08-12-2013, 12:53 PM
I tend to examine my emotional responses to my mother. When she's upset her cursing makes it sound like she's got tourette's syndrome. This gets to me, especially when she says the God D*** word. I take offense to that word in particular, because of my love of Creator. I don't like "his" name being used in vain. But I still am somewhat stuck on God being a he, rather than Source. Source is Creator. And we're returning to Source. It's a journey that is timeless.
Because of how I view my mom's actions at those times, I struggle to be of service to her. She has a mechanical wheelchair that is battery powered. Some days she doesn't feel well when we go out, and I have to load it into my truck, then unload it at the store, then load it back, and take it back into the house when we get home. I don't feel motivated many times to do that, so I use the excuse that I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. That is true, I've done that several times if I move it the wrong way. But if I really wanted to I could carry her wheelchair. It comes apart in 3 pieces to make carrying easier, but the base is still pretty heavy. Feels like 60 pounds or so. When I've carried it for her, that's when I've been of service to her. There was only one time I made the excuse when she was in discomfort, and she used one of the carts at walmart. Those are usually available if we don't bring hers. But she likes hers better because it's easier to operate and it's more comfortable.
Because of how I view my mom's actions at those times, I struggle to be of service to her. She has a mechanical wheelchair that is battery powered. Some days she doesn't feel well when we go out, and I have to load it into my truck, then unload it at the store, then load it back, and take it back into the house when we get home. I don't feel motivated many times to do that, so I use the excuse that I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. That is true, I've done that several times if I move it the wrong way. But if I really wanted to I could carry her wheelchair. It comes apart in 3 pieces to make carrying easier, but the base is still pretty heavy. Feels like 60 pounds or so. When I've carried it for her, that's when I've been of service to her. There was only one time I made the excuse when she was in discomfort, and she used one of the carts at walmart. Those are usually available if we don't bring hers. But she likes hers better because it's easier to operate and it's more comfortable.