This post mostly sprung from discussing “cording” in my “closet masochist” post. From what I understand, this can involve a negative entity forming a sort of energy connection with another entity, mainly directly with the orange ray energy center, which allows the negative entity to send impulses or “directives” through the connection in hopes of overriding the “programming” of the entity under attack. These directives can cause strong primal urges and responses and the negative entity can then feed on the energies the host produces. Basically, a big STS tick. (I am sorry if this is a completely ineffective description…it is what I have pieced together so far.)
In one way I feel I relate to this concept directly, but it has also opened up a whole other can of worms in my brain. A bunch of issues that seemed unrelated now all seem to be popping together. I think my main objective here is simply to share and see if anyone else has had similar experiences, and how they dealt with it because it has caused me quite a lot of confusion and blockage and embarrassment and I mostly feel like I need to get it off my chest.
One of these things is that I have a gut feeing my planet of origin is somewhere in the Orion constellation. I have discussed this with Carla and she has assured me that not every planet there is of negative orientation, but for the most part it does seem like a fairly dark “area.” Obviously, I have no idea if there is actually any truth to this instinctual feeling of origin. It could be a distraction attempt or simply something I made up because Orion is one of the few constellations I can actually pick out in the sky. Still, I had a fascination with that constellation long before I ran into the Ra material.
I apologize if this sounds like a bad sci-fi novel, but for years I have had frequent contact with a “reptilian” presence. Whether this is an actual reptilian entity or it simply chooses this form because I’ve heard reptilians be associated with the Orion constellation many times I am unsure. I don’t even know if the reptilian species as I perceive it exists (in a way that could interact with me personally, anyway). Anyway, this guy has made it pretty clear from day one that he doesn’t like me. However, he says he has to “keep track of me” because “they” are afraid I could turn out to be a loose cannon. He seems protective of me out of a pure sense of responsibility, as if I am an experiment that needs monitoring and it would be bad for him if the conditions of said experiment were infringed upon. He is extremely grouchy and the fact that I respond to his rudeness with humor and high spirits doesn’t do much to aid his temperament. However, he never just “disappears” like the other ones often do when I send them love. He also never tries to get me to do one thing or the other- he just observes, as if he‘s waiting for something…waiting for me to “make a mess” as he calls it. If anything, making suggestions on my behavior seems insulting to him, as if he won‘t be bothered with my trivial animal undertakings. He‘s totally the life of the party.
About two years ago I had another “reptilian” experience. I was at my job and, my attitudes not being quite so positive at the time, was indulging in my usual habit of being extremely annoyed at how “stupid” all the people who came crowding through were. At the time I had no idea how to ground the energies I didn’t, at that point, even realize I was sensitive to, and it was wreaking havoc on my system. I was getting to the point that I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get away from all these people who didn’t seem to notice or care about anything around them. I could hear them all jabbering, feel them beneath my skin, and it was nothing but idle static. It was an assault on all my senses.
At the point I was considering putting a plastic bag over my head I felt a presence at my back and a voice began talking to me in my head. “Look at them.” it said. “They’re like cattle.” It then proceeded to disparage the human race in a variety of colorful ways, speaking about how we were going wipe ourselves out because we were too stupid to realize we were killing the planet. After it had exhausted its list of our flaws, it then proceeded to express the opinion that it would be better for humans if they were all enslaved and had someone else do their thinking for them. At that point in time I was readily agreeing with this entity. In the state of mind I was in, its opinion seemed to make a lot of sense. The presence then began to appeal to my sense of pride in a way that now embarrasses me to talk about. It told me I had “a little potential” and I could be removed and trained and be with other higher minds, where my talents could be of use. Of course, this would involve handing over my body (looking back I think this could have actually implicated my physical death) and my services and loyalty to be used as deemed fit by the higher life forms. This conversation continued all the way until I got off work. When I went out into the parking lot I got a clear image of this entity with my third eye. He looked like a big lizard guy with piercing yellow eyes, and he just stood there and stared at me. As disgusted as it has made me, I must admit that I was sorely tempted to accept the offer, and gave it serious consideration. At one point I even vocalized my acceptance, but my soul was still too filled with compassion for the contract to be completed. I still wanted to, on some deeper level, nourish the human race, not enslave it. It was not a joint mind/body/spirit decision and I thank God now that it wasn’t. I later felt considerable guilt over this contract but with the help of some wonderful friends I feel I was able to absolve it and work through the karmic issues it produced.
Occasionally I still feel those types of presences, still offering that same contract, though I do my best to politely reject the service they offer. Sometimes it disgusts me that I at times still find the offer tempting, but deep within my soul I know that I do not want what is being offered to me.
I have had reptilian experiences in my dreams…sexual encounters that I simply can’t describe for a multitude of reasons. Dreams that seemed far too real to be dreams. On top of it all, I feel embarrassed to be one of those people who have had a “the reptilians raped me” dream. It just seems ridiculous. Too over the top and typical…the kind of thing even I roll my eyes at.
For a long while I didn’t know what to make of all these experiences. I thought I was either psychotic or was experiencing demonic harassment. Reading about Orion in the Ra Material almost seems like reading a memory. My experiences seemed to line up with the Orion objective so literally and blatantly that it almost seemed silly.
Then you get into the cording experience…For many, many years I have struggled with “fits” where my mind would seem to be randomly overridden by extremely powerful impulses, the primary being unquenchable rage and insatiable lust. I’m not talking subtle mental temptations…during these episodes I would lose almost all control over my own thinking. I would scream and attempt to destroy anything around me, including my own body. My thoughts would race incoherently. The rage would be so huge that I would completely lose myself. I actually have brain damage from an episode where I slammed my head into the floor repeatedly. I have told many people it was like being in the back seat of a car. I could see everything that was going on but seemed to have no control because the impulse was too staggering. I would be watching the scene in horror, thinking ‘Why am I doing this?!? I have to stop! I don’t want to do this!’ Usually I managed to retain some base level of control, as I never killed or raped anyone or set anything on fire. Often I would literally take a step in one direction, then force myself to step back and continue repeating this process, as if there were two different people in my body, both of them trying to walk in opposite directions. Needless to say, I spent a good deal of time in the psychiatric hospital.
On occasion I would channel during these episodes, though at the time I didn’t know what that word meant. A great deal of it was complete gibberish because of the mental resistance I was putting up, but on occasion some really awful stuff would come through. I could feel this…thing…sifting through my brain, finding the thing that would be the most absolutely vile, hurtful thing I could say to the people around me. It would then try to force these words through my lips. Usually I would just end up making weird sounds because I was resisting to the degree that the connection was damaged, but every once in a while I would say things that I’d rather not remember. Afterward I would be appalled at myself for saying such things. On more than one occasion my husband literally had to sit on top of me while I flailed at him and said anything that might possibly get him to turn on me and lash out in anger. Fortunately the love of my life wasn’t so easily swayed. When I resisted this “message” I often got horrible pictures in my head of grotesque, awful things happening to the people I cared about.
Through much training and concentration and the practicing of protective rituals I have managed to gain a great deal of control over this situation. The “fits” rarely happen at all in that degree anymore, though I still often find myself suddenly seized by primal urges and it takes all the control I have to resist either beating up or having sex with the first person I run into. I feel this could be one of the root triggers of my masochism and the fascination I have with domination and submission. Up until now I never really connected everything in my head, but now I am wondering if I could have this type of negative parasitic bond that is manipulating my energy, offering me the catalyst of these impulses.
I am wondering if all of these experiences tie in together somehow. I would like to say up front that I realize that the whole reptilian theme could EASILY be an illusion created to appeal to my biases and that the “plot line” so to speak has little basis in reality. I also realize that no matter what happens to be offering its service in the negative sense, I am responsible for my own actions and cannot be forced to succumb to anything that I have not, on one level or another, accepted with my own free will. I do not want someone to blame for my behavior here…I am absolutely not saying it isn’t my fault I have difficulty in certain areas because someone else was controlling me, though I get the feeling that might be what they want.
I also do not feel any spite toward these entities. I realize they are simply following their own concept of service. Still, it seems like there is a huge performance going on…these over the top things to distract me and cause me both fear and temptation and these subtler manipulations whose main objective seems to be to cause me to become so appalled by my own behavior that I sink into myself and block myself off completely…that, or as has happened in some cases, my realizing how easily I could completely embrace the STS mindset. Sometimes I can picture myself going on that other path and it succeeds quite well in scaring me. Then there is this cording concept, meaning I could also be a walking buffet for energy vampires. I mean…would these type of entities put on such an elaborate show just to get at one person? It seems silly, but I suppose the low self worth I still struggle with could be coming into play here again.
I am not trying to be dramatic with these experiences and I don’t want to jump to conclusions and think that “they’re out to get me”. I also would like to establish the fact that I am constantly putting effort into increasing my STO polarity. However, things are clicking together so fast now that I really want to be able to discuss them with others, and I don’ know of many people who can talk about this stuff seriously. I’ve tried it on other forums and well…the results were less than enlightening.
Out of curiosity, DOES anyone know anything about this reptilian business? I’ve heard everything from it involving the reptilian part of the brain to a species that evolved off of dinosaurs to shape shifters to actual lizard people, and no site I’ve been to offers a mature perspective on any of the above. I’m just wondering why all these images resonate so strongly in my mind. I’ve always had a huge affinity for reptiles and was immediately intrigued by the concept of reptilians. I’m also wondering why I am so drawn to Orion- the actual constellation, I mean. I just look up at those stars and think “home.” Maybe it’s all a simple attempt to distract me but I just *feel* something when I think of all these concepts. I feel like I’m just on the surface of something and there‘s so much more I can‘t quite reach.
Has anyone else had experiences remotely like this?
In one way I feel I relate to this concept directly, but it has also opened up a whole other can of worms in my brain. A bunch of issues that seemed unrelated now all seem to be popping together. I think my main objective here is simply to share and see if anyone else has had similar experiences, and how they dealt with it because it has caused me quite a lot of confusion and blockage and embarrassment and I mostly feel like I need to get it off my chest.
One of these things is that I have a gut feeing my planet of origin is somewhere in the Orion constellation. I have discussed this with Carla and she has assured me that not every planet there is of negative orientation, but for the most part it does seem like a fairly dark “area.” Obviously, I have no idea if there is actually any truth to this instinctual feeling of origin. It could be a distraction attempt or simply something I made up because Orion is one of the few constellations I can actually pick out in the sky. Still, I had a fascination with that constellation long before I ran into the Ra material.
I apologize if this sounds like a bad sci-fi novel, but for years I have had frequent contact with a “reptilian” presence. Whether this is an actual reptilian entity or it simply chooses this form because I’ve heard reptilians be associated with the Orion constellation many times I am unsure. I don’t even know if the reptilian species as I perceive it exists (in a way that could interact with me personally, anyway). Anyway, this guy has made it pretty clear from day one that he doesn’t like me. However, he says he has to “keep track of me” because “they” are afraid I could turn out to be a loose cannon. He seems protective of me out of a pure sense of responsibility, as if I am an experiment that needs monitoring and it would be bad for him if the conditions of said experiment were infringed upon. He is extremely grouchy and the fact that I respond to his rudeness with humor and high spirits doesn’t do much to aid his temperament. However, he never just “disappears” like the other ones often do when I send them love. He also never tries to get me to do one thing or the other- he just observes, as if he‘s waiting for something…waiting for me to “make a mess” as he calls it. If anything, making suggestions on my behavior seems insulting to him, as if he won‘t be bothered with my trivial animal undertakings. He‘s totally the life of the party.
About two years ago I had another “reptilian” experience. I was at my job and, my attitudes not being quite so positive at the time, was indulging in my usual habit of being extremely annoyed at how “stupid” all the people who came crowding through were. At the time I had no idea how to ground the energies I didn’t, at that point, even realize I was sensitive to, and it was wreaking havoc on my system. I was getting to the point that I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get away from all these people who didn’t seem to notice or care about anything around them. I could hear them all jabbering, feel them beneath my skin, and it was nothing but idle static. It was an assault on all my senses.
At the point I was considering putting a plastic bag over my head I felt a presence at my back and a voice began talking to me in my head. “Look at them.” it said. “They’re like cattle.” It then proceeded to disparage the human race in a variety of colorful ways, speaking about how we were going wipe ourselves out because we were too stupid to realize we were killing the planet. After it had exhausted its list of our flaws, it then proceeded to express the opinion that it would be better for humans if they were all enslaved and had someone else do their thinking for them. At that point in time I was readily agreeing with this entity. In the state of mind I was in, its opinion seemed to make a lot of sense. The presence then began to appeal to my sense of pride in a way that now embarrasses me to talk about. It told me I had “a little potential” and I could be removed and trained and be with other higher minds, where my talents could be of use. Of course, this would involve handing over my body (looking back I think this could have actually implicated my physical death) and my services and loyalty to be used as deemed fit by the higher life forms. This conversation continued all the way until I got off work. When I went out into the parking lot I got a clear image of this entity with my third eye. He looked like a big lizard guy with piercing yellow eyes, and he just stood there and stared at me. As disgusted as it has made me, I must admit that I was sorely tempted to accept the offer, and gave it serious consideration. At one point I even vocalized my acceptance, but my soul was still too filled with compassion for the contract to be completed. I still wanted to, on some deeper level, nourish the human race, not enslave it. It was not a joint mind/body/spirit decision and I thank God now that it wasn’t. I later felt considerable guilt over this contract but with the help of some wonderful friends I feel I was able to absolve it and work through the karmic issues it produced.
Occasionally I still feel those types of presences, still offering that same contract, though I do my best to politely reject the service they offer. Sometimes it disgusts me that I at times still find the offer tempting, but deep within my soul I know that I do not want what is being offered to me.
I have had reptilian experiences in my dreams…sexual encounters that I simply can’t describe for a multitude of reasons. Dreams that seemed far too real to be dreams. On top of it all, I feel embarrassed to be one of those people who have had a “the reptilians raped me” dream. It just seems ridiculous. Too over the top and typical…the kind of thing even I roll my eyes at.
For a long while I didn’t know what to make of all these experiences. I thought I was either psychotic or was experiencing demonic harassment. Reading about Orion in the Ra Material almost seems like reading a memory. My experiences seemed to line up with the Orion objective so literally and blatantly that it almost seemed silly.
Then you get into the cording experience…For many, many years I have struggled with “fits” where my mind would seem to be randomly overridden by extremely powerful impulses, the primary being unquenchable rage and insatiable lust. I’m not talking subtle mental temptations…during these episodes I would lose almost all control over my own thinking. I would scream and attempt to destroy anything around me, including my own body. My thoughts would race incoherently. The rage would be so huge that I would completely lose myself. I actually have brain damage from an episode where I slammed my head into the floor repeatedly. I have told many people it was like being in the back seat of a car. I could see everything that was going on but seemed to have no control because the impulse was too staggering. I would be watching the scene in horror, thinking ‘Why am I doing this?!? I have to stop! I don’t want to do this!’ Usually I managed to retain some base level of control, as I never killed or raped anyone or set anything on fire. Often I would literally take a step in one direction, then force myself to step back and continue repeating this process, as if there were two different people in my body, both of them trying to walk in opposite directions. Needless to say, I spent a good deal of time in the psychiatric hospital.
On occasion I would channel during these episodes, though at the time I didn’t know what that word meant. A great deal of it was complete gibberish because of the mental resistance I was putting up, but on occasion some really awful stuff would come through. I could feel this…thing…sifting through my brain, finding the thing that would be the most absolutely vile, hurtful thing I could say to the people around me. It would then try to force these words through my lips. Usually I would just end up making weird sounds because I was resisting to the degree that the connection was damaged, but every once in a while I would say things that I’d rather not remember. Afterward I would be appalled at myself for saying such things. On more than one occasion my husband literally had to sit on top of me while I flailed at him and said anything that might possibly get him to turn on me and lash out in anger. Fortunately the love of my life wasn’t so easily swayed. When I resisted this “message” I often got horrible pictures in my head of grotesque, awful things happening to the people I cared about.
Through much training and concentration and the practicing of protective rituals I have managed to gain a great deal of control over this situation. The “fits” rarely happen at all in that degree anymore, though I still often find myself suddenly seized by primal urges and it takes all the control I have to resist either beating up or having sex with the first person I run into. I feel this could be one of the root triggers of my masochism and the fascination I have with domination and submission. Up until now I never really connected everything in my head, but now I am wondering if I could have this type of negative parasitic bond that is manipulating my energy, offering me the catalyst of these impulses.
I am wondering if all of these experiences tie in together somehow. I would like to say up front that I realize that the whole reptilian theme could EASILY be an illusion created to appeal to my biases and that the “plot line” so to speak has little basis in reality. I also realize that no matter what happens to be offering its service in the negative sense, I am responsible for my own actions and cannot be forced to succumb to anything that I have not, on one level or another, accepted with my own free will. I do not want someone to blame for my behavior here…I am absolutely not saying it isn’t my fault I have difficulty in certain areas because someone else was controlling me, though I get the feeling that might be what they want.
I also do not feel any spite toward these entities. I realize they are simply following their own concept of service. Still, it seems like there is a huge performance going on…these over the top things to distract me and cause me both fear and temptation and these subtler manipulations whose main objective seems to be to cause me to become so appalled by my own behavior that I sink into myself and block myself off completely…that, or as has happened in some cases, my realizing how easily I could completely embrace the STS mindset. Sometimes I can picture myself going on that other path and it succeeds quite well in scaring me. Then there is this cording concept, meaning I could also be a walking buffet for energy vampires. I mean…would these type of entities put on such an elaborate show just to get at one person? It seems silly, but I suppose the low self worth I still struggle with could be coming into play here again.
I am not trying to be dramatic with these experiences and I don’t want to jump to conclusions and think that “they’re out to get me”. I also would like to establish the fact that I am constantly putting effort into increasing my STO polarity. However, things are clicking together so fast now that I really want to be able to discuss them with others, and I don’ know of many people who can talk about this stuff seriously. I’ve tried it on other forums and well…the results were less than enlightening.
Out of curiosity, DOES anyone know anything about this reptilian business? I’ve heard everything from it involving the reptilian part of the brain to a species that evolved off of dinosaurs to shape shifters to actual lizard people, and no site I’ve been to offers a mature perspective on any of the above. I’m just wondering why all these images resonate so strongly in my mind. I’ve always had a huge affinity for reptiles and was immediately intrigued by the concept of reptilians. I’m also wondering why I am so drawn to Orion- the actual constellation, I mean. I just look up at those stars and think “home.” Maybe it’s all a simple attempt to distract me but I just *feel* something when I think of all these concepts. I feel like I’m just on the surface of something and there‘s so much more I can‘t quite reach.
Has anyone else had experiences remotely like this?
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)
