12-07-2009, 05:51 PM
Hi Vince and all
This thread (and your other one about your father) really hit home with me. Its not my father that I deal with but my brother. He is highly STS and he lives next door to me. As much as I think I dont want him this close to me and my family in this life, my parents (who he lives with and who lives next door to me) are the ones that keep supporting his disruptive and destructive behaviors (there is a long story of why they always had problems telling him no). The fights we all have had have been horrid and very blunt sometimes. I see my parents aid in his destruction and him destroying their spirits for the cost. A nasty bought of cause and effect going in circles.
But my path has placed me here, caring for my mom, which keeps her out of a nursing home. So along the way, as much as they influence me with both vibrations of love and strife, I in the end, have learned so much about myself and them.
I know that one day we will stand together, facing our spiritual paths that we took together. I prepare to offer that unaccepting love for him, and hope that he too forgives for the things I do not know I do. But here in the flesh, that is easier said then done. I am defensive of certain behaviors because my kids see such things and I dont like this. They see my parents also help him be a STS person. They then see me upset with them all, but then see me turn around and still love them.
I cant explain why some of us have this in our lives, but it does have purpose. There are times I have had to place distance between my home and theirs, making sure that vibration didnt pour over into our home. It at times has gotten me very very stressed. Was driving me mad for a while I swear.
My brothers worst tool was to use the death of my first brother against my parents...telling them they loved him more (in order to make them feel bad for money or dope or whatever). I guess this went on for years...until this year I caught him in the act and came unglued. I think my two brothers are more related then what my present brother thinks they are. Long story short, my parents had my older brother and me....dad got a vasectomy....we lost my older brother...dad reversed the vasectomy....mom and dad had another son, who was my younger brother. The catalysts that this has brought us are many and some cut very deep.
I think space and distance can be important when having family that you know you will always love, but yet not always be able to tolerate. The force of my situation of brother living next door so far has been a positive thing in the end for me and my family. This took a tole at first, I had to work on my ego development so I could learn to cherish the good and bad. I actually used my psychology course to give myself therapy and learn how to use different tools to deal with this part of my life, I was close to insanity before taking classes. Learning about these behaviors in others helped me, and of course, growing in spirit helped me also. STS behaviors live very much for the life of flesh. It is somewhat natural for some to take on these behaviors in order to adapt and cope themselves.
I think you are a huge part for your father, the possibilities of this are endless really. It could be you both are a part of the same higher self, both coming to offer a catalysts for the other....one being a positive catalysts and one being a negative catalysts. I know its hard sometimes to imagine our lives are meant to be just what they are....but it is this way. You sound like someone who is pretty content with who you are (I think we can think mom for this?) and you sound like you bring balance nicely to the world around you. As much contemplating this kind of life brings, I think your reasons and choices will be sound and valid.
If accepting phone calls is the reach of your relation...that is fine also. What ever you can tolerate without the drama pouring over too much into your world. I know its there, no matter what, it doesnt go away, I know....but keeping your contentment the best you can, shows one thing for your father...contentment, without the pleasures of self and flesh...is possible. You hold possibility, for your father, if he ever looks outside of his box he is in. You show him it is possible, to live a life without so many Earthly attachments for the self, such as alcohol. If your father ever decides to stop escaping, and start facing....he has a foundation with you, his dear son. You could be a light holder for him. He may be a reminder to you why to be more grounded.
Thanks for sharing all that you have...we can learn so much from others...
Love Lynette
This thread (and your other one about your father) really hit home with me. Its not my father that I deal with but my brother. He is highly STS and he lives next door to me. As much as I think I dont want him this close to me and my family in this life, my parents (who he lives with and who lives next door to me) are the ones that keep supporting his disruptive and destructive behaviors (there is a long story of why they always had problems telling him no). The fights we all have had have been horrid and very blunt sometimes. I see my parents aid in his destruction and him destroying their spirits for the cost. A nasty bought of cause and effect going in circles.
But my path has placed me here, caring for my mom, which keeps her out of a nursing home. So along the way, as much as they influence me with both vibrations of love and strife, I in the end, have learned so much about myself and them.
I know that one day we will stand together, facing our spiritual paths that we took together. I prepare to offer that unaccepting love for him, and hope that he too forgives for the things I do not know I do. But here in the flesh, that is easier said then done. I am defensive of certain behaviors because my kids see such things and I dont like this. They see my parents also help him be a STS person. They then see me upset with them all, but then see me turn around and still love them.
I cant explain why some of us have this in our lives, but it does have purpose. There are times I have had to place distance between my home and theirs, making sure that vibration didnt pour over into our home. It at times has gotten me very very stressed. Was driving me mad for a while I swear.
My brothers worst tool was to use the death of my first brother against my parents...telling them they loved him more (in order to make them feel bad for money or dope or whatever). I guess this went on for years...until this year I caught him in the act and came unglued. I think my two brothers are more related then what my present brother thinks they are. Long story short, my parents had my older brother and me....dad got a vasectomy....we lost my older brother...dad reversed the vasectomy....mom and dad had another son, who was my younger brother. The catalysts that this has brought us are many and some cut very deep.
I think space and distance can be important when having family that you know you will always love, but yet not always be able to tolerate. The force of my situation of brother living next door so far has been a positive thing in the end for me and my family. This took a tole at first, I had to work on my ego development so I could learn to cherish the good and bad. I actually used my psychology course to give myself therapy and learn how to use different tools to deal with this part of my life, I was close to insanity before taking classes. Learning about these behaviors in others helped me, and of course, growing in spirit helped me also. STS behaviors live very much for the life of flesh. It is somewhat natural for some to take on these behaviors in order to adapt and cope themselves.
I think you are a huge part for your father, the possibilities of this are endless really. It could be you both are a part of the same higher self, both coming to offer a catalysts for the other....one being a positive catalysts and one being a negative catalysts. I know its hard sometimes to imagine our lives are meant to be just what they are....but it is this way. You sound like someone who is pretty content with who you are (I think we can think mom for this?) and you sound like you bring balance nicely to the world around you. As much contemplating this kind of life brings, I think your reasons and choices will be sound and valid.
If accepting phone calls is the reach of your relation...that is fine also. What ever you can tolerate without the drama pouring over too much into your world. I know its there, no matter what, it doesnt go away, I know....but keeping your contentment the best you can, shows one thing for your father...contentment, without the pleasures of self and flesh...is possible. You hold possibility, for your father, if he ever looks outside of his box he is in. You show him it is possible, to live a life without so many Earthly attachments for the self, such as alcohol. If your father ever decides to stop escaping, and start facing....he has a foundation with you, his dear son. You could be a light holder for him. He may be a reminder to you why to be more grounded.
Thanks for sharing all that you have...we can learn so much from others...
Love Lynette