I genuinely do not prefer politeness

[third-density-being]

17.30...
The best way of service to others is the constant attempt to seek to share the love of the Creator as it is known to the inner self. This involves self knowledge and the ability to open the self to the other-self without hesitation. This involves, shall we say, radiating that which is the essence or the heart of the mind/body/spirit complex.

Regarding bolded part in quote You brought up Adonai One:

I am incapable of that at this time and I doubt I will ever be capable of this

I can do my best to Serve Others, but to Open my Self for Other without hesitation is beyond me (I'm afraid).

Why is that?

Because it would be equal with lack of acceptance of me, and in the end - I would be rejected. Besides how can I open my self without hesitation to someone, who takes pleasure in mocking/ridiculing me? To someone, who "grows" when is able to diminish me? Undoable.