Conflicted

[GreatWhiteWebb]

Im finding myself more and more prominently at an impasse with what I know to be existential truth, and what I would consider to be the 'will of the world'. What I mean by that is, I have an overwhelming desire to leave behind what I have realized to be a ruse and pursue solely that which resonates with my existence. Ive found that the more I go along with the established system or 'will of the world' so to speak, the more this desire to free myself from it grows. However, I feel if I endure it then it will set me up to accomplish my metaphysical goals and objectives down the road more so than if I abandoned my position in society now. Still, I can not get over the feeling that if I pursued the desires of my soul immediatly I would reach these same goals quicker but with no security whatsoever and certainly some sizable portion of struggling. Is there any purpose behind this desire other than my own impatience? Meditation alleviates pressure but often leaves me sad when I return to my current state of existence what else can calm this cognitive drive to act in some unknown way? Should I abandon comfort and stability for passion and pain?

[Kaaron]

Im finding myself more and more prominently at an impasse with what I know to be existential truth, and what I would consider to be the 'will of the world'. What I mean by that is, I have an overwhelming desire to leave behind what I have realized to be a ruse and pursue solely that which resonates with my existence. Ive found that the more I go along with the established system or 'will of the world' so to speak, the more this desire to free myself from it grows. However, I feel if I endure it then it will set me up to accomplish my metaphysical goals and objectives down the road more so than if I abandoned my position in society now. Still, I can not get over the feeling that if I pursued the desires of my soul immediatly I would reach these same goals quicker but with no security whatsoever and certainly some sizable portion of struggling. Is there any purpose behind this desire other than my own impatience? Meditation alleviates pressure but often leaves me sad when I return to my current state of existence what else can calm this cognitive drive to act in some unknown way? Should I abandon comfort and stability for passion and pain?

The aim is to bring that loving meditative state into your waking life. Then it doesn't matter what you're doing, you feel the same loving security.
Practice...forgive yourself when you fall from the perspective and just ask for help from your guides/higher self/One infinite creator to bring you back into a more balanced state.

I feel that there is nothing more worthy of our attention.

[SeekOne]

Im finding myself more and more prominently at an impasse with what I know to be existential truth, and what I would consider to be the 'will of the world'. What I mean by that is, I have an overwhelming desire to leave behind what I have realized to be a ruse and pursue solely that which resonates with my existence. Ive found that the more I go along with the established system or 'will of the world' so to speak, the more this desire to free myself from it grows. However, I feel if I endure it then it will set me up to accomplish my metaphysical goals and objectives down the road more so than if I abandoned my position in society now. Still, I can not get over the feeling that if I pursued the desires of my soul immediatly I would reach these same goals quicker but with no security whatsoever and certainly some sizable portion of struggling. Is there any purpose behind this desire other than my own impatience? Meditation alleviates pressure but often leaves me sad when I return to my current state of existence what else can calm this cognitive drive to act in some unknown way? Should I abandon comfort and stability for passion and pain?

Greetings, GreatWhiteWebb. Welcome to the forum.

It is not easy to remove the bricks with which we've used to create our foundation which we currently reside upon.

On one hand, we believe we want a new foundation, and WE DO.

On another hand, it's extremely difficult to actually put in the new bricks.

We know the old bricks very well. They have served us very well.

I don't have an answer for you but do relate. It's a process. Help is always within ones reach.

[earth_spirit]

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[Agua del Cielo]

Dear GreatWhiteWebb,
welcome to the forum!

Could you be a little more specific?
I usually am the "leave it behind" type of guy, but it would depending greatly on the specific area!

[GreatWhiteWebb]

Dear GreatWhiteWebb,
welcome to the forum!

Could you be a little more specific?
I usually am the "leave it behind" type of guy, but it would depending greatly on the specific area!

To be more specific I am in my last two years of college studying entrepreneurship but will likely not be able to afford to graduate next year since ill lose financial aid. I have specific, poorly developed, plans for what I want to do after college (or if I left) and feel I am fully capable of bringing them to fruition with a bit of leg work. The dilemma is that I would have to abandon my loved ones and embrace their disapproval while also slingshoting myself into instability and uncertainty. On the other hand, I feel it is crucial now more than ever to pursue these things to gaurentee they will have the right impact on the world, at the right time. However, if I wait it out in my current, not preferable situation, I see myself eventually completing these very goals comfortably but after a strenuous amount of deviation from what I know to be my true path. I hate the feeling of stagnation more than anything but dont much care for the mundane loop ive been trapped in either.

[Diana]

To be more specific I am in my last two years of college studying entrepreneurship but will likely not be able to afford to graduate next year since ill lose financial aid. I have specific, poorly developed, plans for what I want to do after college (or if I left) and feel I am fully capable of bringing them to fruition with a bit of leg work. The dilemma is that I would have to abandon my loved ones and embrace their disapproval while also slingshoting myself into instability and uncertainty. On the other hand, I feel it is crucial now more than ever to pursue these things to gaurentee they will have the right impact on the world, at the right time. However, if I wait it out in my current, not preferable situation, I see myself eventually completing these very goals comfortably but after a strenuous amount of deviation from what I know to be my true path. I hate the feeling of stagnation more than anything but dont much care for the mundane loop ive been trapped in either.

I am an entrepreneur, and if you are, you will absolutely be unable not to be one. So my point is, whether you stay in your present situation or forge ahead into new territory, you will still work toward your vision.

I would not worry about disapproval. I've been working for myself almost all of my adult life and friends/family basically never understand the amount of time I work or how I go about things. I would try and let that go. If they disapprove, it's their issue not yours. That does not mean you have to be unkind, but live your life for yourself because that is what you are here to do, not to live your life for someone else. You are a unique and unrepeatable expression of the all, and it's up to you to be that expression, and let it flower, not hold yourself back because others may want you to do this or that based on their own distortions.

It's okay to take chances. Pay attention to whether something makes you feel excited and energized, because following that feeling is a key. Be smart about your choices. Then jump in when it feels right and give it absolutely all you've got.