"You create your reality"

[sjel]

This is a subject I am constantly thinking about this year and one that I find particularly interesting. What's really hard for me is to constantly realise that when I want something, I want this one particular thing. That means every other things manifest as distractions or distortions from the wanted to the unwanted and therefore there are infinite more things that I do not want and since the balance between wanted/unwanted is greatly going toward the not wanted my mind is spending much more time balancing the not wanted into acceptance and love and trying not to think about what is undesirable.

In the end it's all time lost not focusing on the what is wanted because I'm surrounded by the not wanted and that creates so much resistance it's somewhat depressing at times. Sometimes I feel just cornered and imprisoned by the amount of unwanted surrounding me. I don't know how much time it takes to shift things back but I cannot move forward without constantly dealing with all the resistance the unwanted distorts into my focus. A really complicated thing to master as simple as it seems to simply focus on the positive. But I do think I'm getting more and more able to not manifest negative by not focusing on trying not to make it happen(hope that's not confusing). The opposite is so much harder though. The key is probably patience and setting and remembering positive intentions all the time. Balancing also helps. Eventually your vibration will match.

wow yes this is often what i feel. lately though ive been managing to figure out how literally everything around me is love. so in the trial times ill actually be happiest, because i feel like im "getting work done." but a lot of times i just feel confused.