"You create your reality"

[Mahakali]

While I agree with pretty much everything you wrote, I'm not sure if you seek to look at the STS path with a look on the simple truth of it like you do on the rest. If you really consider your situation as desperate, then understand that the STS path only offer rejection of yourself and will create further needs of healing.

It's a path where you regret it all before accepting it all, so you can't say you inherently find it all well because you don't, but yeah you will come to understand and forgive yourself because you are all things and all things can be understood. Once understanding is found, forgiveness is inherent because there never really is something to forgive.

Maybe. I don't know. Again, maybe what I'm referring to as "black magick" isn't exactly what you're referring to. There is little need for damage - to myself or other-selves - during the alchemical process I'm trying to achieve.

Basically, I want to develop contact with intelligent infinity, and, from there, learn and absorb patterns to use in my own creations before separating.

I am actually quite, quite familiar with black magic in the way you express it. I know of the bottom of the pit, the black hole as it might be put. The 'isolate psyche-centric reality' is surely an attainable goal, perhaps in some ways desirable. However, in the Void where anything is everything and you are master of all possibilities I found still mystery.

I think it is amusing and admittedly somewhat confused to tote the idea of oneness while also trying to progress the idea of a self isolate universe that is separate from all.

And what do you think is the best way to go about attaining this goal?

The concept of oneness is useful in the sense of operating within this illusion for the purpose of healing negative and damaging distortions to the physical body complex and such, as well as working within this illusion to prolong my life within it while I develop myself spiritually.

I've been tortured extensively by negative entities in an attempt to get me to develop brain cancer and such, and I need to be able to perceive no difference between myself and the distortion in question in order to alter it to my liking and get myself to survive long enough to generate the spiritual, intellectual, and emotional distortions that would lead to a desirable afterlife, or extend this one, or whatever the case may be. This is where the concept of one-ness becomes useful.