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Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - Brittany - 01-05-2010
This post mostly sprung from discussing “cording” in my “closet masochist” post. From what I understand, this can involve a negative entity forming a sort of energy connection with another entity, mainly directly with the orange ray energy center, which allows the negative entity to send impulses or “directives” through the connection in hopes of overriding the “programming” of the entity under attack. These directives can cause strong primal urges and responses and the negative entity can then feed on the energies the host produces. Basically, a big STS tick. (I am sorry if this is a completely ineffective description…it is what I have pieced together so far.)
In one way I feel I relate to this concept directly, but it has also opened up a whole other can of worms in my brain. A bunch of issues that seemed unrelated now all seem to be popping together. I think my main objective here is simply to share and see if anyone else has had similar experiences, and how they dealt with it because it has caused me quite a lot of confusion and blockage and embarrassment and I mostly feel like I need to get it off my chest.
One of these things is that I have a gut feeing my planet of origin is somewhere in the Orion constellation. I have discussed this with Carla and she has assured me that not every planet there is of negative orientation, but for the most part it does seem like a fairly dark “area.” Obviously, I have no idea if there is actually any truth to this instinctual feeling of origin. It could be a distraction attempt or simply something I made up because Orion is one of the few constellations I can actually pick out in the sky. Still, I had a fascination with that constellation long before I ran into the Ra material.
I apologize if this sounds like a bad sci-fi novel, but for years I have had frequent contact with a “reptilian” presence. Whether this is an actual reptilian entity or it simply chooses this form because I’ve heard reptilians be associated with the Orion constellation many times I am unsure. I don’t even know if the reptilian species as I perceive it exists (in a way that could interact with me personally, anyway). Anyway, this guy has made it pretty clear from day one that he doesn’t like me. However, he says he has to “keep track of me” because “they” are afraid I could turn out to be a loose cannon. He seems protective of me out of a pure sense of responsibility, as if I am an experiment that needs monitoring and it would be bad for him if the conditions of said experiment were infringed upon. He is extremely grouchy and the fact that I respond to his rudeness with humor and high spirits doesn’t do much to aid his temperament. However, he never just “disappears” like the other ones often do when I send them love. He also never tries to get me to do one thing or the other- he just observes, as if he‘s waiting for something…waiting for me to “make a mess” as he calls it. If anything, making suggestions on my behavior seems insulting to him, as if he won‘t be bothered with my trivial animal undertakings. He‘s totally the life of the party.
About two years ago I had another “reptilian” experience. I was at my job and, my attitudes not being quite so positive at the time, was indulging in my usual habit of being extremely annoyed at how “stupid” all the people who came crowding through were. At the time I had no idea how to ground the energies I didn’t, at that point, even realize I was sensitive to, and it was wreaking havoc on my system. I was getting to the point that I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get away from all these people who didn’t seem to notice or care about anything around them. I could hear them all jabbering, feel them beneath my skin, and it was nothing but idle static. It was an assault on all my senses.
At the point I was considering putting a plastic bag over my head I felt a presence at my back and a voice began talking to me in my head. “Look at them.” it said. “They’re like cattle.” It then proceeded to disparage the human race in a variety of colorful ways, speaking about how we were going wipe ourselves out because we were too stupid to realize we were killing the planet. After it had exhausted its list of our flaws, it then proceeded to express the opinion that it would be better for humans if they were all enslaved and had someone else do their thinking for them. At that point in time I was readily agreeing with this entity. In the state of mind I was in, its opinion seemed to make a lot of sense. The presence then began to appeal to my sense of pride in a way that now embarrasses me to talk about. It told me I had “a little potential” and I could be removed and trained and be with other higher minds, where my talents could be of use. Of course, this would involve handing over my body (looking back I think this could have actually implicated my physical death) and my services and loyalty to be used as deemed fit by the higher life forms. This conversation continued all the way until I got off work. When I went out into the parking lot I got a clear image of this entity with my third eye. He looked like a big lizard guy with piercing yellow eyes, and he just stood there and stared at me. As disgusted as it has made me, I must admit that I was sorely tempted to accept the offer, and gave it serious consideration. At one point I even vocalized my acceptance, but my soul was still too filled with compassion for the contract to be completed. I still wanted to, on some deeper level, nourish the human race, not enslave it. It was not a joint mind/body/spirit decision and I thank God now that it wasn’t. I later felt considerable guilt over this contract but with the help of some wonderful friends I feel I was able to absolve it and work through the karmic issues it produced.
Occasionally I still feel those types of presences, still offering that same contract, though I do my best to politely reject the service they offer. Sometimes it disgusts me that I at times still find the offer tempting, but deep within my soul I know that I do not want what is being offered to me.
I have had reptilian experiences in my dreams…sexual encounters that I simply can’t describe for a multitude of reasons. Dreams that seemed far too real to be dreams. On top of it all, I feel embarrassed to be one of those people who have had a “the reptilians raped me” dream. It just seems ridiculous. Too over the top and typical…the kind of thing even I roll my eyes at.
For a long while I didn’t know what to make of all these experiences. I thought I was either psychotic or was experiencing demonic harassment. Reading about Orion in the Ra Material almost seems like reading a memory. My experiences seemed to line up with the Orion objective so literally and blatantly that it almost seemed silly.
Then you get into the cording experience…For many, many years I have struggled with “fits” where my mind would seem to be randomly overridden by extremely powerful impulses, the primary being unquenchable rage and insatiable lust. I’m not talking subtle mental temptations…during these episodes I would lose almost all control over my own thinking. I would scream and attempt to destroy anything around me, including my own body. My thoughts would race incoherently. The rage would be so huge that I would completely lose myself. I actually have brain damage from an episode where I slammed my head into the floor repeatedly. I have told many people it was like being in the back seat of a car. I could see everything that was going on but seemed to have no control because the impulse was too staggering. I would be watching the scene in horror, thinking ‘Why am I doing this?!? I have to stop! I don’t want to do this!’ Usually I managed to retain some base level of control, as I never killed or raped anyone or set anything on fire. Often I would literally take a step in one direction, then force myself to step back and continue repeating this process, as if there were two different people in my body, both of them trying to walk in opposite directions. Needless to say, I spent a good deal of time in the psychiatric hospital.
On occasion I would channel during these episodes, though at the time I didn’t know what that word meant. A great deal of it was complete gibberish because of the mental resistance I was putting up, but on occasion some really awful stuff would come through. I could feel this…thing…sifting through my brain, finding the thing that would be the most absolutely vile, hurtful thing I could say to the people around me. It would then try to force these words through my lips. Usually I would just end up making weird sounds because I was resisting to the degree that the connection was damaged, but every once in a while I would say things that I’d rather not remember. Afterward I would be appalled at myself for saying such things. On more than one occasion my husband literally had to sit on top of me while I flailed at him and said anything that might possibly get him to turn on me and lash out in anger. Fortunately the love of my life wasn’t so easily swayed. When I resisted this “message” I often got horrible pictures in my head of grotesque, awful things happening to the people I cared about.
Through much training and concentration and the practicing of protective rituals I have managed to gain a great deal of control over this situation. The “fits” rarely happen at all in that degree anymore, though I still often find myself suddenly seized by primal urges and it takes all the control I have to resist either beating up or having sex with the first person I run into. I feel this could be one of the root triggers of my masochism and the fascination I have with domination and submission. Up until now I never really connected everything in my head, but now I am wondering if I could have this type of negative parasitic bond that is manipulating my energy, offering me the catalyst of these impulses.
I am wondering if all of these experiences tie in together somehow. I would like to say up front that I realize that the whole reptilian theme could EASILY be an illusion created to appeal to my biases and that the “plot line” so to speak has little basis in reality. I also realize that no matter what happens to be offering its service in the negative sense, I am responsible for my own actions and cannot be forced to succumb to anything that I have not, on one level or another, accepted with my own free will. I do not want someone to blame for my behavior here…I am absolutely not saying it isn’t my fault I have difficulty in certain areas because someone else was controlling me, though I get the feeling that might be what they want.
I also do not feel any spite toward these entities. I realize they are simply following their own concept of service. Still, it seems like there is a huge performance going on…these over the top things to distract me and cause me both fear and temptation and these subtler manipulations whose main objective seems to be to cause me to become so appalled by my own behavior that I sink into myself and block myself off completely…that, or as has happened in some cases, my realizing how easily I could completely embrace the STS mindset. Sometimes I can picture myself going on that other path and it succeeds quite well in scaring me. Then there is this cording concept, meaning I could also be a walking buffet for energy vampires. I mean…would these type of entities put on such an elaborate show just to get at one person? It seems silly, but I suppose the low self worth I still struggle with could be coming into play here again.
I am not trying to be dramatic with these experiences and I don’t want to jump to conclusions and think that “they’re out to get me”. I also would like to establish the fact that I am constantly putting effort into increasing my STO polarity. However, things are clicking together so fast now that I really want to be able to discuss them with others, and I don’ know of many people who can talk about this stuff seriously. I’ve tried it on other forums and well…the results were less than enlightening.
Out of curiosity, DOES anyone know anything about this reptilian business? I’ve heard everything from it involving the reptilian part of the brain to a species that evolved off of dinosaurs to shape shifters to actual lizard people, and no site I’ve been to offers a mature perspective on any of the above. I’m just wondering why all these images resonate so strongly in my mind. I’ve always had a huge affinity for reptiles and was immediately intrigued by the concept of reptilians. I’m also wondering why I am so drawn to Orion- the actual constellation, I mean. I just look up at those stars and think “home.” Maybe it’s all a simple attempt to distract me but I just *feel* something when I think of all these concepts. I feel like I’m just on the surface of something and there‘s so much more I can‘t quite reach.
Has anyone else had experiences remotely like this?
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - fairyfarmgirl - 01-06-2010
A negative greeting requires decording. There is no other way around it. A cord will always provide a link to you.
It is important to decord before delving down into the rabbit hole of your connection to and experiences with the Negative Orions--- Otherwise the link of the cord will only serve to activate their active interference or interface with you.
It is also equally important to understand that the Annunaki represents a vast group including negative Pleiadians. There is a large faction of the Annunaki who are STO as well as the Pleiadians. This is why it is very important to decord and then when a non-physical being starts speaking to you-- Hail them and insist they state who they are and their intent. By Universal Law they must.
If you were to leave your house door open with all your worldly possesions on the the kitchen table--- Would only "STO" people drop by to just admire your possessions?
Your mind is the Door. Your possessions are your embodiment. Take care of what you do have. Close the Door and make'em ring the door bell or knock. This is why decording is important and then aura, subtle body and chakra repair is essential... to create a boundary so that you can choose who you associate with. It is your creation do what you will.
Here are some references that I found helpful when I was unraveling my experiences and other people who kept showing up in my life asking me to help them. Perhaps these resources will be of assistance to you.
Begin by looking at popular media and the legend and Myths of Antiquity... you will begin to notice trends--- these trends are the seeds of Truth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_reptilian_humanoids
http://www.mazzaroth.com/ChapterThree/SumerianInfoOfAnnunaki-Anakim.htm
http://www.zetatalk.com/index/blog0926.htm
After exploring popular media, ancient myths and legends then move on to current info concerning this type of contact. Here is some resources I have found to be helpful.
http://www.wanttoknow.info/etcontact
http://www.detailshere.com/annunaki.htm
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sumer_anunnaki/anunnaki/anu_40.htm
I would also recommend reading the books
STO
Connecting with the Arcturians, David K. Miller,
The Pleiadian Workbook, Amorah Quan Yin,
Micheal's Gemstone Dictionary, Jp Van Hulle
Extra-Terrestrial Friends and Foes Andrews, George
STS
The Reptilian Agenda, David Icke
fairyfarmgirl
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - ayadew - 01-06-2010
Just want to say that David Icke gives alot of fear mongering woven with positive teachings etc, I wouldn't bother too much with that.
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - Aaron - 01-06-2010
We are always capable, at any time, of looking at and judging the self. We can look at our actions, motivations, and thoughts in any situation and place a label on it, even if that label can't be expressed with language. Whether or not these negative impulses are truly coming from an extraterrestrial being or are coming from yourself, the fact is that they manifest and flow through you. So you can choose whether or not to incorporate those negative energies into who you are. You can choose to give them some sort of label. Or you can observe them, watch them flow through you and see which parts of you they don't touch. Listen to that negative voice in your head, and determine if it really is the authority here, or if you, the deep you that is awareness of One is the director of this experience. If you were completely negative, there would be no awareness of the negativity or the "reptillian" nature you struggle with. That means there must be a part of you that is open and free, conscious and aware. And by realizing that part, you are leaps and bounds ahead of the majority of people on this planet!
You could almost look at it in a humorous way if you wish. You read of all these "posessions" by "demons" and things of that nature throughout the years, and you see how people dealt with them during that time period. The thought of a literal demon is so scary, and yet here you are, you could say that you have the equivalent of a demon inside you. But is it that scary when examined under the light of consciousness? Is it who you are? Do you have free will? The will to accept or reject, the will to control or let be. That power is always up to you.
The message of negative entities, or demons, or reptillians, the heavy ego, or whatever you want to call it, always carries fear. The negative message will always try to make you afraid of one thing or another. Whether it feels like it's saying "I control you." or "Look at what you can take if you want." or "Look at what might happen if you don't do this or that." the central idea is fear for your state of being. You are being now, and no-one can take that away from you. If there's one thing I've learned from LOO, it's that we are here in this life to make a choice. We either polarize towards fear or towards love, and it is our essence that makes that choice.
So, the central point of my message is to find your essence. No thought or impulse or message, good or bad, is you. You are the awareness of it, and it is when that awareness is realized, the choice is made.
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - Monica - 01-06-2010
Wow, ahktu, that is some intense stuff! It's totally outside my league, so I can't offer much, except for an idea that just occurred to me:
Could it be possible that you were an STS entity who has chosen to change polarity?
We know that it does indeed happen, and it can happen in both directions. Sometimes STO's get their bright lights snuffed out by the STS predators, but other times the STS guys see the light and switch over to the Light side!
Since you feel that your home of origin is Orion, maybe you were one of the exceptions - one of the few STOs amongst all the STS entities - and they are trying to get you back. OR...maybe you were among their ranks, but decided to defect. In which case, WELCOME! If that's the case, then I admire your courage! What an amazing thing to take on!
I could be totally off here, but it's just an idea to consider...It could explain a lot. If this idea resonates with you, then it might just be a matter of getting really clear about your choice and conveying that to your STS 'friends.' After all, from their perspective, they're trying to save a lost soul! Let them know you're not lost but fine, thank them for their efforts, but make it clear in no uncertain terms that you no longer need or want their services.
I agree with fairyfarmgirl that they can only hang around if you've left a door open for them and invited them in. Maybe it's time to show them the exit! Tell them they've overstayed their welcome!
I think it's awesome that you are piecing this all together. And, it sounds like you've got an incredibly devoted husband who loves you very much! Wow, what a blessing! What a powerful ally you have! Does he know about your STS visitors? Maybe you can work together to sever the cords to those unwelcome guests. Since you are sexually intimate, the STS entities have connections to him too, so I'd encourage you to work together on that.
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - Brittany - 01-06-2010
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts.
Monica, I have thought the exact same thing…that perhaps in the past I was STS. I was reluctant to talk about that here, but seeing someone else bring it up makes it feel a little less weird in my head. One of the things that makes me think this is that I have an “ability” to pretty much bend weak willed people however I want. I discovered this around high school, when I was buried in the deepest state of negativity that I’ve experienced in this life. Not many people actually liked me, but I found myself able to get inside people’s heads and get them to do things without really even trying. A lot of people were actually scared of me…a 95 lb. girl in a school girl uniform. It seemed that I radiated some kind of energy that made people uneasy and I found myself easily dominating my groups of friends and even some of my teachers.
I have also wondered if all my being stuck on the topics of pain and enslavement stem from unconscious memories of my past. I’m even starting to wonder if my desire to be the submissive in sexual relationships is an attempt to balance whatever I may have done in the past…maybe I really lorded over people and engaged in all kinds of forbidden sex magic. I don’t know.
All I can say is that when I “saw the light” it felt like a trillion pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders. The sudden beauty of everything was astonishing. I had been holding on so hard to this big knot and when I finally let it go I found myself wondering why I had made it so difficult on myself in the first place. To think of where I may have ended up…I’m just really glad things happened the way they did. Obviously, I’ve put away my little “mind control” tricks, as I do not think they are appropriate tools for serving others.
Still, I the one thing that makes me doubt this theory is, since as far back as I can remember, I have possessed an overwhelming sense of compassion. At times it has faded into the background but it has always been there. I remember once when I was a little girl my dad set our old Christmas tree on fire and I started screaming because I didn’t want him to hurt the tree. I’ve never been able to bear seeing others suffer, even in movies or in books. If I’m watching a movie where there is torture or unabashed cruelty to any life form I will immediately leave the room. Even when I was so drowned in negativity I never actually wanted to consciously hurt anyone. If anything I usually thought I was helping.
This makes me wonder about the other theory…of being one of the few STO wanderers from that area. I suppose the overwhelming sense of negativity could have left an imprint on my psyche even if I did begin with positive objectives. The image of some spaceship full of baddies trailing me to “punish the deserter” comes into my head and makes me laugh. “Wait, what’s she doing now?!?…Eating a sandwich?!?! GASP! That traitor!!!” LOL. Finding the humor in these situations has been a tremendous aid to me.
Whatever the case, I am who I am now, and I am choosing to serve others. I completely agree with everyone that ultimately it is my responsibility to deal with this situation. I don’t have to allow presences, no matter where they come from, to tell me what to do or stop me from what I’m doing. I have been going to great lengths to learn how to ground, build shields of light and cleanse the energy around me. I have made substantial progress in this, and after finding my guides I feel much more protected. I know there are those who “have my back” if I but ask. Also, my husband is indeed a precious ally. He is completely aware of my situation and though he finds it hard to digest some of the deeper teachings I am going over he has assured me I have his support 100%. This is making me work extra hard on establishing boundaries because he has already started having a few visitors of his own and I don’t want my issues to leak onto him by association. We are working together to increase the web of love we have been so blessed to find in each other.
I guess my things is I really need to just relax. I get so stressed out about who I was before this life and where I’m going after it, but I think it would do me a lot of good to just live for the day and find the joy in each moment…this type of attitude would probably bring about many more joyous moments in the future.
Fairyfarm girl, the Anunnaki thread was very interesting. I have been given some “hints” from some of my nonphysical sources that I could be a “hybrid”…that I am a combination of reptilian and…I guess human…genetics. As I mentioned, I have always had a strong affinity for reptiles, especially snakes. The Serpent is my personal totem. Reading about all this stuff seems to stir some deep memory.
This kind of awakens a whole different theory of mine (I know, I have many), that perhaps I have these conflicting feelings of being on earth forever and being from somewhere else because both are true in this specific sense. If any of this stuff is true, perhaps I was the result of one of these “experiments.” It could certainly tie in with my seeming addiction to being dominated. Still…it is hard for me to swallow a lot of it, though I have been tossing around this theory for years.
My guides will not give me specifics, and I agree with them that specifics are not important and could in fact deter my spiritual quest (though I still get pouty because I have such a freakishly huge curiosity), but they have suggested that I have the opportunity of being a special type of catalyst. I potentially have the combined blood of two very different opposing races inside of me, and if I can unify them within myself, accepting both sides for what they are, I could help mend the rifts caused by so much abuse and confusion.
If this theory holds true, I have to say I am not ashamed of it at all. If I have reptilian blood, I am proud of it. If I have the blood of a zillion different aliens, good, bad, polka dot, whatever, I love it all and am intensely proud to be what I am and where I am. If the “reptiles” made me, I love them and thank them for the opportunity. I’m just suddenly having this rush of acceptance and love for everything…even as I type this, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that no matter what specifics contribute to my DNA, I am so happy to be what I am and realize the great opportunities I have.
Looks like you popped another marble in the jar and now it’s overflowing. Marbles with smiley faces, going everywhere. Thanks! :-D
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - Monica - 01-06-2010
(01-06-2010, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: I was reluctant to talk about that here, but seeing someone else bring it up makes it feel a little less weird in my head.
It doesn't seem weird at all to me, in light of what we know about the polarities from Ra.
(01-06-2010, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: I have also wondered if all my being stuck on the topics of pain and enslavement stem from unconscious memories of my past. I’m even starting to wonder if my desire to be the submissive in sexual relationships is an attempt to balance whatever I may have done in the past.
That all fits!
(01-06-2010, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: All I can say is that when I “saw the light” it felt like a trillion pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders. The sudden beauty of everything was astonishing.
Wonderful!!
(01-06-2010, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: Still, I the one thing that makes me doubt this theory is, since as far back as I can remember, I have possessed an overwhelming sense of compassion.
Maybe this isn't the first lifetime in which you've been an STO aspirant. Maybe you've been working on changing polarity for awhile, and have made a lot of progress.
(01-06-2010, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: Whatever the case, I am who I am now, and I am choosing to serve others.
Sounds like you're doing great!
RE: Origins, reptiles, and other strange ponderings - fairyfarmgirl - 01-06-2010
If this theory holds true, I have to say I am not ashamed of it at all. If I have reptilian blood, I am proud of it. If I have the blood of a zillion different aliens, good, bad, polka dot, whatever, I love it all and am intensely proud to be what I am and where I am. If the “reptiles” made me, I love them and thank them for the opportunity. I’m just suddenly having this rush of acceptance and love for everything…even as I type this, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that no matter what specifics contribute to my DNA, I am so happy to be what I am and realize the great opportunities I have.
Looks like you popped another marble in the jar and now it’s overflowing. Marbles with smiley faces, going everywhere. Thanks! :-D
__________________________________________________________________________
Thanks! Truth be told many of us are hybrids with Repitilian blood some if we are from the Sirius have Reptilian mixed in our souls... So all is One--- As you open new doors more and more will make sense. This is like a scavenger hunt--- only instead of trinkets you are finding you and your mission. I wish you well!
An interesting aside--- there is a lady out in CA who claims to be a hybrid with a STO mission. here is her website addy: http://energeticsynthesis.com
Love--
fairyfarmgirl