How I interpret one of my life's most major catalyst...

[ScottK]

I do not prefer to die. I accept the potentiality of dying dictated by my will in contrast with the others in a unified focus. All desires quantified universally makes a universal desire for a given experience. All is one. I accept everyone's will completely as I am. We are all a reflection of complete unity as we are.

So let me go back to my original question. Have you made an agreement or contract, perhaps inadvertently, which would allow this entity to do what it's doing?

I assume no due to the absurdity and mystical nature of the question.

Did you ever say as a kid "I wish I were dead"? Is it really that absurd?