How I interpret one of my life's most major catalyst...

[Ankh]

I saw that there was no will for me to do anything but my own. I walked away from every form of authority on this Earth even the imperative of life.

My consciousness has ached in agony by an entity that has possessed me from my earliest years. The entities of Ra, the teachers of most of my consciousness abide by The Law of Free will in a nearly unwavering manner. They patiently waited to see if this entity would leave. It did not and attempted to shape my conciousness into hatred. It deprived me of vital energy for most of my life, leaving me emotionally numb. Unable to have its way, it bidded me to end my life by causing consistent mental agony with every catalyst that struck my life.

I embraced the agony, the torture and I screamed to the universe that all things serve me, even the damnation of my very soul. From the time I was ready to end my life from the endless emotional agony this condition has caused me, I eventually saw that the beauty of this agony was worth living for alone. Thus my teachers have seen no reason to remove this parasite from my person.

I currently call consistently to have this entity removed yet none have answered out of a compassion for the lessons it provides me.

I have learned this: There is nothing that has to be done for all thing serve the creator, all things are inherently well, life, death or eternal agony.

I will live on. That is what happened, I realized I will always live no matter what even if I were condemned to the fieriest of hells.

Most men would have ended their lives through what has been done to me. I've been told so many lies by this entity and its associates trying to find this truth but I now have it. I know what my life has been about.

I have suffered with a constant pain of simply being conscious. Look at my soul through a tuned eye and you will see me shrouded in a thick red shell. My soul is deprived of vital energy by this entity, deprived so severely that I look like a flame. I can live on scraps of energy and I continue to do so. I am ready for this lesson to end.

Now, please, for the love of my life, remove this entity from my person.

I say this only to illustrate why further restriction on me does not serve me. My mind is already in a cage, a cage so small it's simply painful for me to be alive.

Restriction is not what anyone needs to realize that all is well. But it certainly served toward that end. If anyone uses this as an example of why imprisonment and abuse of the mind in any case is acceptable towards growth, know that most people would falter under the program this entity designed. I hope you enjoy FEELING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DURING ROMANCE OR OTHERWISE with this condition. I operate literally in the blind.

I don't get it. What does this have to do with your major catalyst, as you called it yourself, with working 40 hour week?