Karmic difference between conciously withheld catalast and freely given catalyst

[Shemaya]

I'm wondering of the karmic differences between these two poles.

What is the incarnational expression and difference between giving someone freely your opinions and sharing your own deeper love for them?

Where truly is the separation between the bigot and the lover? The bigot expresses himself freely (his own love or lack) to his creative degree while the lover treads lightly in his creative expressions.

Is it possibly to express yourself freely without judgement and not be an a****** to a certain extent? Or is it all unconditionally the same?

Is it really caring to give less of and less difficult catalyst? Is it courageous spiritually to be an uninhibited a******?

The lover seeks to give itself the gift of the other as itself. So then it attempts to see all things as merciful healing unto itself. But is this process in itself convoluted?
Is the freedom to express separation equal to the discipline to withhold a****** catalyst and see the other as self?

This one is shall we say too contentious either way.

Sometimes the most caring and loving thing you can do is be truthful, and the truth really hurts sometimes.  But it is the best catalyst, and it is "radiant", of the positive path.  Sometimes in order to not hurt someone's feelings, we control our feelings, and our thoughts.  We withhold the truth, and there is no catalyst for growth and expansion.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn, I have kept my blue ray shut down for most of 47 years, it is how I was socialized as a female in a patriarchal family, religion and society.  So therefore I found a spiritual teacher who is an uninhibited ultra-truthteller.  Which is what I needed to work through many blockages. I would not call him a bigot by any means, but he isn't afraid to poke you with the truth. I think it is courageous to speak the truth.

For me, it is a moment by moment thing, I have to make choices.  What is the best thing to do in each situation?  I like acting as a catalyst in some situations, I like extending love , acceptance and compassion as well.  It is a moment by moment choice.