11-15-2009, 12:18 PM
Greeting all! I just found this forum from a link on the "Law of One" website. Who new? 
I wanted to share my story of "awakening". Before I share it though, I want to make it 100% clear that the use of drugs to achieve "enlightenment" is a selfish act, and it will not serve you. Inspiration to discover the truth must only come from within.
I originally posted my story (testimony) in "The hip forums" about a year and a half ago, and it can be found here:
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showt...9718&f=117
This forum looks like a better place for me to share my experience. When I first wrote about this experience 20 years after the event my goal was to not tell a "story" but to give my testimony. When I read it today it comes across as "romantic". I could have written it in much greater scientific detail, but I believe(d) the the thurst of the experience would be lost if I included to many details. There is no point in re-writting it, so I will cross-post it instead.
-----
It’s been over 20 years now. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long, yet it is something that I still think about almost every day.
I was 17 years old. It started in Omaha Ne, the summer of 1987. My friend “M” had his eyes on a new girlfriend. Her name was Cindy. The problem between “M” and I was that this was Cindy # 3 since the start of school last September. Cindy 1 and 2 ended up wanting to be with me, even though M did the leg work. I couldn’t help it though, it was out of my control, and M knew it and didn’t blame me, but DAMN IT.
M and I, and our friends were always game for dropping acid. I thought of acid as a nothing more than a party drug.
M told me that his new friend Cindy was from Fremont, and she new a guy there that had or made some really good acid. M arranged to go to Fremont with Cindy, and he invited me to go with him on the condition that I would not cock block him again. M and I always did well together when chasing the girls, despite the recent Cindy phenomenon. I agreed, and off we went.
Somehow the seating arrangement on the way to Fremont had me in the back seat with Cindy. M was riding shotgun. Inexplicitly and right on queue, I immediately started hitting it off with her. M was not pleased, and he started giving me the stink eye. I couldn’t help it though. It wasn’t me. Cindy was making her own choices, and I wasn’t pushing her, it was just happening that way. To make matters worse, I really liked Cindy, and it would be hard for me to let go because we had already begun to bond. I would nonetheless honor my commitment to M. Cindy was off limits.
When we got to Fremont it was getting dark. We got dropped off at the local convenience store, and soon picked up by the guy who had the acid. He was much older than us, an adult. M and I got in the back seat, and Cindy rode up front. We got to the guy’s house, and he and Cindy went inside. M and I waited in the back seat, and we again went over the fact that I wasn’t to cock block him.
They came out of the house and got back in the car. The guy started telling us about the acid. He told us that it was fresh, made that day. It was called “Rubik’s Cube” it was blotter. He also said that it went on the sheet thick in some spots, and that he wasn’t sure how much acid he was giving us, and as such would be a responsible “guide” and stick with us on our journey, as to keep us out of trouble.
No problem. M and I bought 2 hits each. M took them both, I myself was more cautious only taking one being a little spooked by the “thicker in some parts” speech. Our guide and Cindy weren’t dropping. They would take care of us. We smoked a bowl or two of weed in the car and off we went.
I wasn’t on any kind of vision quest when we dropped. I was just a teenager looking for a good time, but what transpired next has changed me forever.
My trip started off as per usual. Trails, laughing, and the on rush of what was to come. I waited anxiously for the trippy things I would see and feel. We smoked some more weed. Our guide started driving us in a loop, into and out of town as we waited for the acid to take full effect. He put his ZZ-Top tape in, and it played on a loop for the duration of the night.
So there we were, smoking weed, listening to ZZ-Top “la Grange” over and over, and then driving in and out of town, going from the “LIGHT” to the dark in an endless cycle.
Before I knew it I was tripping really hard. I began asking myself a question. I’m not sure what this “divine” question was exactly, but I was asking myself this question over and over in chorus with riding in and out of the dark. When we would ride into the dark, I was fearful. I’m not sure if our Guide ever actually spoke, but it was as if he was saying to me “We are going into the dark, do you choose this dark path? Only you can choose the path to the Light. The decision is yours, Dark or Light?” The dark way was empty, void of anything. The Light way was Truth, Love, and the connection to everything that binds everyone and everything together as one.
As I sat there in the back of the car, I lost my connection to my body. I couldn’t feel my body in the same way as normal. I had a different center. I could not tell what my hands were doing. I had the sensation that I was… touching myself inappropriately. I had to sit on my hands to ensure that they weren’t doing anything that they ought not to be doing, and I felt very embarrassed. I then had the sensation of crying uncontrollably. I felt the strong emotions related to crying complete with uncontrollable Alligator tears, yet my face was dry.
From time to time we would stop in town at the convenience store. This at first seemed to be a reprieve from my current condition… choice between Light and Dark, but it wasn’t to be. I was loosing track of myself. At times I would slip into another world, and spoke words in another language that I do not know. I would then suddenly “return” not knowing what I had just said, or what actions I had just taken. I asked M, “What did I just say?, What did I just say!!?” He didn’t know. “I don’t know, it sounds like you are talking backwards.”, he said. “It’s just the acid”.
Back into the car we went. Back into the cycle of light and dark, zz-top, crying, and now the added freak show of speaking in tongues that I do not understand. The reality that I was destined for the dark was becoming all to convincing, and I pondered the Question in an absolute panic to save my own soul when WHAM, the Love and Truth of the Light overwhelmed me. I had answered the riddle. I basked in the glory of the Light of Love for everyone, and everything. The Light of Truth and Love shined on me proudly, and at that moment I knew everything that there is to know. The truth of us all, and of the love that connects everything in the Universe. The Light was proud of me, and so was Cindy who was also in the Light. She looked at me and smiled. She was as proud of me as the Light was, and I loved her for it. She, the Light, I and everything were One. We were the “Only One”.
We got back into the car and somehow I forgot the answer to the question. It put me in a panic. I knew that I didn’t want to go back into the dark, but that it would be my destiny if I couldn’t solve the riddle.
While I pondered the question I learned that we are all One. “THE ONE”. We are on the Journey of the One. All of creation in the universe, and all of time in all places is one thing. One beautiful “One” and it was me, I was everything, and everything was me.
Despite the revelation I continued to go into and out of the dark. I would answer the question and see the love, joy and bliss with everything in the Light, then back to the darkness of ignorance. I did this over and over, back and forth.
Finally the Light said to me “Thank you for coming, don’t forget I love you. Don’t forget the lesson you have learned. Take heed as I have shown you the true path to me, don’t let the dark be your destiny, you now know the way, and we will meet again. Always believe in the sacred Love and Truth, and practice Goodness in your life, and you will find me easily.”
Morning came and the trip was over. That was that.
M, our guide, Cindy and I started back to Omaha to drop M and I off home. I was speechless on the way home. I had so many questions. How could this be? Who else knows the Truth? What do I do now that I know that life is an illusion?
I never saw Cindy again after that night. M and I drifted apart, yet that night will live with me forever. I will never forget it.
I wanted to share my story of "awakening". Before I share it though, I want to make it 100% clear that the use of drugs to achieve "enlightenment" is a selfish act, and it will not serve you. Inspiration to discover the truth must only come from within.
I originally posted my story (testimony) in "The hip forums" about a year and a half ago, and it can be found here:
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showt...9718&f=117
This forum looks like a better place for me to share my experience. When I first wrote about this experience 20 years after the event my goal was to not tell a "story" but to give my testimony. When I read it today it comes across as "romantic". I could have written it in much greater scientific detail, but I believe(d) the the thurst of the experience would be lost if I included to many details. There is no point in re-writting it, so I will cross-post it instead.
-----
It’s been over 20 years now. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long, yet it is something that I still think about almost every day.
I was 17 years old. It started in Omaha Ne, the summer of 1987. My friend “M” had his eyes on a new girlfriend. Her name was Cindy. The problem between “M” and I was that this was Cindy # 3 since the start of school last September. Cindy 1 and 2 ended up wanting to be with me, even though M did the leg work. I couldn’t help it though, it was out of my control, and M knew it and didn’t blame me, but DAMN IT.
M and I, and our friends were always game for dropping acid. I thought of acid as a nothing more than a party drug.
M told me that his new friend Cindy was from Fremont, and she new a guy there that had or made some really good acid. M arranged to go to Fremont with Cindy, and he invited me to go with him on the condition that I would not cock block him again. M and I always did well together when chasing the girls, despite the recent Cindy phenomenon. I agreed, and off we went.
Somehow the seating arrangement on the way to Fremont had me in the back seat with Cindy. M was riding shotgun. Inexplicitly and right on queue, I immediately started hitting it off with her. M was not pleased, and he started giving me the stink eye. I couldn’t help it though. It wasn’t me. Cindy was making her own choices, and I wasn’t pushing her, it was just happening that way. To make matters worse, I really liked Cindy, and it would be hard for me to let go because we had already begun to bond. I would nonetheless honor my commitment to M. Cindy was off limits.
When we got to Fremont it was getting dark. We got dropped off at the local convenience store, and soon picked up by the guy who had the acid. He was much older than us, an adult. M and I got in the back seat, and Cindy rode up front. We got to the guy’s house, and he and Cindy went inside. M and I waited in the back seat, and we again went over the fact that I wasn’t to cock block him.
They came out of the house and got back in the car. The guy started telling us about the acid. He told us that it was fresh, made that day. It was called “Rubik’s Cube” it was blotter. He also said that it went on the sheet thick in some spots, and that he wasn’t sure how much acid he was giving us, and as such would be a responsible “guide” and stick with us on our journey, as to keep us out of trouble.
No problem. M and I bought 2 hits each. M took them both, I myself was more cautious only taking one being a little spooked by the “thicker in some parts” speech. Our guide and Cindy weren’t dropping. They would take care of us. We smoked a bowl or two of weed in the car and off we went.
I wasn’t on any kind of vision quest when we dropped. I was just a teenager looking for a good time, but what transpired next has changed me forever.
My trip started off as per usual. Trails, laughing, and the on rush of what was to come. I waited anxiously for the trippy things I would see and feel. We smoked some more weed. Our guide started driving us in a loop, into and out of town as we waited for the acid to take full effect. He put his ZZ-Top tape in, and it played on a loop for the duration of the night.
So there we were, smoking weed, listening to ZZ-Top “la Grange” over and over, and then driving in and out of town, going from the “LIGHT” to the dark in an endless cycle.
Before I knew it I was tripping really hard. I began asking myself a question. I’m not sure what this “divine” question was exactly, but I was asking myself this question over and over in chorus with riding in and out of the dark. When we would ride into the dark, I was fearful. I’m not sure if our Guide ever actually spoke, but it was as if he was saying to me “We are going into the dark, do you choose this dark path? Only you can choose the path to the Light. The decision is yours, Dark or Light?” The dark way was empty, void of anything. The Light way was Truth, Love, and the connection to everything that binds everyone and everything together as one.
As I sat there in the back of the car, I lost my connection to my body. I couldn’t feel my body in the same way as normal. I had a different center. I could not tell what my hands were doing. I had the sensation that I was… touching myself inappropriately. I had to sit on my hands to ensure that they weren’t doing anything that they ought not to be doing, and I felt very embarrassed. I then had the sensation of crying uncontrollably. I felt the strong emotions related to crying complete with uncontrollable Alligator tears, yet my face was dry.
From time to time we would stop in town at the convenience store. This at first seemed to be a reprieve from my current condition… choice between Light and Dark, but it wasn’t to be. I was loosing track of myself. At times I would slip into another world, and spoke words in another language that I do not know. I would then suddenly “return” not knowing what I had just said, or what actions I had just taken. I asked M, “What did I just say?, What did I just say!!?” He didn’t know. “I don’t know, it sounds like you are talking backwards.”, he said. “It’s just the acid”.
Back into the car we went. Back into the cycle of light and dark, zz-top, crying, and now the added freak show of speaking in tongues that I do not understand. The reality that I was destined for the dark was becoming all to convincing, and I pondered the Question in an absolute panic to save my own soul when WHAM, the Love and Truth of the Light overwhelmed me. I had answered the riddle. I basked in the glory of the Light of Love for everyone, and everything. The Light of Truth and Love shined on me proudly, and at that moment I knew everything that there is to know. The truth of us all, and of the love that connects everything in the Universe. The Light was proud of me, and so was Cindy who was also in the Light. She looked at me and smiled. She was as proud of me as the Light was, and I loved her for it. She, the Light, I and everything were One. We were the “Only One”.
We got back into the car and somehow I forgot the answer to the question. It put me in a panic. I knew that I didn’t want to go back into the dark, but that it would be my destiny if I couldn’t solve the riddle.
While I pondered the question I learned that we are all One. “THE ONE”. We are on the Journey of the One. All of creation in the universe, and all of time in all places is one thing. One beautiful “One” and it was me, I was everything, and everything was me.
Despite the revelation I continued to go into and out of the dark. I would answer the question and see the love, joy and bliss with everything in the Light, then back to the darkness of ignorance. I did this over and over, back and forth.
Finally the Light said to me “Thank you for coming, don’t forget I love you. Don’t forget the lesson you have learned. Take heed as I have shown you the true path to me, don’t let the dark be your destiny, you now know the way, and we will meet again. Always believe in the sacred Love and Truth, and practice Goodness in your life, and you will find me easily.”
Morning came and the trip was over. That was that.
M, our guide, Cindy and I started back to Omaha to drop M and I off home. I was speechless on the way home. I had so many questions. How could this be? Who else knows the Truth? What do I do now that I know that life is an illusion?
I never saw Cindy again after that night. M and I drifted apart, yet that night will live with me forever. I will never forget it.
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