Something on My Mind

[airwaves]

It is typical at this time of wanderers and all deeply affected by the increasing vibrational frequencies to break relationships and leave where they are. I have already done this. I left my work, my service to self woman, and am now where I am spiritually able to grow. It may have been a move from and upscale 1/2 million dollar home to a basement suite on poor street, but I'd rather have a whole and loving spirit than a bad relationship and all the money in the world.

I know what you meen! It actually sounds like I am doing just the same thing only flip the money part around (broke as a joke lol). I dont know. I feel no shame in saying that I am definitely in a rut/depression atm. It just feels like everytime that I press on the accelerator too hard I start spinning my wheels like I am driving through snow or something. I feel that if I were just left to my own devices, no one around to pester me for this or that, I would be able to regain my health(as if I ever had it lol!), achieve all of my goals, and just be happier for a time until I am ready for my people again. I feel this on a weekly basis and have for a very very very long time. So it cant me a lie right? So why cant I escape? Why cant people see what they do to me? Why cant they just feel some compassion? For the longest time I locked myself behind this great wall and didnt feel anything even though I really still wanted to help people(i can never escape that). And now that I finally have the ability to feel and have emotions I find myself in a lot of pain. The deep emotional kind that just doessnt stop. Maybe its all of those bottles of the deep emotional pain that I had stored away finally coming out(used to bottle everything up)? It makes me miss the numbness behind the wall. The thick rino skin(lol Ali). Its hard for me, as an aquarius, to feel anything at all. It took a long time to get where I am at. And for what? More hurt? So is it not right to finally do something for myself? I have spent so much time helping others that I have been thoroughly neglected in almost every way that a human can be. Is it not safe to say that I have finally earned the right to work on my own life and say to heck with everyone else for at least a little while, no matter how hard that may be??

I really feel that finally doing myself right is the way to go, but at the same time I just cant neglect the needs of others that easily. Maybe I can find a place to do charity work. I always enjoyed tutoring at the college to.

I just dont know......

:idea: Do you guys think I am crazy?