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Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-04-2015
Just trying to get some input... And venting some off type of frustration.
All I Truly Know, Is That I Know Nothing. So, this is my default. I do not Know, I Believe though.
The Law of One managed to put me into a Largerspective, I would call myself nihilistic because for me, I see no point to my life. The Universe has recently tried, extensively, to show me there is many important points of all sizes. Yet for me, I feel numb to them. I see myself just casting a gaze outwards, I look and I see the points, but I do not understand. I wanted to love, and I couldn't find a way to do so without harm to myself. So I kept at it and grew numb in some places, in some ways. Then gave up here and there, and let the feelings die out, and let the pains gray over and blur out into black. Inviting the void to eat me up in places that otherwise already don't feel present.
I listen to this song by Nine Inch Nails called Into the Void and it has this chorus where Trent Reznor just screams over and over, 'Tried to Save Myself' until he starts losing coherency with the song itself like he's off track on purpose. Then the chorus ends as he whispers over and over 'Tried to Save Myself' but only to admit finally, 'But I Just Keep Slipping'.
And I think it fits the bill about right. Slipping Into the Void. I think the full realization came the other week when I had that Hellsperience (I seriously don't know what to call it.) and found myself in a trapped perspective of having no choice and no say, just being stuck in this place doing whats required of me, because in actuality I've lost most of my desire to be here. I admitted to a friend the other day after we got into a small argument...And long story short I found I accidentally summed myself up as a literal Wanderer who's just trying to Survive. And I realize the inherent devious hidden inference in that phrase, Just Trying. It means I'm not Doing all the time.
Yet no one ever notices. And no one seems to care, and that's okay. That is everyone's Free Will at work I see now. I see they make choices and that's their decisions. So when I found all of my desires, about a good 85+% of them all were finally still and gone, I looked inwards and realized I was pretty much empty in terms of desire, with a few lights left on but most long extinguished.
And that's okay too, cause I did that intentionally by my own choice. Because I didn't want to change, but I did regardless, meaning my entire original points were all meaningless to begin with. I extinguished everything for no reason basically thinking there was one. Like a paranoid child hides a cookie in his pocket and walks by his Mom, but in his paranoia of her finding out, completely ruins his own guise by making it so utterly obvious. All that work, and I did it to my self. And I had the entire cosmos telling me it, and I didn't want to listen. But I did finally, and there we go. I get placed back into the smallerspective.
Which is here. In my house, in my room, on my bed. Alone. Quiet. Still but never silent. No motivation to do anything but waste time and procrastinate and do nothing. Tired and confused about women. Sad and annoyed at my job. Worried about my mom. Yet happy for so many other things but just overall not focused on them. I find I have essentially all I need. So I feel like my basic desire is met, and having really no other desires but spiritual and personal ones, I only work to try and fulfill the want for a car, in hopes of jumpstarting a social life and getting more opportunities since I started the Law of One to interact with people during the day. Since I began the LOO, I have been on an overnight shift. With that desire for a car being the one of the only other desires that I'm willing to discuss here, not including one other desire...With only one other after that one being left that I haven't already mentioned.
Either way. I've taken inventory and found myself somewhat hollow. It's not a bad thing, was alarming for a moment but then I kind of realized it wasn't a big deal. I did want to be transparent in personality as to allow the Creator to come through, but I imagine that'd require doing so with unconditional love towards the outer dream, not indifference...
So when you live feeling like a void, it's sort of like you just don't care anymore. You still obviously give a damn, but to expend the emotion is to provide energy I don't feel I have. I opt for being kindly, even compassionate, but it's dispersed at the slightest motion of negativity. I just mirror energy but not output or tone. It tends to work well enough at repulsion of undesirable people. And it worked much better than Love sadly.
Which further hits me in the face, as to how people would rather make indifference an easier trait to be expressed than love, when they all want love. The society aspects were always backwards and confusing to me, but sometimes they're outright incompatible. I don't want to change myself into emptiness and indifference just to survive because Love wasn't enough for everyone else so they needed to continue being cruel and indifferent too.
So when that basic means of operation becomes an issue and I no longer desire to be indifferent, I'll land back right in hell very much confused by why everyone doesn't seem to care. Maybe being a sensitive person just means you need to get used to insensitivity. I just want to let it be and be let be.
Either way. For someone who flirts with death mentally and wishes for a contempt of his own mortality, I'm a pretty timid and cautious person. Survival was always a fascination to me the moment I read The Hatchet. It stuck with me and lasted into my teenage years, I took a bit of Archery and probably would have done Boy Scouts if not for some sketchy stuff apparently -shrugs- but I found that I was then enthralled, so very, very badly desired a Post-Apocalypse setting. Mixed with the inherent survival enjoyment mixed with the overall setting of survival.
I sometimes wish I could just go into the wilderness, and live out there with one other person... Or alone. It's hard to say anymore because I no longer actually want that. It's like a fading desire/memory, kind of like many other things I no longer remember but knew something was once there... While others are clearly parts of me missing now. Enjoyment of Video Games, Movies, Shows, Manga, Anime, all mostly gone. Others like hobbies I once had and don't remember. It is like a literal void does eat them up. Some times I look in a place in my head, and it's empty and I think 'Huh, I thought...Huh...' (kind of like you can't think of something, but instead of being at the tip of your tongue feeling, it's closer to you can't remember what it was but you used to know it.)
And that is actually somewhat scary. Looking inwards and finding emptiness. I always thought I'd find fullness, but I found that on the inner-outer (if that makes any sense... Which no, no it does not.) Kind of like, the first times I looked inward I was scratching the surface, which was fullness. But then beneath that is a lot of ash where much flame used to be.
It's like having a portion of yourself as a void, and another portion is as your fullness.
I feel so All-Encompassing but today I'm in the empty created inside my own fullness. I hung out with some friends just a few hours ago and got really bad emotional wants to be alone when I realized half of them were drunk and they all just wanted to drive around, smoke, blast music, and 'do stuff' without actually really specifying anything to do. I guess that swiveled me over into darkness and made me want to just be stuck in the void in my head than actually be there with them.
Life on Planet Earth today left me feeling lonely and yearning to be alone. How that works out? Maybe I should just do what my emotional body is telling me. It's just that being alone constantly... Can really drive me off the sanity-edge lol.
Why can't I have one person to be with in person who... -long sigh- It's weird how I miss my ex for how she used to be, more than for her friendship. I wish I knew another person kind of like her.
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-04-2015
Hi
just skimming this from you... (as I don't want to be affected too much by what you're feeling).... but would like to offer you Usui Reiki over distance if you'd like... I'm sitting here watching some tv and have some spare time.... or if you'd like a mini tarot reading that is possible... ( both offers for free btw
nb: the fullmoon we've just had has been a 'massive' one.. vwery intense OTT... mega 'changes to be made for yourself' moon....
if you want a reading or Reiki pm a photo of you and/or your name...
Splash
RE: Into the Void - Turtle - 06-04-2015
You speak of meaning of existence, and feel drained of passion. My friend, passion is the very point of physical life...the finding of it and the living of it. Opening up to the one infinite creator's energy is not a deadening experience...it is at it's lowest intensity, blissful, and at it's peak, ecstatic.
Do not let this world confuse you on that. If you get in touch with passion again, you will be amazed how dramatically you will affect others who wish they could be living a passionate life.
RE: Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-04-2015
Its Hard to say what the problem is. I'd call it depression or emotional loneliness?
Its a weird question. Why do I desire to be alone when others make me feel lonely?
Splash, I'll agree to a reiki working on two conditions, A. Tell me what its like. And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind. Its the process that makes my mind roll into gear and lock into place reconfigurations of any kind offered to me. Otherwise i find that the faith aspect alone while enough, leaves me thirsty for Comprehension.. Reiki is one of my spiritual desires i want to pick up~
Let me know please
I'm pretty passionate about... Well. Basically just the Law of One. I can agree with you on the descriptory emotions though. Although i experienced an emotion I'd liken to 'Positivity' during my work.
Now a days i feel like i don't look inwards into the right places haha
RE: Into the Void - Spaced - 06-04-2015
Why not embrace the void? Let everything fall away, at least for a time.
When all of it is gone, what's left? What comes into being through the emptiness, what can it show you? What comes back to you, and what sees you through to the other side? Some questions to keep in mind.
Sounds to me like you are going through a transition. I've been there and I've struggled with a lot of the same things you are describing. All I can say is try to have some faith that you will come through this.
Just some thoughts, feel free to ignore me if you think what I say is rubbish
Peace brother.
RE: Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-04-2015
No, that's exactly what I'm trying to figure out, so thank you.
I never thought to surrender to the void like i did to the plenum. Though I'd rather see it as becoming the void to finally reconcile it to the massive Love sitting somewhere up in my
But it's still. Uncomfortable. I'll need to work on accepting it and myself for who I've become again.
Sigh. I'm always changing lately heh..
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-04-2015
I can relate to many things you've said except that I never was a sensible person so I've never really had any problems with being as such.
I do think we tend to look at things too much from a 3D perspective when in fact we might be channeling our true imbalances. What I mean is that the roots of how you feel can run deeper than what you can imagine and to work on them you first need to know yourself.
Like spaced said, surrender yourself to the void, or at least your feeling of it, and learn to know yourself from your very core else you won't truly know yourself and will see through confusion only.
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-04-2015
2am here in Australia.. so will get back to you with answers/explanations in about 12-14 hours
till then...exercise can be very good to shake off stale/sad energy... (a possible temporary solution)
RE: Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-04-2015
(06-04-2015, 12:18 PM)Splash Wrote: 2am here in Australia.. so will get back to you with answers/explanations in about 12-14 hours
till then...exercise can be very good to shake off stale/sad energy... (a possible temporary solution)
-has a whole paragraph of excuses regarding to exercise-
-refers to my excuses thread-
With the most prominent issue being my MASSIVE pet peeve for being sticky, which sweating causes, which is a huge demotivator to exercise to breaking a sweat (or sweating at all. IN THE DESERT, UGH!!) Which is then added on to my hatred of sweat getting on my glasses, which always happens (-shakes fist at bodily functions-) cause otherwise something inside of me has recently said, -go out, be active- And I haven't listened to it... And now it's HOT outside. Does running in place count as actual running???
I could swim, I think I will! And I could do calisthenics (I believe its called). I just don't want to be a sticky sweaty smelly mess each time.
...Oh jeez, maybe I should just get over my pet peeve of stickiness, that'd literally solve 70% of the problem!!
...And yet, there are times I don't mind stickiness.
Okay, I think I know what to attempt meditation upon. I think I just understood what the Void is on a small level.
You guys. Awe. Thank you for helping me out!
RE: Into the Void - Aion - 06-04-2015
Just keep on cruisin', the Void eventually becomes Everything you are looking for.
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-04-2015
lol... are you a Virgo??
(still waking up here.... will reply re Reiki in a while...)
(06-04-2015, 12:44 PM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote:(06-04-2015, 12:18 PM)Splash Wrote: 2am here in Australia.. so will get back to you with answers/explanations in about 12-14 hours
till then...exercise can be very good to shake off stale/sad energy... (a possible temporary solution)
-has a whole paragraph of excuses regarding to exercise-
-refers to my excuses thread-
With the most prominent issue being my MASSIVE pet peeve for being sticky, which sweating causes, which is a huge demotivator to exercise to breaking a sweat (or sweating at all. IN THE DESERT, UGH!!) Which is then added on to my hatred of sweat getting on my glasses, which always happens (-shakes fist at bodily functions-) cause otherwise something inside of me has recently said, -go out, be active- And I haven't listened to it... And now it's HOT outside. Does running in place count as actual running???
I could swim, I think I will! And I could do calisthenics (I believe its called). I just don't want to be a sticky sweaty smelly mess each time.
...Oh jeez, maybe I should just get over my pet peeve of stickiness, that'd literally solve 70% of the problem!!
...And yet, there are times I don't mind stickiness.
Okay, I think I know what to attempt meditation upon. I think I just understood what the Void is on a small level.
You guys. Awe. Thank you for helping me out!
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-05-2015
hi VAS- The first reply I will make is that it would feel respectful if you thanked me for my offer of Usui Reiki and then explained/requested your "two conditions"...
(I say this because I wasn't asking for you to "agree" to a Reiki - but only offering it to you - as a possibility...
nb: 'permission' /'freewill' is essential in Reiki, (the Energy can not be sent/received without the recipients permission).
"A. Tell me what its like."
A. Individual for each recipient.
LIGHT.
LOVE.
Safe.
What you most need at that moment in time.
Unique communication between you and 'Universal Life Force Energy' (which I am but the channel for). (Though my additional separate skill in clairvoyance augments my Reiki 'treatments'.)
"And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind."
B. I am not allowed to - it is a sacred Initiation passed down over several thousand years... recently rediscovered in Japan in the late 1800's.
I am bound to secrecy about my Initiation and as to how I channel the Reiki. This is for protection of the purity of the LIGHT/Universal Life Force involved/embodied.
However, as said previously - it can not be forced onto/into any being.
It is absolute goodness... absolute LIGHT.... so it can only be positive or neutral.
Reiki has no capacity to force itself onto a recipient - nor would Reiki want to.
addendum:
Some possible 'reactions' : laughter, feeling warm, sleepiness. feeling nothing, feeling 'quiet and calm', slight agitation (which would be transmitted to me and I would (possibly) 'automatically' stop sending), feeling indescribable joy, peace, feeling sad (in a healing way), tears, having energy to do things, discomfort in the area of problem followed by heat there and then feeling better... feeling nothing... but then sleeping very well that evening.. reduction in appetite - or increase in appetite...etc
:idea: it's a dialogue and energetic exchange/conversation between Your 'mind/body soul complex' and 'Universal Life Force Energy'... so each time will be a private and unique conversation between you - (I am the just the 'conduit'.. the 'facilitator')
nb: 'Faith' is not required..
any questions?
(06-04-2015, 11:08 AM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: Its Hard to say what the problem is. I'd call it depression or emotional loneliness?
Its a weird question. Why do I desire to be alone when others make me feel lonely?
Splash, I'll agree to a reiki working on two conditions, A. Tell me what its like. And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind. Its the process that makes my mind roll into gear and lock into place reconfigurations of any kind offered to me. Otherwise i find that the faith aspect alone while enough, leaves me thirsty for Comprehension.. Reiki is one of my spiritual desires i want to pick up~
Let me know please
I'm pretty passionate about... Well. Basically just the Law of One. I can agree with you on the descriptory emotions though. Although i experienced an emotion I'd liken to 'Positivity' during my work.
Now a days i feel like i don't look inwards into the right places haha
RE: Into the Void - Billy - 06-05-2015
I too feel like my sense of self is hanging on by a thread, like I am the faintest of silhouettes and that I face an inescapable void which is just about ready to consume me. Maybe it's time we let it do so. You first hah.
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-05-2015
I've thought about going for a Reiki treatment but I feel like it would destroy my soul.
RE: Into the Void - Aion - 06-05-2015
(06-05-2015, 01:32 PM)Minyatur Wrote: I've thought about going for a Reiki treatment but I feel like it would destroy my soul.
LOL!
RE: Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-05-2015
(06-05-2015, 12:16 AM)Splash Wrote:
The first reply I will make is that it would feel respectful if you thanked me for my offer of Usui Reiki and then explained/requested your "two conditions"...
(I say this because I wasn't asking for you to "agree" to a Reiki - but only offering it to you - as a possibility...
nb: 'permission' /'freewill' is essential in Reiki, (the Energy can not be sent/received without the recipients permission).
"A. Tell me what its like."
A. Individual for each recipient.
LIGHT.
LOVE.
Safe.
What you most need at that moment in time.
Unique communication between you and 'Universal Life Force Energy' (which I am but the channel for). (Though my additional separate skill in clairvoyance augments my Reiki 'treatments'.)
"And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind."
B. I am not allowed to - it is a sacred Initiation passed down over several thousand years... recently rediscovered in Japan in the late 1800's.
I am bound to secrecy about my Initiation and as to how I channel the Reiki. This is for protection of the purity of the LIGHT/Universal Life Force involved/embodied.
However, as said previously - it can not be forced onto/into any being.
It is absolute goodness... absolute LIGHT.... so it can only be positive or neutral.
Reiki has no capacity to force itself onto a recipient - nor would Reiki want to.
addendum:
Some possible 'reactions' : laughter, feeling warm, sleepiness. feeling nothing, feeling 'quiet and calm', slight agitation (which would be transmitted to me and I would (possibly) 'automatically' stop sending), feeling indescribable joy, peace, feeling sad (in a healing way), tears, having energy to do things, discomfort in the area of problem followed by heat there and then feeling better... feeling nothing... but then sleeping very well that evening.. reduction in appetite - or increase in appetite...etc
:idea: it's a dialogue and energetic exchange/conversation between Your 'mind/body soul complex' and 'Universal Life Force Energy'... so each time will be a private and unique conversation between you - (I am the just the 'conduit'.. the 'facilitator')
nb: 'Faith' is not required..
any questions?
(06-04-2015, 11:08 AM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: Its Hard to say what the problem is. I'd call it depression or emotional loneliness?
Its a weird question. Why do I desire to be alone when others make me feel lonely?
Splash, I'll agree to a reiki working on two conditions, A. Tell me what its like. And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind. Its the process that makes my mind roll into gear and lock into place reconfigurations of any kind offered to me. Otherwise i find that the faith aspect alone while enough, leaves me thirsty for Comprehension.. Reiki is one of my spiritual desires i want to pick up~
Let me know please
I'm pretty passionate about... Well. Basically just the Law of One. I can agree with you on the descriptory emotions though. Although i experienced an emotion I'd liken to 'Positivity' during my work.
Now a days i feel like i don't look inwards into the right places haha
Let me start with...
Thank you for the offer, I must decline it though. If not because I offended you, then because I have no idea how to respond to you. I would have answered sooner but I didn't know how to say this, because I mean it in honesty and without negativity.
It is very odd being told I should thank someone offering a free service to me. Especially with my manner of operations, and my experiences...My usual offering of services gets meet typically with silent appreciation, I sort of just assume most people are thankful for the consideration, and I was and am thankful that you'd offer aid to me so quickly and willingly. That I offended alone makes me not want to ask you to do so though, feeling it'd just be unfair or odd. I understand you pointed out my disrespectful approach, and I admit it was not thoughtful, it was disrespectful but I didn't intend to be! I heard you say Reiki and my brain rocketed over to 'Want to Know' operation. That it's one of those sacred guarded things is a bit off-putting for me, but ultimately I sort of understand at the same time why it's that way.
I however do willingly grant you permission to ever perform reiki working on me despite my declining your offer. I declined you in respect that I disrespected you. I truly did not mean to and if you still desire to do so... Thank you.
Just know it is also odd hearing someone tell me I should thank them for their offering a free service to me, I was partially offended at first, until I realized not only do I totally agree with you (from an idealistic sense) but that I actually was more offended by my own lack of audacity to defend my own kindly services, and was just mirroring it at you (which is why I didn't respond right away...) As such, I think I'll try what you did some time when I perceive being disrespected.
Thank you for the Catalyst, I would like your services if you still desire to offer them.
(06-05-2015, 03:02 AM)Folk-love Wrote: I too feel like my sense of self is hanging on by a thread, like I am the faintest of silhouettes and that I face an inescapable void which is just about ready to consume me. Maybe it's time we let it do so. You first hah.
So, I did a meditation and let myself go into the void. Let me say first off, I don't typically meditate holding items, so yesterday was my first attempt and it went splendidly, that amethyst orb of mine does the job. I got to a point where I was completely numb, but not in a bad sense, felt closer to I was floating around but I was aware I was sitting but couldn't feel my body. Then things got a bit more into perspective.
I guess a Void is dependent on it's contents. A Void can be seen to be of two types, Primeval or Illusionary, with a Primeval Void being closer to a Portion of the Self we tread not. Where we passively fill that present Void with our presence (we radiate ourselves into those places not yet touched). This orients the primeval chaos of the void into order and makes it reflective, essentially awakening it to its true being 'It Is One'. Then there is Illusionary, that being those perceptions, such as the one I have.
Inside that perception the void could be anything, from a true absence of, to in itself a being and entity. I thought entering a void would cause death, in some dramatic way, of at least the mind. Instead it's like Interstellar's idea of flying into a black hole (Gets intense, but you know... ...You know... ...You know?). After the event horizon it's pretty terrifying, its all uncharted territory but being consciousness it's like I'm not scared I'll die from a void. But also being highly inexperienced with any concepts of mental exploration (cause I was doing that in some weird fun way) I just allowed myself to float 'deep in it' if you will, towards the darkest spots. And it wasn't too bad overall. It got incredibly dark in some ways and others I felt my energy body itself doing things, static jolts across my left knee area and my left hand, right hand holding the orb however was very relaxed and concentrated on holding the orb and connecting with it. (Having a passive conscious motor function running forces me to be conscious, another of my issues was always losing coherency in awareness then dozing off instead of meditating continually). After a while of looking at the habits and emotional thoughts my mind was automatically bringing up I felt like I was a part of the void, like I was just simply asleep.
I thought I'd be saddened to think my feeling so tired all the time will probably never go away unless I transform every last portion of the void into a full on Plenum. Instead I think about my soul self's intentions behind this set up, and realize it isn't in absolutes. Everyone is tired! It's because we have in us places we rest within as if we were asleep during consciousness. It's that jaded glossiness over some people, the numbness, and for others its that permanent furrowing of the brow in chronic discontent and dislike. Others have it in sorrow and a few have it in indifference or frustration and judgment.
I'm as tired as I am because most of me is asleep constantly. That's why having no desires makes sleep greatly enjoyable and death desirable, death and sleep are basically to the physical brain the same thing. I guess in this sense of the void in our minds, they look Primeval, but are truly just fancified illusions. Once you're inside it looks more like a place intentionally blotted out of existence to be experienced. It's purpose believes itself to be absent, when it is in itself a purpose. So it is a very confused and quiet and still place, but it is not hostile. It is menacing on the outside, like I said, going into it was like Interstellar's idea of flying into a black hole. It gets rough and a bit violent, but you won't get bent out of shape or hurt by the process, it's just there to shake you up. Then you get inside and navigate passively as if predesigned (and I'm remembering this all somewhat by design too I think because I just had a dejavu moment of a mental view I had while inside the void, as I wrote that last sentence at 'predesigned').
So in ALL TRUE Actuality, the Void is your dark side. Your Shadow Self, responding to your utmost ignorance of it on an unconscious level, because consciously admitting it isn't enough, that information needs to travel down through the roots of the mind into the unconscious. Essentially, for me, it is me fulfilling my own desire to be gone from this place, without...Admitting it (despite just admitting it), so that I can fulfill that desire, but still live, despite knowing the costs, because I have some seriously odd priorities?????? (Hold on! This was an incredibly twisted and complicated thoughtform I encountered while in the void.) It was like my sadness and desires all were forcibly accepted into one odd configuration trying to be unitary when it was just...Desperation. Yeah! In desperation at the realization of being in hell I did this!
Okay, I remember it all now! I thought I'd need to do a few more meditations to get back the first experiences from the first one. In desperation of finding myself in Hell I needed to fix things, needed a way out that was solution oriented and fair to me and all of my desires in a manner that was, honestly purely selfishly oriented towards survival of my Free Will, more than my Sanity. Which basically was like handing to my darker portions this massive burden and saying 'This too I trust/thrust upon you' and the burden causing the same effect, but inside that environment the only way to basically be gone is to 'avoid' or create a void, in this instance a Sleeping Void (which is ironic to the literal to 'a'bsence created 'a'-void, which is a void that is in itself not a true void but an illusion through some mannerism, this one being Sleep to mimic Death). It was always present but the properties didn't used to be 'void', it used to just be those dark things I didn't truly accept and believe in of myself. Those desires I felt I'd never obtain or fulfill, or was embarrassed or ashamed of to the point of completely forgetting all about it.
So now the work of figuring out how to undo my own self-created mental instability needs to be done on a Yellow Ray level to even create an environment to begin transforming the void into a plenum. Done by myself, consciously in desperation, to 'avoid' the pain.
No idea if any of this is helpful to you Folk. Your question caused me to really...Get in there, made me remember a lot of things I forgot in my meditation.
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-05-2015
(06-05-2015, 01:54 PM)Tan.rar Wrote:(06-05-2015, 01:32 PM)Minyatur Wrote: I've thought about going for a Reiki treatment but I feel like it would destroy my soul.
LOL!
Actually the practicionner would probably stop almost immediately because of the resistance, so I wouldn't be damaged so much.
Positive beings be like : Hey friend here is some light, it's good and well.
Me : Arrrggg nooooo stop you're killing me from within.
RE: Into the Void - Aion - 06-05-2015
(06-05-2015, 12:16 AM)Splash Wrote:
The first reply I will make is that it would feel respectful if you thanked me for my offer of Usui Reiki and then explained/requested your "two conditions"...
(I say this because I wasn't asking for you to "agree" to a Reiki - but only offering it to you - as a possibility...
nb: 'permission' /'freewill' is essential in Reiki, (the Energy can not be sent/received without the recipients permission).
"A. Tell me what its like."
A. Individual for each recipient.
LIGHT.
LOVE.
Safe.
What you most need at that moment in time.
Unique communication between you and 'Universal Life Force Energy' (which I am but the channel for). (Though my additional separate skill in clairvoyance augments my Reiki 'treatments'.)
"And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind."
B. I am not allowed to - it is a sacred Initiation passed down over several thousand years... recently rediscovered in Japan in the late 1800's.
I am bound to secrecy about my Initiation and as to how I channel the Reiki. This is for protection of the purity of the LIGHT/Universal Life Force involved/embodied.
However, as said previously - it can not be forced onto/into any being.
It is absolute goodness... absolute LIGHT.... so it can only be positive or neutral.
Reiki has no capacity to force itself onto a recipient - nor would Reiki want to.
addendum:
Some possible 'reactions' : laughter, feeling warm, sleepiness. feeling nothing, feeling 'quiet and calm', slight agitation (which would be transmitted to me and I would (possibly) 'automatically' stop sending), feeling indescribable joy, peace, feeling sad (in a healing way), tears, having energy to do things, discomfort in the area of problem followed by heat there and then feeling better... feeling nothing... but then sleeping very well that evening.. reduction in appetite - or increase in appetite...etc
:idea: it's a dialogue and energetic exchange/conversation between Your 'mind/body soul complex' and 'Universal Life Force Energy'... so each time will be a private and unique conversation between you - (I am the just the 'conduit'.. the 'facilitator')
nb: 'Faith' is not required..
any questions?
(06-04-2015, 11:08 AM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: Its Hard to say what the problem is. I'd call it depression or emotional loneliness?
Its a weird question. Why do I desire to be alone when others make me feel lonely?
Splash, I'll agree to a reiki working on two conditions, A. Tell me what its like. And B. Explain how you perform it mentally in your mind. Its the process that makes my mind roll into gear and lock into place reconfigurations of any kind offered to me. Otherwise i find that the faith aspect alone while enough, leaves me thirsty for Comprehension.. Reiki is one of my spiritual desires i want to pick up~
Let me know please
I'm pretty passionate about... Well. Basically just the Law of One. I can agree with you on the descriptory emotions though. Although i experienced an emotion I'd liken to 'Positivity' during my work.
Now a days i feel like i don't look inwards into the right places haha
I'm sorry, but I have to question this. Why or how do you protect the purity of something which is incapable of impure or non-positive things? What exactly are you protecting it from if it is the highest light and good?
RE: Into the Void - Aion - 06-05-2015
(06-05-2015, 02:25 PM)Minyatur Wrote:(06-05-2015, 01:54 PM)Tan.rar Wrote:(06-05-2015, 01:32 PM)Minyatur Wrote: I've thought about going for a Reiki treatment but I feel like it would destroy my soul.
LOL!
Actually the practicionner would probably stop almost immediately because of the resistance, so I wouldn't be damaged so much.
Positive beings be like : Hey friend here is some light, it's good and well.
Me : Arrrggg nooooo stop you're killing me from within.
Try me.
RE: Into the Void - Parsons - 06-05-2015
(06-04-2015, 06:36 AM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: I sometimes wish I could just go into the wilderness, and live out there with one other person... Or alone. It's hard to say anymore because I no longer actually want that.
I can't recommend this highly enough: you should watch Into the Wild. Not just for the obvious reason of your former desire to live out in the wilderness.
RE: Into the Void - Parsons - 06-05-2015
I feel compelled to respond fully to the OP. This is as much for myself as it is for you.
I see a great many parallels to my own life and my awakening in the description of your current state of being. For instance, I too went through a stage where I did not see any point in life and was extremely depressed and suicidal. When I first awoke in the summer of 2011, I thought I had conquered my depression but I realized later that I had not. I was extremely emotionally wounded whether I noticed it or acknowledged it consciously. I did not heal myself until the first half of 2013. Its difficult for me to explain how that happened other than to say I no longer depend on the circumstances of catalyst to dictate whether I am happy or not. At this point, I am no longer depressed but now suffer from anxiety / panic attacks (although I have progressed quite a bit lately) and am experiencing physical issues.
A few specific parallels: I was obsessed with the idea of living in a post-apocalyptic society (especially zombies) since I was a teenager. I loved almost all media relating to that. I would very frequently have dreams where I was fighting off zombies in the apocalypse. I realized later (for me at least) the zombies represented most of society that constantly tried to force their own ignorant ideals and insecurities on me. However, most do so through well intentioned slavery. Since then, the zombie dreams have stopped and I no longer feel drawn to post-apocalyptia. I even used to love Nine Inch Nails. I like them now but no longer relate to the music (with the exception of Right Where it Belongs). I have noticed I enjoy depressing music when I am depressed.
I said this post was a much for myself as it was for you because I believe in accepting and integrating all experience. It has not been a very long time since I was depressed and wounded, so when I read something like this my knee jerk reaction is to try to run from it (from myself). I still need to do quite a bit of integration work. So you are being an extremely valuable mirror for me at the moment. I thank you and hope you find the will to heal yourself.
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-05-2015
briefly (to VAS) .. I didn't mean you had to thank me for my offer... not at all
you could have then ignored me for the rest of the thread.. (for example..) and that would have been fine
it's that you responded without thanks but with directives as to my offer and the service/s within my offer...
I have only just woken here in Aus and skimmed a little bit of the rest since I left this thread.. will catch up after breakfast
nb: Tan...good question
- the purity of actual 'Reiki' (by definition) can't be altered... what I refer to is what isn't Usui Reiki - but is being presented as such. Human egos come into play ...(For example: I know of a quite famous Usui Reiki master (in a direct lineage to Hawayo Takata and Mikao Usui)... who fell out with her own Usui Reiki Master during her training and didn't receive the final initiation to become master - yet this person has set up a worldwide practice and 'initiates' other people all the time - who unfortunately don't become initiated fully/properly because she herself - has only partial initiation...
The secrecy/privacy is also in place to preserve respect and indicate the sacredness - there are cultural precursors to this - that come from the Japanese mindset in which Mikao Usui re-discovered Reiki.
This is also what is behind the $ payment ... that the practitioner/channel should be paid for their time (as any other worker is) - and that people usually value something more if they pay for it.
Not that money exchange is needed... but respect and gratitude is.
Usually I don't go around offering free Reiki willy nilly.... because of this precept... but was moved sufficiently by VAS's pain to offer
VAS doesn't need to be grateful or interested at all though (but preferably not be 'bossy' about my offer either
)gotta haz my coffee now
RE: Into the Void - VanAlioSaldo - 06-06-2015
I understand. I'm sorry Splash, I truly mean no disrespect. There's a trait I can work on, offering passively, respect.
I am trying, Parsons, to just make sense of my life through myself like i always should have. I hope i heal up.. I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life. Or feeling like this. Or acting the way i have been.
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-06-2015
(06-05-2015, 02:27 PM)Tan.rar Wrote:(06-05-2015, 02:25 PM)Minyatur Wrote:(06-05-2015, 01:54 PM)Tan.rar Wrote:(06-05-2015, 01:32 PM)Minyatur Wrote: I've thought about going for a Reiki treatment but I feel like it would destroy my soul.
LOL!
Actually the practicionner would probably stop almost immediately because of the resistance, so I wouldn't be damaged so much.
Positive beings be like : Hey friend here is some light, it's good and well.
Me : Arrrggg nooooo stop you're killing me from within.
Try me.
What would you do?
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-06-2015
@splash Why can't the energy be sent without permission?
RE: Into the Void - wanderer1981 - 06-06-2015
Hello Vas. You opened a subject of pain. My opinion, basically is that you are feeling the effect of the recent full moon, which means too much in your heart for this world and besides no body notices and you also dont know where to hide your expanding heart for not to be hurt.
I would not call it void, instead picture yourself as a loner wolf with a treasured amount of feelings, which at the end is going to be a great thing, at least for your self. Feelings are showing you that you have an option, open doors or going into that not returning void.
I will not suggest you the second path.
As I said, picture yourself as a loner wolf, this will provided strenght. The wolf is a loner with a lot of passion. Think about it.
At some point you will find the way of release of those emotions, if you ask you will find answers, just be patient.
Love and light.
RE: Into the Void - wanderer1981 - 06-06-2015
Splash, does reiki help to keep the feelings in the heart instead to be disequilibrated and become tears?
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-06-2015
Permission is to ensure free will for the recipient. To allow the person to agree to or decline. Each entity's life force is their domain, their sovereign self...
This permission can be sought directly through asking the person; or if they aren't with you or aren't contactable, the first stage of opening to channel Reiki to them involves asking permission energetically of their Higher Self.
You will hear a Yes or a No...
(if it's a "No" - an energetic connection can't be made.)
However it's rare that a Higher Self rejects the offer of Light/Love
It's important also to let people know about what you can offer... and leave it there.. you wouldn't repeatedly offer to people.. that's imposing... people need to seek their healing (usually).. in a situation of clear distress I offer.. other wise I mostly respond only when asked...
I've learnt the hard way that people often won't respect what's freely given..
even if they show thanks.. they may not address the issue/s that cause the dis/ease and present to you again with the same problem
- self inflicted...
we need to take responsibility for our healing...
RE: Into the Void - Minyatur - 06-06-2015
Rather than not respect what is freely given, are not the issues running deeper than you would think?
You can't magically heal someone, you can give the right tools for the healing to be done which takes time, quite a lot of time. Like multiple incarnations in addition to much work non-incarnated.
Some people can have not much to heal while others have much to work on.
For someone with a lot of darkness within, the tools could easily be drowned in their own darkness.
RE: Into the Void - Splash - 06-06-2015
Reiki will have an energetic 'conversation' interaction with your mind/body/spirit complex - Higher Self... and what occurs will be what is needed to occur... (for example if there is strong fear... there would likely be a lessening of fear)... but it's individual every single time... I don't control it... it's a interaction between you and Universal Life Force... but there's nothing frightening about it.. because "You" are in control of the conversation/interaction...
When a mother picks up a crying baby and instantly it feels safe.. or when cold and aching we slide into a hot bath.. these are similar examples of what it's like... though I said earlier that sometimes it can happen that a person doesn't feel much at all... but it might be weeks later that something subtly shifts for them...
there's no invasiveness, no forcing, no agenda and no 'will' ... and it's not about me... as said earlier.. I'm the conduit... it comes in through my crown chakra, fills me completely (so in giving - I receive - first and foremost) and then continues to flow through my palm chakras into the recipient - or if I'm sending over distance into the 'proxy' (ie: pillow/cushion etc)
(06-06-2015, 09:54 AM)wanderer1981 Wrote: Splash, does reiki help to keep the feelings in the heart instead to be disequilibrated and become tears?