Making Sense of Obstacles (Catalyst)

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Thanks a lot monica

I have a big issue with trust and saying no. If pple treat me bad i have been afraid to state my point and draw a healthy boundary because i've been afraid they will punish me for telling them that they've hurt me. I've had a hughe codependencypattern, my mother was schizophrenic and my father codependant a pattern he repeated with my jealous stepmother. Even if i have worked the last 20 years on integrating my shadow issues i still get kicked out or walk away myself.

Concerning these 3 freinds of mine they all have a "boundless" behaviour and if i tell someone i don't feel respected or mistreated when she's never in time and the person doesn't even admit the problem exists or after a misunderstanding just cuts off contact for over a week although we have common projects like arranging that persons birthdayparty where i'm in charge of the keys for the place, i feel there's a lack of respect and that maybe i should have distanced myself earlier from those persons if they cannot even admit that they have a part in what happened.

I always try to see my part in a conflict but i'm not prepared to continue like "nothing happened" anymore.

There are some very positive things happening at the same time and as soon as i think of the KangenWater i feel possibilities opening up, but i am afraid to try again and i'm afraid to succeed because then "something terrible will happen"...but i'm open to a change of that pattern...

...and i never thought that my donationbuttonproblem meant i should not
send Carla any money...

"Good" bless you