Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[Monica]

Biu_Tze, thanks so much for sharing such an important yet delicate topic.

I'm not surprised that your girlfriend turned out to be needy. She may have been reflecting back to you the same pattern of neediness, but in a different form. Both are addictions.

Here are some Law of One quotes that you may find helpful:

...energy transfer. Before the veiling such a transfer was always possible due to there being no shadow upon the grasp of the nature of the body and its relationship to other mind/body/spirits in this particular manifestation. Before the veiling process there was a near total lack of the use of this sexual energy transfer beyond green ray.

This also was due to the same unshadowed knowledge each had of each. There was, in third density then, little purpose to be seen in the more intensive relationships of mind, body, and spirit which you may call those of the mating process, since each other-self was seen to be the Creator and no other-self seemed to be more the Creator than another.

After the veiling process it became infinitely more difficult to achieve green-ray energy transfer due to the great areas of mystery and unknowing concerning the body complex and its manifestations. However, also due to the great shadowing of the manifestations of the body from the conscious mind complex, when such energy transfer was experienced it was likelier to provide catalyst which caused a bonding of self with other-self in a properly polarized configuration.

From this point it was far more likely that higher energy transfers would be sought by this mated pair of mind/body/spirit complexes, thus allowing the Creator to know Itself with great beauty, solemnity, and wonder. Intelligent infinity having been reached by this sacramental use of this function of the body, each mind/body/spirit complex of the mated pair gained greatly in polarization and in ability to serve.

Questioner: Did any of the other aspects of loss of knowledge or control of the body approach, to any degree in efficiency, the description which you have just given?
Ra: I am Ra. Each function of the body complex has some potential after the veiling to provide helpful catalyst. We did choose the example of sexual energy transfer due to its central place in the functionary capabilities of the body complex made more useful by means of the veiling process.

This instrument grows somewhat low in energy. We would prefer to retain the maximal portion of reserved energy for which this instrument has given permission. We would, therefore, ask for one more full query at this working.

Questioner: I would assume that the veiling of the sexual aspect was of great efficiency because it is an aspect that has to do totally with a relationship with an other-self. It would seem to me that the bodily veilings having to do with other-self interaction would be more efficient when compared with those only related to self, which would be lower in efficiency in producing either positive or negative polarization. Am I correct in this assumption?
Ra: I am Ra. You are correct to a great extent. Perhaps the most notable exception is the attitude of one already strongly polarized negatively towards the appearance of the body complex. There are those entities upon the negative path which take great care in the preservation of the distortion your peoples perceive as fairness/ugliness. This fairness of form is, of course, then used in order to manipulate other-selves.

Questioner: In addition, why is the ratio of male to female orgasms so heavily loaded on the side of the male?
Ra: I am Ra. We refer now to the yellow-ray, physical body or, if you will, body complex. At this level the distinction is unimportant. The male orgasm which motivates the sperm forward to meet its ovum is essential for the completion of the red-ray desire to propagate the species. The female orgasm is unnecessary. Again, as mind/body/spirit complexes begin to use the sexual energy transfer to learn, to serve, and to glorify the One Infinite Creator the function of the female orgasm becomes more clear.

Questioner: Is it meaningful to give this ratio in early fourth density and, if so, would you do that?
Ra: I am Ra. In many ways it is quite meaningless to speak of orgasm of male and female in higher densities as the character and nature of orgasm becomes more and more naturally a function of the mind/body/spirit complex as an unit. It may be said that the veil in fourth density is lifted and the choice has been made. In positive polarities true sharing is almost universal. In negative polarities true blockage so that the conqueror obtains orgasm, the conquered almost never, is almost universal. In each case you may see the function of the sexual portion of experience as being a most efficient means of polarization

There is a wealth of invaluable info regarding sexuality in the Law of One. For a shortcut to this info, just do a search for the word sex in the searchable database.

Being female, I offer a different perspective. I have always felt an intense aversion to porn, and it always bothered me whenever a boyfriend was into it. I felt cheated and violated. I realize that many women enjoy porn right alongside their mates, but for me it was just a lesser form of adultery.

One boyfriend in particular was heavily addicted to porn. I would catch him with it repeatedly. It caused a lot of stress in our relationship. He thought I was overly sensitive and having unrealistic expectations, while I thought he was a jerk and basically a junkie. His drug of choice was porn.

It also bothered me whenever I met other women who told me I should just 'accept it' because "boys will be boys." I found these women weak and I felt disgusted by their weakness. Why could they not make a stand? Why did they allow their men to disrespect them so? And how dare they imply that I was somehow demanding or prudish for not accepting my boyfriend's 'normal' male pastime?

Somehow, deep down, I felt that there was a reason for my strong feelings, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what that was. I had no support, nothing to back me up.

Why did it bother me so? I wasn't sexually abused as a child. I was pretty and always had plenty of dates, and I had no issues with sex itself, so I couldn't blame it on jealousy or pent up sexuality. Was I the one with the problem? Should I have just accepted that 'boys will be boys?' Should I have been like many women, who say, "Well he can look at whomever he wants as long as he comes home to me."...?

But no, I considered that a cop-out and a degradation.

I wasn't religious. I wasn't like those prudish, uptight people who thought showing a bit of skin would land you in 'hell.' So I really couldn't identify with them either. Yet I found myself agreeing that porn was basically 'from the pit of hell.'

Why did I feel so strongly about it?

Finally, when I read the Law of One, I came across a quote that explained it for me:

Questioner: In our illusion we have physical definitions for possible transfers of energy. We label them as the conversion of potential to kinetic or kinetic to heat and examine this with respect to the increasing entropy. When we speak of sexual energy transfers and other more basic forms of energy I am always at a loss to properly use, you might say, the terms since I am not understanding—and possibly can’t understand—the basic form of energy that we speak of. However, I intuit that this is the energy of pure vibration; that is, at the basic level of our illusion, that vibration between the space and time portion of the space/time continuum and yet somehow is transferred into our illusion in a more basic form than that. Could you expand on this area for me, please?
Ra: I am Ra. Yes.

Questioner: Would you do that?
Ra: I am Ra. You are correct in assuming that the energy of which we speak in discussing sexual energy transfers is a form of vibratory bridge between space/time and time/space. Although this distinction is not apart from that which follows, that which follows may shed light upon that basic statement.

Due to the veiling process the energy transferred from male to female is different than that transferred from female to male. Due to the polarity difference of the mind/body/spirit complexes of male and female the male stores physical energy, the female mental and mental/emotional energy. When third-density sexual energy transfer is completed the male will have offered the discharge of physical energy. The female is, thereby, refreshed, having far less physical vitality. At the same time, if you will use this term, the female discharges the efflux of its stored mental and mental/emotional energy, thereby offering inspiration, healing, and blessing to the male which by nature is less vital in this area.

In my interpretation, what this is saying is that the female has an honor and a responsibility to raise the vibration of the male. It's a complementary relationship. The female can spiritualize the sex act so that it becomes a potent exchange of energy.

Without this female contribution, the sex act is nothing more than masturbation. Or, worse, an STS act in which one person objectifies and manipulates the other.

I ask you this: Of all those porn videos you have seen, of all those women engaging in sex, how many of them actually had genuine orgasms? How many raised the energy to the heart chakra?

Answer: Very few or NONE. Women engage in porn for pay or for whatever reason, maybe they just enjoy it. I have no judgement on their choice of career. But they're not doing it for love. And when they seem to moan in pleasure, it's likely fake. They're doing it for the camera. For MEN. Not for themselves. Not for love. There is no heart connection. It's all red ray and yellow ray stuff.

So here is why the whole idea of porn was difficult for me to accept in my past relationships: Because the women in the porno videos had allowed themselves to be dragged down, to be pulled down into the lower chakra activities, instead of succeeding in their designated task of pulling the men up to the higher chakra activities. And, in many cases, it was an energy exchange of an STS nature, of dominance and submission, rather than an STO exchange of truly caring for the other person and giving of oneself in love.

Sex isn't dirty. Sex is beautiful. I marvel at the reverent way sex is addressed in the Law of One and in the later channelings. I don't see orn as 'wrong' but I see it as being less than...a degradation in the literal sense...a lessening of what it could be...sex based purely on lust is a mere shadow of a love-based sexual relationship. (I've had both.)

As with any addiction, suppressing doesn't work. Transcendance is the key. How to do that? I would suggest, for starters, to forget all about letting go of the addiction, forget all about trying to control it, and just focus on GIVING of yourself in the sexual act. Focus not on being pleased, but on pleasing. Where your attention goes, your energy flows! If you focus on GIVING to your partner, the energy will automatically flow up from the lower chakras to the higher chakras, and start releasing the blocked energy that is causing the addiction.

Another suggestion is to do some soul retrieval work to get to the root of the issue.

Another suggestion: Next time you watch porn, try really looking at the people in the video. Not at the sex, but at the people...look at their faces...who are they? What are they really doing? WHY are they doing this in front of a camera? I remember once seeing a porno flick and noticing how PAINED the woman's face was, as she serviced the man. Probably no one else on the planet had ever watched that particular video and noticed this...they were all too busy watching the action. But this is a PERSON doing this...she's doing it for pay...she probably has young children at home and that's why she's trying to just make a living...or maybe she was abused and has no sense of self-worth...whatever...we don't know her background, but the point is that she DOES have a background! Maybe she is cut off from her feelings and feels nothing. But one thing is for certain: She's not elevating that man into a state of love. I doubt that she is giving of herself out of love for him. And he certainly isn't doing it for her. Try looking at those actors and see thru the mask...see thru the acting and into the hearts and minds of the people therein...and you just might never look at porn the same way again.

And, most importantly, forgive yourself! Forgiving yourself doesn't mean that you necessarily just indulge with abandon...you can work to make different choices while, at the same time, forgive yourself for the choices you have made previously. Acceptance of oneself doesn't necessarily mean that we just wallow in whatever behavior pattern we currently have, while a part of us wants to change. It's paradoxical, but we can accept ourselves and all our deepest, darkest urges, while simultaneously CHOOSING something other than those urges...choosing to transform those urges. It is the CHOICE that transforms, the choice without judgement. Not judging doesn't necessarily mean that we just stay the same, with no effort to change. We can make the choice to change, to transcend and transform, while simultaneously forgiving ourselves for being who we are at the present moment. It is our choice in this moment that will determine the next.

I speak only in theory as I cannot relate to your dilemma. I can share only from the perspective of the pain I felt on the other side. But my experience led me to seek understanding of why porn and loveless sex are such powerful attractions for so many men. The many references to sex in the Law of One helped me to clarify and understand just what a potent force the sexual energy is.

I offer all this only for your consideration. Whatever doesn't resonate, please just discard.