(11-24-2012, 09:50 PM)Oceania Wrote: i'm just concerned the lower three are not open enough but i could be wrong. have you tried working on closing all your chakras to a lesser flow? it seems you have such strong energy currents or something.

do you find something you are doing now is helping? is it helping now that you avoid all that stuff?

(11-23-2012, 05:01 PM)W1981 Wrote: I tried strengthening my communication with guidance, higher self, creator, whatever label seems best. Truth is, I cannot hear any of them or if I do the answer I get seems to be "Go forward, backwards, left and right", so I chose to stay where I am. At this moment I feel that the only thing I want to do is be a passive observer of my life, not because I'm tired and sick of it not making any sense, but because I feel any choice i make will just drop me further into the void. A lot of the time I just imagine myself pointing the middle fingure high up to all the guidance watching over me to simply state that their way of guiding feels cruel.

I should say that meditation, contemplation and anything related don't seem to have the same effects on me that most here report. It might be that my ego is too strong and holding hands with what some would call high intellect. So, I'm trying looking inside and there's too much noise outside or I'm trying to figure it out through dreams but (after several months of trying to understand symbolism) they just don't make sense, so I record them but I avoid trying to explain them cause I just get let down, either because I end up feeling incompetent or completely disconnected. In the meantime, i understand that there are people out there with problems far surpassing mine, but given the fact i am the centre of my universe the only problems I can really, trully identify with are my own.

Thoughts?

(11-25-2012, 01:09 AM)plenum Wrote:

(11-23-2012, 05:01 PM)W1981 Wrote: I tried strengthening my communication with guidance, higher self, creator, whatever label seems best. Truth is, I cannot hear any of them or if I do the answer I get seems to be "Go forward, backwards, left and right", so I chose to stay where I am. At this moment I feel that the only thing I want to do is be a passive observer of my life, not because I'm tired and sick of it not making any sense, but because I feel any choice i make will just drop me further into the void. A lot of the time I just imagine myself pointing the middle fingure high up to all the guidance watching over me to simply state that their way of guiding feels cruel.

I should say that meditation, contemplation and anything related don't seem to have the same effects on me that most here report. It might be that my ego is too strong and holding hands with what some would call high intellect. So, I'm trying looking inside and there's too much noise outside or I'm trying to figure it out through dreams but (after several months of trying to understand symbolism) they just don't make sense, so I record them but I avoid trying to explain them cause I just get let down, either because I end up feeling incompetent or completely disconnected. In the meantime, i understand that there are people out there with problems far surpassing mine, but given the fact i am the centre of my universe the only problems I can really, trully identify with are my own.

Thoughts?

thanks for being so honest OP.

I commiserate with you. I've been in that situation, where one choice seems to lead you into a box, a very dark box, and there's no seeming way to get out.

all the old tools that you had used quite effectively to that point then become ineffective and blunt. They just worsen things.

there's no easy out. all I can offer is this. ask yourself:

if I could see one star in the whole universe, and only one, what would it look like? what would it represent? what qualities would it have?

at first, you will just recycle old answers, old inspirations. Then you will find new ones, but they don't seem to fit quite exactly, they're almost there but not quite.

then when you find that one quality, that one thing that you would want in the whole universe, you will make the life changes necessary to get to that point. It may take months, even years, but you will start moving in that direction.

you have my sympathies friend

plenum

L/L Research Session "2006_0507" Wrote:No matter how deeply you attempt to bury your faculty of judgment, you as a human being are all about judgment. It is a judgment that is carefully
created as a kind of instinct within consciousness which propels you forward in a metaphysical sense. As you form opinions and make choices, consciousness, which has links in the inner planes and throughout the universe, creates a reverberating sounding board which bounces your decisions, your choices, and your judgments back to you for review.
Until you begin to grasp the power and the responsiveness of this system, you may well experience a wide range of catalyst. As you become
more skilled at realizing the dynamics of the natural system in which you are involved, energetically speaking, you will begin to realize that there are
attitudinal choices that you can make that create within your experience much more of a feeling of participation in the process of experiencing catalyst and choosing to respond to it. Until you grasp just how powerful a being you are as one possessing consciousness, you will be completely
at the mercy of catalyst. Conversely, once you grasp the rules of this game of incarnation you are playing and begin to apply the rules of the game, which are relatively simple, you may well find yourself in a process of transformation...

(11-25-2012, 12:29 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I think my wishes would have defied the laws of nature so I don't think they were possible anyway. I've had hallucinations in the past, but nothing that I could touch, only visual and auditory.

(11-25-2012, 12:31 PM)rie Wrote: Sensory hallucinations are not common but they do happen.

GeminiWolf, did you need these identities (wanderer, anthro) to serve you in some way?

(11-25-2012, 12:37 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: Maybe to teach me about obsession and attachment.

(11-25-2012, 01:22 PM)rie Wrote:

(11-25-2012, 12:37 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: Maybe to teach me about obsession and attachment.

Maybe you have this internal switch that when pushed, it starts reminding you of some 'morality' stuff that isn't working for you. Where did you learn that these obsessions and attachments were disgusting? That sounds like more your socialized sense of morality. Are you struggling with acceptance of that part of yourself that obsessed/attached to things, and that part of you that feels this is disgusting/bad?

(11-25-2012, 01:46 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I don't have problems accepting myself. I just know that if my fantasies were to materialize I'd probably vomit. That's not saying much since even energy coming in can make me do that.