Life, Drugs and self-destruction

[unity100]

This is one of the biggest issues of my life, and I've never seen anybody from this crowd ever refer to it.

Can you imagine that I am totally familiar with the LOO, the higher self, the color ray work, I can meditate, feel my energies, feel my purpose, I haven't fully broken the veil but I like to think I'm getting there, I know about the system, the unseen hand that feeds me these substance I consume, the unseen hand that layed out these structures in which I live, I know about all that good stuff, I've known about it for years, and yet..

I CAN'T stop self-destructing, I'v been a drug addict for as long as I can remember, I've been addicted to marijuana, opiates/heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, and I've experimented with every drug ever, even going as far as injecting drugs into my veins just to NOT feel any pain

is it possible that the drug usage is providing you with various energies, emotions and sensations you are craving ?

have you tried to replace them with any other thing, in order to receive those energies/sensations ?

you dont have to let go of the sensations you desire. you need to receive those sensations in a sustainable way that will not destroy your body or your life.

arent there any other thing that gives you similar sensations, even if a very, very small amount ?