; and by extension for those around you.