Letting go of the Law of One, Sorry.

[Stranger]

One more tip: especially when speaking with entities other than your HS, there may be interference from STS that is proportionate with the amount of distortion one carries.  If you doubt anything you're receiving, ask the source of the message to say "that is the truth."  STS types depolarize when they say it, and they will almost always remain silent, whereas if your source is STO it will have to trouble saying these words.  A very useful trick taught to me by my guides.

If they're lying about it being the truth, how is it depolarizing?

Elros, how is interesting but not important; the fact that it works and helps distinguish lies from truth, is.

[Stranger]

Also, TTP, the 3D mind is not capable of apprehending spiritual truth. It is a product of the ego, of separation. It is limited to processing separation ideas, and combining them in various ways to reach conclusions that remain fully limited by separation.

Meditation and opening of the heart to the Creation allows spiritual truths to flow into our awareness.

Trying to reason about spiritual truths before that channel is open is like trying to do calculus with an abacus. Your answers will be highly misleading. Really, it's garbage-in, garbage-out: in this case, the mind is using 3D distortion as the basis for its reasoning, and therefore the results will necessarily be more distortions.

For more on what it means to move from ego-based consciousness into heart-based consciousness, I very highly recommend the Jeshua material on jeshua.net.

[Minyatur]

One more tip: especially when speaking with entities other than your HS, there may be interference from STS that is proportionate with the amount of distortion one carries.  If you doubt anything you're receiving, ask the source of the message to say "that is the truth."  STS types depolarize when they say it, and they will almost always remain silent, whereas if your source is STO it will have to trouble saying these words.  A very useful trick taught to me by my guides.

If they're lying about it being the truth, how is it depolarizing?

Elros, how is interesting but not important; the fact that it works and helps distinguish lies from truth, is.

I said that because the first thought I had is that this is the kind of lie I'd come up with as a STS entity to create confusion. 

[Stranger]

Yes, it's important to note that this is not a 100% guarantee of authentic communication - more like 95-97%, but based on years of experience, it works very well.

As I understand it, it's a gamble for the STS. If they believe that by steering you astray they can cause enough distress to offset the damage to their polarity, they will do it. But it is rare, from which I deduce that it's a sizable hit for them.

As always, using discernment is advisable. But, in my experience, discernment is helpful after the message is received (otherwise, too much conscious mind interference and doubt takes place and blocks communication). On the other hand, asking for "that is the truth" can be readily done during the channeling process.

[Jade]

Yeah, they lose polarity by the lie but if they are successful in persuading something to take a "negative" action, or prevents them from taking a positive action. But that's also why the challenge works - they can't lie *that* much, and we have free will to reject any communication. But it's important to carry beliefs that can't be exploited, such as, I'm bad at this, I'm not good enough at this, people don't like me, etc - these are blockages that negative "entities" can energize.

I use the term "entity" loosely because I think it's valuable and useful to frame them as outside entities that can be denied. It's not good to focus on the idea of a 5th density neg attacking you or anything like that, but if we think of all of our positive guides who surround us and offer us hope/love, there are the opportunities for the other side. We don't even realize it. Sometimes, as motivation, I frame it for myself as to not let myself get down, or a green chakra blockage to occur, because "they" win. Every time I fall into yellow ray, an STS minion rejoices. If one can wedge their way in deeply, enough to really cause distress, it takes a lot of work to get rid of. "Negative entity" = "negative thought patterns" = "energetic blockages". I think these can be used fairly interchangeably. Always in the context that there really are no negative entities outside of ourselves, that one truly is all and the lesson is to love and accept even the most unlovable and unacceptable situations.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Also, TTP, the 3D mind is not capable of apprehending spiritual truth.  It is a product of the ego, of separation.  It is limited to processing separation ideas, and combining them in various ways to reach conclusions that remain fully limited by separation.

Meditation and opening of the heart to the Creation allows spiritual truths to flow into our awareness.  

Trying to reason about spiritual truths before that channel is open is like trying to do calculus with an abacus.  Your answers will be highly misleading.  Really, it's garbage-in, garbage-out: in this case, the mind is using 3D distortion as the basis for its reasoning, and therefore the results will necessarily be more distortions.

For more on what it means to move from ego-based consciousness into heart-based consciousness, I very highly recommend the Jeshua material on jeshua.net.

I used to block every single voice I used to hear which I assume I was channeling by asking them who they were.  Not once did they ever provide an answer, just silence.  Except once, when one answered by saying she was Love.  And by She I mean my own voice, I honestly do not know how to explain how I could tell the difference except that I just felt it.  But, I haven't heard that Guide in a long time, I miss her.

Communicating wise, my problem isn't not believing what words are coming through, it's wondering if it's me or not.  I have no discernment.

And channeling wise, I just, I still don't understand what exactly it is, I get what it is but I don't understand the mechanics as they've been explained.  As I just...Overall constantly channeling in my mind and when I properly attune myself I can pick up on proper frequencies that certain types of beings can emit to communicate with me??

I need to finish the Jeshua information, the Male/Female energies part really helped me make sense of my red ray issues I was facing at the time.  My problem is, and I want to really make this clear.  I think I've injured my green ray, it would explain why I am not feeling any love, despite others feeling it, I can't.  Jade said my post was filled with love, the entire time typing it I felt, somewhat shameful and very cautious, bordering scared of hitting post.  I can still pick up on everyone else, and it's almost like my green ray is operating but not the way it could be, it's like I'm on minimum flow, like it's trickling but enough so with all the help my guides and everyone has been constantly giving me...

Or maybe it's that having lost control, I'm like a leaky faucet, with the loss of control I automatically close up, but being so abundant I'm always leaking...?  Maybe???  (Or maybe Ichigo from Bleach is a bad example, even if you compare his Reitsu energy to 'love' and his lack of control of it to my green ray, and the way his body just leaks it because he's so abundant of it and can't contain it but has no real control over it.)

OR...  I don't know.  I'ma make a post on the corkboard asking for some help.  Being in an open heart, I've had problems balancing some many things lately, because I lack the positive opposite to invoke and balance it with (so I discovered in meditation when I kept getting angry and when letting it taper off, Couldn't produce the equivalent opposite emotion.).

So, a blockage in unconditional love.  I need to make sense of it, but I can't work on green ray until red-yellow are worked on, but my old method of doing so literally was going through the lower sanctum, the lower green ray essentially and making sense of all my blockages in my red-yellow rays by going through them all with my shadow self that way.

Now that whatever has happened, I seem to have to be more linear, like I can't even get to my green ray without unblocking some of my lower rays, so my usual process is interrupted, and having never had to get to the point to just get to green ray, I'm a bit confused how one unblocks anything while not using green ray energies in tandem.

That's literally what I thought the Lower Courtyard of the Heart was for, processing red, orange, and yellow ray blockages to come to minimal balance to open up green ray.

Jade, how does one come to accept unacceptable situations?  I understand it's personal for everyone but there's got to be some kind of common ground for us all, being Human's and all, you know?

I've never thought to ask if I'm telling myself the truth.  I wonder what would happen if I asked myself that when I didn't realize it was myself talking to myself in my head, and I faltered at answering.  That'd be an uneasy moment in my mind.  I actually think that's how I started spiraling downward when I kept asking who the voices in my mind were, and kept getting silence, right up to when it was me asking my own self.
Then the bad form of thought disassociation, losing trust in my own thoughts, an indigo ray blockage.

I wish I had someone to meditate with.  Doing everything alone is oddly encumbering, having someone else to help me stay focused would go a long ways.

Better start working on my imaginary friend!

[Jade]

Jade, how does one come to accept unacceptable situations? I understand it's personal for everyone but there's got to be some kind of common ground for us all, being Human's and all, you know?

I hope I can help. Acceptance is actually natural, and just letting things happen without feeling like you need to control them. Or that the world is on your shoulders. This is a collective reality, after all, overseen by many others who help us develop. It's painful for a reason and we know and understand this before we incarnate.

Do you have anyone you've ever loved unconditionally? Like a parent, a friend, a partner, a pet? Someone who, in your eyes, could do no wrong? Use this as a jumping off point. When you see someone doing something bad, imagine if it were you loved one doing it, and notice how your feelings of "acceptance" shift. If it was a pet, think - if this buddy of mine incarnating from this into 3D, and he was having a tough time through some of his lifetimes, and so he started to act out and perpetrate some bad things, how mad would I be? Would I be slightly more understanding than I am of a stranger?

You can also try this. It's a quick, easy meditation. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and accept everything as it is, in the moment, as perfect. Just let the feeling flow into you, no resistance - I mean, if you can get to a place where you can do this sort of thing, it's a relatively peaceful situation. All is well. All is perfect. You accept it. Breathe in the acceptance and perfection, and then let it back out in an extended breathe. Repeat for a total of 10 times. If you can do it, things like this can create a perception shift, even if temporary. Endorphins flow into the brain. It's what happens when we breathe deeply and meditate, at a chemical level.

That said, if you need something for your monkey-brain to be occupied with, start learning about the latest scientific research about how meditation changes (increases) your brain function. Maybe it'll motivate you more.

[Minyatur]

What does letting go of the LOO means? That you will not view what you reject in others as part of yourself?

The exact opposite, that all I see including that in others is what could potentially be in me, and I don't want to be a murderer, or a torturer, or evil, or cruel, or anything like that.  So since I accept that, I want to with that acceptance instead of just letting it be, reject it and choose how to be instead of just letting those feelings from acceptance drive me to what I could potentially be.

To me that murderers exist is proof that under the right circumstances I am a murderer, it is not a fate that can be escaped as it is.. observed. But that does not in any way make me need the experience as part of my current lessons. While not needing it, I can at the same time understand that it can be a needed experience for others, just as I have my own needed experiences to live.

If you have that fear within yourself, then working with it and accepting it as part of self is the STO ways to balance yourself. To control and repress it would be the STS way to balance it. Rejecting it is not balancing anything and the Universe will make you face what you need to face sooner or later.

[Minyatur]

Acceptance of self is just a way to accept the same things in others, and acceptance of others is just a way to accept things in self. As all is One.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Min, it's a weird way of explaining it, I'm not literally rejecting it's existence, I'm just proclaiming outwardly that I do not want to be that, almost as if secretly begging my higher self to pleaaassse not send that catalyst my way.  I call it 'rejecting it' because in a way it is me saying I do not want this experience please do not send it my way, I reject it in mind.  I accept such and such, even if I disagree with the manner of learning, and in that acceptance and understanding I KNOW I DO NOT WANT THAT.

So, dear Higher Self, DO-NOT-WANT, DO-NOT-SEND, THANK-YOU

Jade, how does one come to accept unacceptable situations?  I understand it's personal for everyone but there's got to be some kind of common ground for us all, being Human's and all, you know?

I hope I can help. Acceptance is actually natural, and just letting things happen without feeling like you need to control them. Or that the world is on your shoulders. This is a collective reality, after all, overseen by many others who help us develop. It's painful for a reason and we know and understand this before we incarnate.

Do you have anyone you've ever loved unconditionally? Like a parent, a friend, a partner, a pet? Someone who, in your eyes, could do no wrong? Use this as a jumping off point. When you see someone doing something bad, imagine if it were you loved one doing it, and notice how your feelings of "acceptance" shift. If it was a pet, think - if this buddy of mine incarnating from this into 3D, and he was having a tough time through some of his lifetimes, and so he started to act out and perpetrate some bad things, how mad would I be? Would I be slightly more understanding than I am of a stranger?

You can also try this. It's a quick, easy meditation. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and accept everything as it is, in the moment, as perfect. Just let the feeling flow into you, no resistance - I mean, if you can get to a place where you can do this sort of thing, it's a relatively peaceful situation. All is well. All is perfect. You accept it. Breathe in the acceptance and perfection, and then let it back out in an extended breathe. Repeat for a total of 10 times. If you can do it, things like this can create a perception shift, even if temporary. Endorphins flow into the brain. It's what happens when we breathe deeply and meditate, at a chemical level.

That said, if you need something for your monkey-brain to be occupied with, start learning about the latest scientific research about how meditation changes (increases) your brain function. Maybe it'll motivate you more.

I read a study of 100 ways meditation helps you, a condensed list of medical studies on meditation.  It's a good start, my problem is silencing my frustration when I can't silence a song repeating and sounding up over and over in my mind, or accept an emotion that pops up randomly and balance it or let it go or let it go through me.

I used to do exactly what you said, but I'd use my newborn son at the time...  Now that it's been so long since I've seen him or gotten to know anything about him.  I don't actually have anyone like that anymore.  I don't feel those ways towards anyone anymore, I used to feel those ways towards most people in a shallow sense of 'attempting to love them' to be loving but in a deep and personal sense, I don't know what that feels like anymore after several years of being basically alone emotionally, since I began working graveyard shifts I have become pretty isolated, which has led to continuing to do so by choice because...

I'm just different from everyone, it's not a matter of acceptance, it IS general consensus reality, I'm weird.  I'm the loner type, I'm silent and introverted to a powerful degree, I can go weeks without talking to any of my friends and I'd have no problem with it.  I think I accidentally really pissed off my girlfriend by being this way even.  I just have nothing to talk about to people that I feel they'd actually talk with me on.  I want to talk about life, existence, metaphysics, the why's, the how's, I don't want to talk about football or baseball, I don't want to talk about your truck you've decked out or how you smoke weed er'day.  I don't want to talk on the trivial everyday things.  I want to reflect on each other's past or future.

I say I want love, it's three sided.  I want a lover (to be loved personally).  I want to love (to love personally or not), I want to provide love (to provide the joy of love).  It's easier when you can feel it, perceive it, conduct and invoke and provide it.  So much more so when you have someone to keep you fresh in that seat of love.

That used to be my son, then for a while it was everyone when the loving memory's of my son were soured by a big fight with my ex over my son.  Then most memories where I had accepted everything I had thought of up to that moment and accepted it all as bringing me to the blissful moment I was in were no longer useful, I tried to just go off of the Love all around me, that worked for so long up until April.

Isolation and Solitude tread a fine line, solitude is healthy, isolation is not.  I am basically isolated.  I have basically this forum, facebook, and two friends I see maybe once a week.  For living with my Mom I see her for maybe an hour or two every day and she complains about work and I just fear for the endless list of tasks she wants me to do that I have no idea how to do or desire to do.  We don't really talk, I don't even know my mom or how to talk to her.  I've tried to before, the inability to say anything to her is because I honestly am more fearful of what she has to say than anything, she's blamed her misery on me countless times and to this day blames me for her impending death.

It's hard to continually find love with such thoughts and situations in the background.

It's why I don't know what to do.  What does someone like me do?  I want to be alone more often than not, I'm sensitize to people incredibly so.  It took being alone to realize that.  Now that I'm aware of it, I'm much more in tune to how others affect me, and the result is unpleasant generally.  I don't know how to deal with that beyond having a constantly accepting and open personality which is exhausting to someone like me who is more used to being himself completely alone, who is in complete reflective honesty a weird fluking person.

I talk to myself in mirrors and have deep in depth personal discussions and rants and contemplation's with myself like I'm four different people providing various different angles of input.  Because I'm so alone and have so few people to discuss what I've discovered I like that I basically have to fulfill my social needs by myself, a somewhat impossible feat that requires one to get used to ones self in ways that turn out aren't exactly healthy for maintaining a personal identity.

Which I is me?  Why is isolation a theme of my life?  I want help but the resources I seek aren't very present in regards to what I'm looking for, actual interaction face to face with a loving person when I'm in a state of mind that won't ruin the experience for myself.

By they're so far and in between...  I've similarly become so judgmental without second thought to just silence and quell my frustrated lack of fulfillment as I question why I'm the way I am forcing me to be alone just to be happy only I'm not happy all by myself.

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.  That's how confused things have become for me. What is it to do anything stated when I lack the most important resource of any kind of work apparently, that being Others?

I have to go off of endless strangers picking up for the 2 minutes I interact with each of them whatever there is to pick up.  I can't have in depth discussion with others except here on this forum, with people miles away beyond chance of meeting without expending money, and even then.

I don't even think anyone here would really get to know me, since I really am not the same in person as I am on a forum.  I'm quiet, timid.  Sometimes if I start talking, I talk a lot and get annoying.  I'm pretty oblivious, back and forth or I give off the wierdo vibes, and I can feel it happening and I don't know how to stop making the other person perceive me as a wierdo, I don't know how to not care about it.  I used to like being weird, and now it just makes me feel lonely.

So.  I don't really.  Know how to handle prolonged isolation and the effects of desyncing me to society it brings.  Furthermore, I'm so exhausted by people, by the people just looking at me, dancing around me in small talk, not being direct, or just plainly not caring at all.  Just, the usual when I'm out in public, and I can't stand it.

I feel like I'm the only sane person in a world of insanity sometimes, and sometimes I feel like I'm a paranoid schizophrenic in a world where I'm actually the sane person and society has just been conditioned to think backwards, where sane people appear insane, and insane people appear sane.

And I'm so seclusive because I just want to be unconditionally accepted like I've done for so many in person, and it never happens in person.  It makes every single encounter exhausting, having to deal with the emotional rounds of wondering why people don't care, wondering why I slowly more and more cease to care, why people would rather hate than love, why I slowly lose the sensation of love and feel like I'm settling in a quiet black dank place of loneliness just to feel accepted because finally there's no one rejecting me inside of themselves, causing me to slowly reject everyone else inside of me.

I don't know if it's the job I work or where I live but my daily interactions with people are impersonal and generally not very spectacular.

I have a better time just trying to accept everything as is at the present moment, but I want to be able to do as I used to do, the circumstances aren't even that different, it is literally me being unable to be as I want to be.  I could take a day job, but I'm scared too.

I could be more sociable, but it's so exhausting I don't want to be.

Maybe I want my cake but want to eat it too, if that's how the saying goes.

[Minyatur]

Min, it's a weird way of explaining it, I'm not literally rejecting it's existence, I'm just proclaiming outwardly that I do not want to be that, almost as if secretly begging my higher self to pleaaassse not send that catalyst my way.  I call it 'rejecting it' because in a way it is me saying I do not want this experience please do not send it my way, I reject it in mind.  I accept such and such, even if I disagree with the manner of learning, and in that acceptance and understanding I KNOW I DO NOT WANT THAT.

So, dear Higher Self, DO-NOT-WANT, DO-NOT-SEND, THANK-YOU

Yeah but you do realize that with how this Universe works, it is pretty much asking for it. You could dismiss the idea as not being consonant with you but instead you put a lot of focus on it and seem to resonate the need to experience it.
I don't care about being a murderer or not, I simply don't see it happening making it just very unlikely. Fighting it off would be a way to attract it.
...
One thing that is important with thoughts, is to not work them with negations. The subconscious mind doesn't work with negations. So if you repeat to yourself "I do not want something", you're really just repeating the "something" over and over and writing it down deeper and deeper within your mind.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

That used to make sense to me.

Now it seems mean.

My memory recalls of the cat I hit driving to work recently... Was it because of how I've been thinking that it happened?

I don't want to kill. I'm supposed to not iterate it and not do it and hope my higher self just doesn't arrange for me to experience it too? But not desiring it is the same as asking for it to happen...?

I just. -Sigh-

More and more. It isn't LOO is it. Its. It IS just how this place is...

And...I knew about this all? I was okay with this all? To come here, do it?

I don't understand.

I just feel perplexed. More and more... I really don't want to be here.

More and more...

Back to how it all used to be. Clinging. Waiting. Just waiting for the ride to end.

You can ask me a million ways to love and enjoy myself. But when I'm just waiting for it to end. Enjoying it gets pretty hard.

I guess I'm back to square 3. What a game.

Thank you either way. Helpful insight.

[Stranger]

Look, this is a dark place, overall. This is why lightworkers, we are told, have been attracted here - each one to light a candle in the darkness.

Could that be why you wanted to be here? Perhaps not to experience it, but to help heal it - and by doing so, to find the peace you seek?

Each of us is constantly adding our energy to the mix that exists here, that shapes this particular "reality". What would you like your contribution to be?

[Minyatur]

That used to make sense to me.

Now it seems mean.

My memory recalls of the cat I hit driving to work recently...  Was it because of how I've been thinking that it happened?

I don't want to kill.  I'm supposed to not iterate it and not do it and hope my higher self just doesn't arrange for me to experience it too? But not desiring it is the same as asking for it to happen...?

Well you need to accept the catalyst and distill it. Karma work in cycles, I also hit an animal once with my car and it never happened again afterwards.

I just. -Sigh-

More and more.  It isn't LOO is it.  Its.  It IS just how this place is...

Yeah, but like anything is it is in the image of the Creator. You could say though that the image of the Creator is that of infinite potential.

And...I knew about this all? I was okay with this all?  To come here, do it?

I don't understand.

I just feel perplexed.  More and more...  I really don't want to be here.

More and more...

Back to how it all used to be.  Clinging.  Waiting.  Just waiting for the ride to end.

You can ask me a million ways to love and enjoy myself.  But when I'm just waiting for it to end.  Enjoying it gets pretty hard.

I guess I'm back to square 3.  What a game.

Thank you either way.  Helpful insight.

Why did you want to come here? That is a question for you to ask yourself and to unveil.

Stranger gave good insights, all else I can think of is that you may have come here to heal yourself and not just this world. Perhaps you were a tired entity that wanted something new, who knows...

[Monica]

I think the Ra Material is better in terms of purity of Love, it just might be dangerous to those immature intellectual types as myself.

I won't comment on whether or not you are an 'immature intellectual type'    but I will say that I agree it can be dangerous for some people who aren't ready for it. This is one of the reasons (among others) that mystery schools were often 'secret' and the higher knowledge only dispenses to initiates deemed ready for it.

We have an unprecedented situation now, in this age of the internet. Anyone can get any info anytime.

Thank you though, your thoughts helped me out.

I do take them seriously.

I'm so glad to hear that! I was actually leaving for an appointment when I saw your post and felt that I had to say something, but I didn't have time to say as much as I likely would have otherwise. So I'm glad my few words were helpful to you.

Would you ever be willing to share what made you question your higher self?

Sure. I had a pattern of feeling abandoned, probably stemming from a past life in which I was left in a dungeon to rot. (I had memories of this past life as a child.) I was raised Catholic, then discovered Edgar Cayce, then went born-again for a few years, then rejected the bible after I actually read it and studied it and was horrified by it. THEN I discovered the Law of One, and every word was underlined. I resonated with it virtually 100%. Still do.

For awhile, I lived in near-constant bliss. Literally. I was so high all the time I could have moved mountains. (Natural high, post-cannabis days, so no, not that kind of high.) I had no issues with the Law of One, or with the planet, or with life in general. Life was good.

So what happened? I fell. I fell hard. Everything I believed in let me down. You wouldn't have known it by looking at me, because on the surface, life was normal. But spiritually, I was empty inside. I then developed a life-threatening health condition which mystified the doctors. They couldn't help me, so I sought help from alternative doctors. I tried everything: herbs, supplements, diets (yes I even went back to eating meat again for awhile...that didn't help either), therapies, etc. I went to naturopaths, homeopaths, acupuncturists, chiropractors, Reiki masters, faith healers (both Christian and New Age) all to no avail. Meanwhile, my spiritual unease grew worse. I still went through the motions. I still meditated, I still prayed, I still read lots of spiritual books, I tried various churches...even went back to Christianity for awhile. The pastor laid hands on all the other people and they promptly fainted. Not me. I felt an electric charge but I channeled it. It just went right down through my body.

I had to face death, head-on. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes 10-20 times per day. Death was by my side, all the time. That wasn't the kind of 'not alone' I was looking for!

Nothing worked. I cried out with all my heart and soul. I didn't know who or what I was praying to, in this Law of One era. I even tried praying to Jesus again, and that didn't work either.

This went on for 15 years.

I wasn't physically or emotionally alone, thankfully. I was blessed with a husband who adores me and a beautiful child. So there was a lot of good stuff happening in my life. But spiritually, I was lost. I felt spiritually alone, like I was a tiny speck in a vast universe and didn't matter. At all.

Was this because the Law of One messed with my head? No, because I was born with this predisposition. I have memories of being in that dungeon, wailing, just wailing, for hours on end, all for naught. I was left down there, abandoned. So yeah, that carried over into this life. I can't really blame the Law of One for that. If anything, the Law of One gave meaning to it all, in ways that Cayce couldn't.

But knowing just how vast the universe it - much vaster than I'd ever imagined - was a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I had a sense of awe, but on the other, I felt even smaller and even more insignificant.

I did find it most unsettling to read in the Law of One that the personality is basically lost, and only the important parts of our being are passed on after leaving this life. I didn't find that comforting at all, but rather disturbing. I asked Carla about it one time and she didn't seem concerned. She said "nothing of value is ever lost" and I thought about some of the things in life that give me joy. Listening to music, for example. Would my love for music be lost?

I became a therapy junkie. I attended every New Age workshop, every healing retreat, every meditation class, etc. I got training in Rebirthing. I took a course in remote healing from a Master. I got initiated into Kriya Yoga by a Master and when he gave me Shaktipat I saw brilliant mandalas.

Yet still I felt alone.

I cried out to God, whatever God is. I cried out to my Higher Self. No answer. I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I screamed, I wailed.

No answer.

Finally, after so many years of this, I got angry at my Higher Self. Not at God. I didn't (and still don't) know what God is. God is impersonal, God is the Universe, God is the Undistorted. To define God is to distort. The Tao that can be named isn't the Tao.

I think what Christians call 'Jesus' or 'the Holy Spirit' is really their Higher Self. They ask for help, they pray, and their Higher Self answers them.

My problem was that I wasn't getting any answers. The New Agers all said "do this meditation and meet your Spirit guides" and I met plenty of other beings, but never my Spirit guides. Never any who would walk with me. They just gave me glimpses but weren't there for me, ya know?

So I finally got pissed. I gave my Higher Self an ass-chewing. I told my Higher Self that it was a really crappy Higher Self, really cruel, to leave me alone like that.

STILL nothing happened. I still continued on with my life, feeling pretty good overall but still alone inside.

FINALLY, I got a response. I didn't do anything to elicit that response. I didn't earn it. I didn't deserve it. It didn't happen as a result of any special prayer, ritual or mental revelation.

It just happened. I can't explain it.

But I'm No longer alone.   I know who I am now.

You aren't alone either. I don't know why they f*** with us like that. I really don't like this veil stuff. But this I KNOW: None of us is alone, No matter how much we think we are. It took me 20 years to discover that.

Thank you everyone.  I'll stick around.  I feel pretty embarrassed about this thread now...

Nothing to be embarrassed about! Your thoughts and feelings are entirely valid!

...

[Billy]

I wasn't physically or emotionally alone, thankfully. I was blessed with a husband who adores me and a beautiful child. So there was a lot of good stuff happening in my life. But spiritually, I was lost. I felt spiritually alone, like I was a tiny speck in a vast universe and didn't matter. At all.

This is precisely how I have been feeling and I do not get it.  I have a good family and friends.  I have people in my life who are willing to hear me out and help me with whatever it is I need.  I have this forum and the wonderful people on it and affiliated with it.  Yet in spite of all of this I still feel completely and utterly alone.  I just don't get it.  Are you saying your loneliness was the result of a past life trauma?  If so, I wonder if mine has any such connection. 

[Monica]

This is precisely how I have been feeling and I do not get it.  I have a good family and friends.  I have people in my life who are willing to hear me out and help me with whatever it is I need.  I have this forum and the wonderful people on it and affiliated with it.  Yet in spite of all of this I still feel completely and utterly alone.  I just don't get it.  Are you saying your loneliness was the result of a past life trauma?  If so, I wonder if mine has any such connection. 

We all have past life experiences that have contributed to who we are now, no doubt. I have no way of knowing how much of it was from the past life experience, but I'm sure that obviously colored my worldview. Still, the Law of One did contribute, because once I realized how vast the universe is, and how the Creator really doesn't care what we experience, I felt like nothing mattered....I didn't matter.

One thing the Christians have an advantage on is their child-like faith, where they really think they are important to God and have a 'personal relationship with Jesus'. They also think they are 'like filthy rags' without Jesus so I think it's a very UNhealthy view. But, it works for them. So after I could no longer accept such ideas, I had to find a way to feel like I mattered again to such a vast universe, in which Jesus himself was but a Wanderer.

I never did find it. It found me. I don't know how. I had nothing to do with it. Or very little anyway. Well I guess I did, but it's not like I just had a major revelation or did some special thing and Poof! I was born-again, like the Christians do. No, nothing like that. It was just response to catalyst and paying attention to certain clues that, I realize now, were provided by my Higher Self. But finally my Higher Self was revealed to me, and that is something that had never happened to me before, not even when I was a Christian.

I can't really explain it any more than that. But I was very surprised! Turns out I knew all along but just didn't make a simple, obvious connection.

One thing that did help me a lot was Nassim Haramein's work. He has shown mathematically that each one of us 'is the Event Horizon'. I highly recommend watching every video of his you can find. There are lots of youtube. He really explains the holographic nature of the universe and how it relates to each of us personally.

Also, learning about alternate timelines helped me a lot too. I realized that this isn't the only reality, and how to jump timelines in tiny, incremental steps by choosing the Love in the present moment.

I'm convinced that Christians are connecting with their Higher Selves, and just think it's Jesus. Plus, Jesus has become a very powerful thoughtform. I don't think it matters what one believes, as long as it works to connect with the Higher Self. This was the part that eluded me though. My Higher Self didn't seem reachable, no matter what I did. I know lots of non-Christian people who feel that they have a strong connection with their Higher Self, or wither their Spirit guides, or some sort of guidance system. So one doesn't doesn't need to go back to a religion to find that.

But I can relate to what Tired-Philosopher said...it's like maybe knowing too much actually gets in the way, because it's harder to just trust in some silly belief, and that might be the very thing that gets the connection made, at least in some cases.

For me, the pivotal moment came from focusing on following Ra's advice to find the Love in the present moment. I really think that the entire Ra Material could be discarded, all except for that single tenet, along with the other 4 about seeing the Creator in self, in other-selves, in Nature, and in experiences. Those 5 things, that's it. That's a powerful philosophy to live by.

...

[Minyatur]

I don't get how one can blame their Higher Self for anything. The Higher Self is you who went through what you're going through, so blaming it is just blaming yourself at a later time for finding your current experience useful in shaping your soul into something more beautiful that will radiate a brighter light unto this Creation. You can blame it, but this is a realization you will come to have.

Btw Monica, you are very important to God, you are an equal part of Itself. Together we create Intelligent Infinity, without us there would be Infinite Void. For this to work, not a single one of us can not be there, not a single experience can ultimately be rejected in the end, because then the Creator would not want to know Itself and existence would not be.

One of the core foundation of my faith, is that in the end no path will be regretted by anyone, no experience will be considered unsought or unnecessary, no single instant of existence will be seen as otherwise than Love. This is what allows the simultaneous nature of time to take place. That experience is sought before happening but also simultaneously accepted after it has been experienced, that nothing can escape this fate as our true nature is the potential to be all things.

[Jade]

Without the veil, loneliness doesn't exist. Unity is all there is. I think loneliness is definitely one of the experiences we come to utilize with the veil. I think there is much to learn. I try to frame my difficult lessons in a way that, that I am learning them so someone else doesn't have to necessarily, and, maybe I can use what I've learned to comfort myself to comfort others in the future.

[native]

I just feel perplexed.  More and more...

I've been going through a lot of what you wrestle with as well, especially with the "This is how this stuff all works?" end of things, because a lot of it just starts to sound bizarre and cruel the more and more you consider it. I think our relationship to those explanations serve a part of ourselves and then may no longer serve us. The philosophy may remain somewhat, but what we do with it and how we put it out there begins to change, in my experience.

I'm flirting with the idea that all of this is simply the beginning of opening up the heart-center to more of its true-color expression..that we're only just beginning to learn how to feel and make sense of things on a deeper level. Whereas before, it was more of a thinking approach. The irony is that when you step back and look at it all, it seems as if we're coming full-circle..back to the energy of "None of this makes sense..what kind of harsh environment are we living in?" that got us here in the first place. So there is some kind of fluctuation going on that is peculiar.

And perhaps it's not peculiar, but almost to be expected. We move over to one side and look at things from that angle, and then are drawn back to the other side to examine all that was gained over there and consider it from a new perspective.

[AnthroHeart]

Jade, what's the difference between 3D time/space unity, and 6D unity?

[Jade]

I'm not sure I can answer that question satisfactorily. Really, unity just is. It's the veil that gives the illusion of a lack of unity. In 3D time/space, we may still keep some ego strictures from 3D, but I think in time/space unity is still more accessible than in space/time. Good question though, if I come upon a satisfactory answer about what the state of the veil is in 3D time/space, I will let you know. Nothing is jumping out to me Ra-quote wise, though.

[Parsons]

I will share my opinion the best I can to help clarify my viewpoint but I can't make you see it my way. I can't really offer a way to lessen the degree of suffering of the world in your eyes. That is not what I have done for myself.

When I run across specific instances of suffering, I contemplate it deeply.  If it is reasonably possible to render aid, I will consider doing so. If I cannot help, I consider / digest the situation the best I can. I then 'zoom out' and see the forest through the trees (the big picture). "This enity has chosen some harsh catalyst for itself. This must be a critical lesson that it's oversoul must learn. Without the catalyst and without the veil, this entity would learn this catalyst at the snail's pace." I then offer my (silent) blessing that I hope the entity perceives and processes the specific catalyst as such so the catalyst is no longer necessary and ceases permanently. I find that more appropriate and effective than offering the entity a blessing to simply cease the harsh catalyst, which would only be a temporary respite if the catalyst is not perceived as such.

I can't stress enough the critical elements to my viewpoint:

Suffering pales in comparison without the veil compared to suffering with the veil because the entity does not automatically know it and all entities are the Creator. However, learning without the veil is incredibility slow. A lesson learned with the veil might take only a few months / years / lifetimes. The same lesson could take hundreds / thousands / millions of years through an unbelievable number of incarnations. 

If you only focus on the challenges that arise in the short term (the trees) and never zoom out and see the big picture (the beautiful forest) that the oversoul is consciously choosing the catalyst for it's individual incarnations so it might progress, of course all you will perceive is suffering.

[Nicholas]

Let me know if I should stay or go, B4thers.  I am tired.  

Well I think you should stay chap because when I look back on my own experiences, I am glad that I did not run from those troublesome situations. As for the veil though, imagine raising your finger at the creator because you forgot the padlock code to the pearly gates?

As antithetical as it may seem, even for a moment, if you accept full responsibility for every thought and emotion that is grinding you down at this time, you might find a well deserved break from the challenges you are presented with.

When I look back on my own life TTP (I have recently turned 39), the first expression of my own tiredness came about when I was 12 years old. I was having a bath and I wanted to time how long I could hold my breath under water with my new digital Casio watch. I remained under the water for 1.24 minutes and threw my head up in mild shock. You see, it wasn't that I was desperate for breath that led me to come up for air, it was the realisation in my mind that I would die if I stayed under. I felt a strange peace once I had expelled all of the air from my lungs and it was only after thinking about staying there, that impulsed me to raise my head.

My point here, is that I came up for air because I did not want to drown, not because I could no longer hold my breath. Reflecting back, I was tired of living.

Moving forward to when I was 24 years and I tried to strangle my own mum (I had become psychotic). 2 policemen interviewed me in my bedroom and I had a real urge to return to that peaceful moment I experienced when I was 12. I only lived a 10 minute walk from the sea but I was prevented from leaving the house. 

When Ra recommended the balancing exercises (I read the LOO when I was 36), I knew precisely what they were getting at. I had personally experienced what it was like to be the abused, and the abuser. I had some 3D catalyst/experience to reflect upon, and quantify in a more understandable framework.

So yeah, what I think is actually irrelevant with regards to whether you should stay or not. I only hope that sharing tid-bits of my own journey somehow helps you to realise that you are not alone