Asking Ra for help

[xise]

I don't have a strong desire to depart. I'm just tired here, and curious about the other side. The other day I did pray to depart, but I didn't put a lot of effort into the prayer.

I don't think it's from a feeling of unworthiness. I see much worth in myself. It's just that if I were to pass on, I wouldn't mind.

I think a big part of the red ray is finding reasons to love life.

Do you ever go to furry conventions? I hear those can be a lot of fun!

[AnthroHeart]

Yeah, I've been to a furry convention before. It's so far away though.

[sdrawkcab]

I'm very tired here as well, and seeking something new, so...I'll find something new here. Your confusion and hurt seems to stem from a lack of self confidence. Either you can find it within yourself, or something has to manifest it in you, but you need to love yourself, accept yourself, be happy with who you are and understand the power you have within yourself to create change; to change the lives of others (positively if you choose), and to change your own life. Do not look to Ra, or any other external source for help. Do you not understand Gemini Wolf, you are a part of the creator. You are a part of this whole thing. You are important and you can help others who may be like you, or others who may not be like you

Learn to accept and Love yourself Gemini. I don't even know you, but I like you. You are a part of this Universe, and strangely enough, the Universe is also a part of you. Love your body, and yourself. Exercise, run, lift weights, go in the park and do calisthenics exercises in nature. Walk, talk to the Earth, and the plants and the animals. Eat healthily, give your body rest when it needs rest. Meet other people, try to help other people in ways you can. Understand that you cannot help everyone and you will not always be able to help the people you want, in the way you, or they want - but try when you can. This world...this society is a hard place to live in, especially if money isn't in abundance, but try to make the best of it while you're here. Do not give up on yourself Gemini.

And, if you feel you have to isolate yourself from it for a while to become better, maybe consider joining a monastery, perhaps a Buddhist one? But, learn to accept and Love yourself.

If you leave this world, I will miss you, and I am sure some others will. But, you are free to do that as well. But, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to learn, and to grow. And teach yourself, grow yourself. Become a kinder, wiser, better, stronger, humbler you. And do not rely on Ra or any other to do so. You may be here to help learn and understand that; self-growth catalysed by self-will and self-love.

All the best to you my brother. You will not be happy everyday, no one will. Some days will be a lot harder than others, from now until Infinity, but all the best to you my brother.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you sdrawkcab. I do feel that I love myself. But I'm endlessly curious about what comes next. That was why I asked Ra for help. I don't feel so anxious now. I feel love of everyone.

Joining a monastery is not really practical for me. I have to work to take care of my dogs and my mom. I usually don't give up on myself, although I've wanted to depart in the past. Last time I focused on dying I ended up with a back ache the next 3 days, and couldn't bend over. So I can manifest sickness in my body as easily as focusing on health.

Yeah, money isn't really in abundance for me. It costs over $100 to see my psychiatrist, and that's with insurance. Haven't met my deductible yet.

I appreciate your comments. I've learned not to rely too much on Ra or other spiritual beings. But I do like to tune into my own higher self. My Light Being. I did receive some help from the one whom I will meet after I die. It felt all warm, though the feeling of love wasn't all there.

My main goal is to feel love strongly in my heart again. Like I did before. I thought higher beings could help me do that, but perhaps they're protecting me from that overwhelming sensation. I couldn't function when I felt such love because of feelings of unworthiness. I've felt unworthy twice in my life due to the love I felt. One person whom I thought was Jesus actually washed my feet. I gave him a hug and cried.

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I think a big part of the red ray is finding reasons to love life.

Do you ever go to furry conventions? I hear those can be a lot of fun!

I watch furry videos, and they are just as encouraging to me as a furry convention. I keep several on my phone, and watch them almost daily.

[xise]

Thank you sdrawkcab. I do feel that I love myself. But I'm endlessly curious about what comes next. That was why I asked Ra for help. I don't feel so anxious now. I feel love of everyone.

Feelings vary over the month, vary on astrology, and also vary based on sub-conscious reassertion of suppression mechanisms that we used most of our life.

It's best to start recording, in a methodical and very self-honest way, how often you have feelings of not loving life/self/your future (all lower rays).

The reason I mention it is that your posts display and up and down pattern of not loving life and not loving yourself. Just notice the posts you make, over the course of the past month, and in previous months - many of them are made in much pain, brother. I think you will see that if you read all your posts over the course of these months with great honesty.

I'm sure you feel ok and feel love on a given particular day, but I think how often you feel down is worthy of honest self-reflection. My journey went from one down day a week two years ago to maybe one down day every two-three months these days. Tracking these days has been immensely helpful in objectively noticing my own progress. Best of luck my friend.

[AnthroHeart]

You make good points xise. Till now it's seemed like I've had more down days than up days. I didn't realize that astrology had an effect. When I read life after death books, they should be encouraging. But they make me want to experience that afterlife. That's when I felt down.

I'm sort of in a neutral point right now. I feel loving, but not blissful. I don't think I've ever felt true bliss in my life. But I've been excited. Thank you for wishing me luck.

[isis]

You make good points xise. Till now it's seemed like I've had more down days than up days. I didn't realize that astrology had an effect. When I read life after death books, they should be encouraging. But they make me want to experience that afterlife. That's when I felt down.

I'm sort of in a neutral point right now. I feel loving, but not blissful. I don't think I've ever felt true bliss in my life. But I've been excited. Thank you for wishing me luck.

have u ever checked out video of Dannion Brinkley talking about his 3 near death experiences? that guy can make me feel true bliss