|Member: L/L Central|
Location: Louisville, KY
Interests: Gary Bean and Austin Bridges wear a lot of hats in attempting to meets the needs of the organization and the readership. Our weekly Blogworthy Report represents most of the diversity of our various honor/duties. In our work we have the added honor of collaborating with volunteers in the various projects and services that L/L Research offers. We love the Confederation philosophy, L/L Research, and the readership with all our hearts.
The Blogworthy Report details the adventures, happenings, and work of L/L Central. On a bi-weekly basis, Gary Bean and Austin Bridges share the highlights of their and Trisha Bean's collaborative work for L/L Research, along with sharing the daring exploits of a global network of volunteers. Occasionally they may also offer a specific update, a personal reflection, or unconditional love.
1/9 - 1/29
Community Stewardship Circle: Announced the development and planned launch of the Community Stewardship Circle! In short, it is a novel approach designed to empower the bring4th community to exercise self-stewardship in partnership with L/L Research through a community-sourced and community-run circle of stewards. We have been working closely with a stewardship circle of seven lovely beings, spanning three different countries, ages ranging 30s-60s, and 4/7ths female, all longtime veterans of the forums. Their twin and equal responsibilities will include ensuring that the collective agreement to adhere to the guidelines is honored, and serving as loving cultivators and stewards of Bring4th's online communit
The essence of our goal is to empower the community to help aim the ship toward Carla's original seed vision of Bring4th as a place designed to help bring 4th density. This may be fulfilled by being a friendly and safe home for wanderers both weary and ready to learn what the forum community has to teach, which is not merely information or textual study, but how to show up for each other, hold space for one another, and care for each other.
Our greatest gratitude to the first circle of seven undertaking this big job: Aion | Diana | Flofrog | Glow | Louisabell | Patrick | Spaced.
Ra Contact YT:: Continued on with the grand project of creating a text and audio experience from the original Law of One recordings, where Austin cleans up the audio a bit, then Trish meticulously creates a slide-by-slide presentation of the text overlaid with the audio, then Austin reviews, exports, and publishes them to Youtube.
The Ra Contact - Original audio recording - Session 51
The Ra Contact - Original audio recording - Session 52
January 15, 2021: Celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Ra Contact! We collected posts made to facebook and bring4th (links to each in the previous hyperlinked text), and email to share with the surviving member of the original daring trio who, 40 years ago, received a surprise contact whose contents would eventually change the lives of many. If you're reading this, you are probably one of them.
- Translations, completed: As always, the amazing translators have been hard at work to offer the Confederation's message to the different cultures of the world. For us, this involves a number of ways we support the translators and publish their work, from answering questions about various passages that are tricky to interpret or translate, to creating covers, formatting, typesetting, preparing pages to host them, and generally getting the translations suitable to publish on the website. In this round of Blogworthy:
- Translators, working with:
- Dialogued with the eagled eyed Terry Hsu about audiobooks and printings of Chinese-language editions, and through him, made contact with another Chinese-language reader who works for a publisher in order to begin exploration.
- After some dialogue with a Farsi-speaking (Persian) seeker interested in launching youtube videos based on the Law of One, some neural pathways were first connected in the brain and then manifested outward to connect three different lives. Issued separate emails to Pupak, Meysam, and Julien asking each if they'd be interested in connecting with one another. After affirmative replies were received, we delighted in seeing their positivity at making connections. Our sense of is is that the magic of the Creaotor in general, and specifically the space through which fourth density manifests, is the space between people when hearts connect.
- Stewardship Circle
- Had our first video meeting with the CSC! Tanner was the only one we had met previously when he attended a Homecoming several years back but everyone else was new to our eyes. We were all pretty stoked meeting one another as the CSC explored some foundational questions and sought feedback from us.
- Drafted and circulated the announcement draft among the circle then went official and published news to the Bring4th Forums. (See note at the top.)
- Otherwise continued lots of work internally and with the circle, from designing a phased roll-out for the circle, planning and preparing, constructing a pre-flight checklist of everything needing accomplished before they fly solo, and helping to train the CSC.
- Dove into work on updating guidelines around discussion of politics in the forums (an especially tumultuous topic the past several years, as you may imagine), shuffling some forums, users on moderated status, and getting the place spruced up for the new team.
- And meanwhile Garry Fung has been steady on the watch as ever, serving what will be his upcoming final month in an over seven-year stint.
- Light/Lines Newsletter: 156th Edition: The quarterly newsletter went out, with an inspiring Q'uo transcript accompanied by a Note to the Readers, with some small updates on L/L Research's work - Issue #156 - Winter Edition. Printed, prepared, and shipped the paper version.
- Old Archive Site: Still chugging right along, the old archive site still needs various updates, fixes, and special attention from time to time. Like an old reliable ship, upkeep is always necessary.
- New LLResearch.org: Dare we say it? Could it be that the prophecies are true? Whispers on the wind carry rumors that the mythological "new website" has been seen on the horizon. Skeptics may scoff, but the hopeful among us may be rewarded yet. We've (sorta) learned our lesson in giving time-tables, making predictions, or generally getting hyped about something "coming soon." But at the least, we can say that the pace is quickening and extra focus is being given, as Amazing Daniel the Generous continues his steady pace in building what is shaping up to be...well, you'll have to wait and see. There is still much to do, but it certainly feels like we're entering what could be a home stretch. But, keep in mind, it's the home stretch of a project that has been in the works for more than a year (in this iteration, anyways).
- Had a video meeting with Daniel for Round 8 of feedback, then subsequently met internally for a Round 9 review. While Daniel incorporates feedback and continues his long march of web development, we began focusing on creating:
- The Ra Contact Page that will host a lot of resources we've long been eager to share, lots of development on various components of that page
- Updating and building a Directory of Study Groups that involved reaching out to the existing study groups. Including dialogue with the Asheville group who updated their "Starter Kit" for study groups.
- Worked on our "Yellow Ray Page" which is our page to transparently share the financials of the organization.
- And laid out a plan for Events Page, History and Origins Page, and a comprehensive FAQ
- Bring4th: Dialoguing with Steve who's put in a few all-nighters working on updating Bring4th. He hit a dead-end wall thanks to an untraceable error, so for the first time in 12 years of his devoted webmaster service, he accepted our encouragement to get professional help and is contracting out a problem solver. Feel free to send some love to the big guy. Here's a snippet of an email we received at 5:30am: "Guys, I'm pretty deflated right now... I stayed up all night (it's now 5:30am) and I got through a handful of upgrade issues, which I was so psyched about! Then I did one final import of the database, and I get what you see here: [error message screenshot] Something" in the old data is not playing nicely with the newer database layout, and to go through almost 100 tables to figure out where the error might be is next to impossible."
- New Shirt: Diana F., One of the CSC members, mentioned making a meme out of the phrase "Catalyst Happens." Thanks to her inspiration and Trisha's work, L/L added a new shirt to its roster.
- Law of One publisher: Met over the phone with the publisher of the original books to follow-up on a mailed notice containing a definitive resolution of a copyright question about the original books. Also thanked them for the bang-up job that they did on the first ever hardcover boxed set of the original books. And subsequently put together solid stipulations for foreign-language rights to the Law of One designed to help ensure the accuracy and integrity of the translation.
- Nuts and Bolts
- Put together for Jim to sign all of the year-end donation letters and then emailed the non-snail mail versions.
- Processed and shipped orders from the online bookstore
- Scheduling a podcast for Jim and one of our own Law of One Podcasts with our upcoming guest, BJ
- Completed bookkeeping for two weeks
- Fundraiser guide. We have left various guides and notes for ourselves over the years to aid in the yearly preparation, but as we landed on what is likely a (very nearly) finalized process this past year, those guides needed updated, so we created a master guide to navigate all of the different steps and processes.
- Payroll and Taxes: While the aspects of service and spirituality are cool and all, the absolute best part of serving in this position are tedious numbers and tax regulations. Absolutely invigorating! So it's clearly just a huge thrill for us to be untangling a bit of a mess created by our payroll service, and hounding them to fix the problem. And dealing with other various aspects of our the most convoluted aspects of our yellow-ray social complex - tax regulations. Also, issued 1099s.
- Sharing the Confederation's message and L/L's work
- Updated Facebook, Twitter, and Patreon quotes, uploads, news, etc.
- Worked on TRC YouTube videos
- Worked on A Wanderer's Handbook audiobook
- Digitizing project
- German Intelligent Infinity: Received a machine-translation of Matthias Galke's ambitious book, Intelligent Infinity (Intelligente Unendlichkeit). Read through the Table of Contents and the Intro. Based on the Law of One material, Matthias synthesizes an impressive breadth of his lifetime study into the nature of reality using various inputs and tools. Incredible in scope and, even from a DeepL translation, exceedingly well written. It is available in German only at the moment. You can find Intelligente Unendlichkeit here.
- Video Tilting at Windmills: Received an update and questions from Ken in his work to edit specified instances here and there in the videos.
- Call to discuss conspiracies: That sounds salacious. : ) Met with a dear friend to share perceptions of concern around the rise of conspirituality-the increasing intersection between conspiracy/fear-based thinking and spirituality, and the real-world impacts that is causing.
- Channeling Practice Circle: As one of our volunteer contributions to L/L, met at Jim's for another practice circle, for the first time meeting in the daylight hours of the late morning instead of our usual early evening. Both that and the previous session will be on the website shortly.
- Seeker Email: Responded to a great variety of interesting, heartfelt, and insightful rounds of email from seekers around the world. And updated a guide of principles and parameters to replying to share with Trish as part of her training to begin replying to seeker emails of gratitude and story sharing.
Personal sharing & Announcements:
- We at L/L Research would like to share with you the creative, interesting, and often illuminating things that readers are doing in direct connection with the Law of One. Today that includes The Gift of Spiritual Books Project by our friends at the Baycross Foundation. The mission of the project is to make audiobooks of important spiritual works available for free. As their Soundcloud page says:
"The Gift of Spiritual Books Project is a treasury of Love and Truth, offered freely to those who seek and find. With great gratitude to the authors, narrators, and supporters who generously contributed their time, talents and treasures to illuminating those who have ears to hear, May You Have Every Good Blessing!"
We are happy to announce that they have just launched with four freely available audiobook recordings they helped to produce, two of which are directly related to the Law of One:
- Dr. Scott Mandelker's "Universal Vision"
- Joel Weddington's "A Very Human Mission"
Please know that the opinions and interpretations in the above works are those of its creators and do not necessarily reflect any official view of L/L Research. And enjoy!
- Received the catalyzing news that our friend, Laura, she who began volunteering for the prison ministry service in 2016, then took up the transcription of L/L channelings in early 2020 when Aaron retired her service, is moving into hospice on her journey to the doorway. To Laura, we send you all of our love in admiration for everything you are, including in the courage and serenity you demonstrate as move toward the light. We love you.
This is one of the longest lapses for a blogworthy report. This was due to a loss in Gary's family, about which he opens up in the blog post below this one.
11/14 - 1/8
Law of One 40th Anniversary Boxed Set: The publisher of the original Law of One books, Schiffer Publishing, created a beautiful boxed set, rendering the original books in hardback for the first time. Announcement here. We ordered our first sets and added them to the store. Worked with the publisher on assisting their efforts to offer a signed copy in a giveaway.
Youtube: Trish continued her steady march forward in creating the unique Ra contact audio/text videos for Youtube, up to Session 50:
Practice channeling circles: Thanks to Laura's transcription, we also got two new practice channeling transcripts formatted and published to the archive site. Thank you Laura!
Law of One Podcast: We connected to record a great podcast episode on an often-misunderstood topic, psychic greeting. Check out the Law of One Podcast Episode #96.
1983 Session: Published a brand-new 37-year-old Hatonn channeling thanks to Trisha. (See "Channeling mp3s" below.)
- Translations published: Translators remain hard at work bringing the Confederation's message to all corners of the world. The most notable big accomplishment: Fatiha finished the Indonesian translation of The Ra Contact Volume 2, thus completing the Ra Contact in Indonesian! (Which then went through the process of typesetting, formatting, and publishing). Thank you Fathia!
- The Ra Contact: Volume 2 in Indonesian (Thank you, Fatiha!)
- Ra Contact Session 34 in Bulgarian (Thank you, Kirilina!)
- Ra Contact Session 35 in Bulgarian (Thank you, Kirilina!)
- January 16, 2005 - Sunday Meditation in Serbian (Thank you, Alex!)
- January 2, 2005 - Sunday Meditation in Serbian (Thank you, Alex!)
- October 13, 2019 - Law of One Seeker Gathering (Thank you, Louisa!)
- October 26, 2019 - Saturday Meditation in Spanish (Thank you, Louisa!)
- Working with translators:
- Dutch RC - Continued dialogue with Eugenie, the translator aspiring to render Ra into Dutch. After a long span, her pure-hearted intentions were being thwarted by life's demanding nature. Coincidentally, a new Dutch translator interested in the RC, Naomie, made contact with us, then with Jochen, lead of the German publishing house. So Eugenie respectfully released this project to shift her efforts to L/L transcripts or smaller books. Then we initiated the process with Naomie, and dialogued with two other dutch translators, Joost and Lucas, who expressed interest in supporting the effort.
- Greek RC - And it looks like Ra may be making their way into the language that gifted us the term "Logos," that being, Greek. Got Vasilis all set up for a project he is eager and, by the skill of his communication, eminently capable of undertaking.
- Polish Transcripts - Received contact from Marlena who, likewise, has a strong mind, a strong heart, and a strong desire to translate transcripts into Polish, which she has officially commenced.
- Romanian RC - Work with Horia to get the Romanian page all cleaned up and squared away for his recently finished Romanian translations.
- Chinese RC - Received questions from Terry about a Chinese seeker interested in sharing audio of L/L's channeled work.
- Urdu RC - Had several rounds of dialogue with Syed, a seeker in Pakistan who is interested in finding native speakers to help bring Ra into Urdu.
- Czech RC - Fielded some questions from Vojta, lead for the Czech translation team with whom L/L has an official licensing relationship, about copyright questions around the RC.
- Also - worked with Mauro for the Italian RC, B. for the Arabic RC, and Alex for Serbian Transcripts.
- Community Stewardship Circle: Continued working with the stewardship circle-in-training. Put together a comprehensive manual with step by step instructions and illustrations describing how to use the moderator features of the Bring4th forums. Invited the final two participants on, bringing the circle to seven. Created a space for multiparty dialogue on the variety of questions to tackle. Dialogued and showed the ropes of various procedures. And otherwise continued to get excited. Planned to meet with the group the week following Jan 8, and announce the circle to the forums. [And though seldom reported here, worked with Garry Fung in the normal run-of-the-mill weekly moderator duties.]
- New Archive Site: Thanks be to Daniel, blessed is his name, watched all of his explanatory videos on the new site, then went through every nook and cranny and recorded all of our design feedback to help organize and share L/L's work with the readership. Scheduled our eighth round of feedback with Daniel for the week following Jan 8.
- Fundraiser: Since the last Blogworthy, the fundraiser envelopes were finished being stuffed thanks to Trish's hard work, and then delivered to the USPS business mail center and made their way out to thousands of seekers. Then, with no small effort of working out email mailing lists, the email campaign was sent out. Though we took a different approach of offering a message of love and hope instead of asking directly for money, the generosity of the L/L readership continued to amaze this year as we were blessed with support both financial and spiritual. It officially closed on Dec 31, having raised an incredible 38 thousand. Thank you everyone who contributed. And a big shout out to Craig, Kyle, Beatriz, Julie, Morris, Mark, Shahla, Sharon, Jeff, and Zhang.
- Minnesota Theosophical Society: On December 14, Jim and Austin joined the Minnesota Theosophical Society via Zoom to offer a presentation on the Law of One and take some Q&A. It was a great meeting with people new to the material and interested in learning more. They presented for an hour and responded to Q&As afterward.
- Channeling mp3s: Continued a many-year'd project to get the large library of past channeling from cassette to digital. It was all transferred to CD years back and is now being imported into mp3. Over the hump of the project, and Trish discovered some transcripts online that said "inaudible" but in fact had audio. Began working to get those transcribed. Also discovered transcripts missing their audio, and some audio sessions missing their transcripts.
- Sharing the Confederation's message and L/L's work
- Updated Twitter, Facebook, and Patreon with quotes, uploads, news, etc.
- Continued creating the Ra Contact YouTube videos (linking the text with the original audio)
- Worked on A Wanderer's Handbook audiobook
- Nuts & Bolts
- Processed and shipped orders from the online bookstore
- Completed seven weeks' worth of bookkeeping, including year-end things
- Worked with (hounded down and then grilled) the CPA to finally resolve a nagging question about the endowment's impact on our classification, learning that L/L should likely not need to become a private foundation due to potential gains from the investment.
- Put together an annual budget and held a budget meeting, fine-tuned and approved the budget with the Board.
- Updated the Christmas address database for Jim to ship out his/LL's Christmas cards, along with assisting Jim with accepting invites from podcasters and in other tech questions.
- Performed end of year book inventory, switched out annual files, made fixes to the archive site, and as ever, took care of the tech issues that arise.
- On the less joyful side of our work, the yellow-ray dimension, being an official registered employer brings flurries of intense paperwork needed to stay compliant and make sure our good friends at the IRS are happy. Many tax codes were read, numbers were reviewed, checked, changed, compensated, and updated for the coming year. All ongoing, no less, thanks to mistakes made on the payroll service's part.
- Practice Circle: Though not part of our L/L duties and undertaken on our own time as volunteers, met for a practice channeling circle.
- Tilting at Windmills Video: Received update from Ken that he has resumed work on his part of the edits. Hopefully not long before it's turned back over to us.
Personal sharing & Announcements:
- Our dear friend, BJ Harden Jones, a leader in the Asheville Law of One Study Group and TOTOH (Temple of the Open Heart) is a long time student and teacher of Byron Katie's "The Work." She has launched a fantastic-looking year-long course called "Abiding": http://totoh.org/abiding/
- At the request of our friend Doug Scott, our other friend, Joseph Dartez, authored Ra On Being Queer, an article that tackles the challenging-to-interpret Q&As on homosexuality.
- Our friend Ionsul Ferrin shared this call to her heart that looked very worthwhile: "This is a project that really has my heart. Laurie Lazar was bringing Authentic Relating connection practices to inmates before quarantine measures made it so that the incarcerated can't have anyone (volunteers, clergy, or friends and family) visit them. So she and her team have created AR Workbooks to bring at least some amount of connection and hope into prisons. Please consider donating and sharing this link. Thank you and much love!"
Gary: This is an unusually personal entry for me.
When my inner alarm clock activated at 18 years old, awakening my spiritual seeking, and when I discovered the Law of One the following year, setting me on the journey I still walk today, my little sister, Noelle, seven years younger than me, was the one who could understand. Over the years she listened very non-judgmentally to me drone on about densities and wanderers, asking questions, being supportive, and sharing with me her spiritual aspirations. She would even later attend an L/L Homecoming in 2011 and make friends of my friends. I was was more bonded with her than my other siblings, Tessa and Adam. I felt that she was likely a wanderer, that we had a connection that transcended this lifetime.
When I moved away from home to live with Carla and Jim to pursue my own lights in 2003 - a perplexing departure from the perspective of those in my birth world - Noelle was heartbroken, but unlike the others she somehow understood. She and I remained close in the following years, adventuring together, introducing her to the Smokies, going on roadtrips, etc. We both planned and expected that Noelle would live near me in the not distant future. To this day I have a kitchen table, a microwave, and other home affects in my garage that I've held with the thought that Noelle could use them when she moves, such was the inevitability in my mind. It was just a matter of when it would happen.
But that project kept getting delayed. She struggled in difficult relationships and, unbeknownst to me, she struggled with an addiction to prescription pills. We drifted the past few years, not in heart but in preoccupation with our own lives and sources of catalyst.
I had had some awareness a few years back that both she and my other sister used. But by that point it was framed mostly in the past tense. There had been some turbulence in our family, but there was little outer drama - no rehabs, interventions, major disputes, separations, etc.
Then this year, news emerged that Noelle was using again. We all tried to talk with her, to offer support, but she gave us the illusion that everything was under control, that she was turning a corner, that she knew what she was doing, and that she was just too "embarrassed" to really talk about it. She kept up appearances and held down her job. But, her financial records coupled with later anecdotal information triangulated between her partner and my sister Tessa would reveal the devastating depths that she kept hidden from us.
In terms of the addiction itself, she never binged and she carefully controlled her amounts. But one horrible night, Noelle got hold of a fake pill. For various market-driven reasons, suppliers will mimic a Percocet pill with another, more cheaply and readily available drug called Fentanyl, which also happens to be more dangerous. Noelle unknowingly got a fentanyl pill, and her boyfriend, a soulmate she had known since high school, found her in their living room without a heart rate.
This was Saturday morning at 9am, two days after Thanksgiving and three days before her 33rd birthday. Just a few hours prior at 6am she had been messaging my siblings, me, and our spouses in her usual sunny and positive mood; her final message was about getting my mom a Christmas present. One plays the game with the minutes between six and nine a.m. in the torment of what might have happened had her boyfriend gone into the living room earlier, had Noelle used later, and so on.
Noelle's passing devastated my family. The pain compounded due to having no foreknowledge of what was coming. So sudden and unexpected, none had opportunity to say goodbye, to hold her, to be with her, to clarify our hearts. Then the layer of what ifs and could--we-have-done-something-differently... so many turns of cirumstance... questions that may never stop haunting my mom. I would have moved heaven and earth if I had known.
My mom is a strong, well-armored person, having endured a good deal of hardship in her single-pointed mission to raise her four kids. She lived for and through us. Her core identity, a mother. She and Noelle stayed very close. Many nights my mom stayed up for hours chatting with her "Welly," looking forward to the multiple visits Noelle would make to spend with her after my mom moved out west.
My dad, a much simpler person, adored Noelle. However, after a stroke and the onset of dementia, only in his mid-60s, he comprehends the loss and he cries, but the cards reshuffle and he's off in another loop of memory. Nearly every time I talk with him on the phone, he reads to me a poem from a card next a picture he has of her. Noelle had been helping to care for him in his now dependent state.
Her partner, a mutually acknowledged soulmate who lived right down the street from us growing up, they having met in high school and reconnected two years ago, had wanted to marry her and have kids, but the instability and the non-transparency of the addiction proved an insurmountable stumbling block for both of tehm. He has been launched into something of wilderness following the loss.
My brother Adam, and his wife Lori like a sister to Noell, lived close to Noelle the past couple years. They feel her absence intensely. The oldest of their two kids, Logan, a three-and-a-half year old blond-headed ball of energy and smiles would run excitedly to the window when Aunt Noelle would pull up, and still asks about her at night. Noelle adored both my brother's and my sister's kids and always had a blast playing with them. It pains us all that Logan probably won't remember his aunt as he grows.
My sister, Tessa, was due with her second child eight weeks from the day of Noelle's death. Tess had already decided to name her upcoming baby girl Brynn Noelle, and she had asked her baby's namesake to be the godmother. Noelle exploded with gratitude and tears. Noelle was already head over heels in love with Colton, Tessa's four-year old. Tess, who has been out West with my mom for a couple years, was chomping at the bit to move back to Ohio, eager to have Noelle be a daily part of her kids' lives.
My sisters were each other's best friends. They fought fiercely but loved each other intensely. My parents always said that they had Adam and me all over again but as girls. But unlike my brother and I, they played so much more together. And whereas Adam and I were absorbed in our video games, those two used their imagination inventing games and scenarios.
I love my family, and on top of my own grief, my heart breaks for their unique pain in losing that which cannot be retreived or replaced from the incarnate standpoint. Fortunately, they are strong in the open heart. We've been of mutual support to one another in a process that has brought us together in shared pain and immense loss.
Noelle was a very, very bright light. She was so awesome. She laughed at everything. Laughter was one of her ways of expressing love. It brightened everyone's mood, made people feel accepted. She loved everyone. She was so much more colorful than my dry personality. She never wasted an opportunity to dance like a goof, no matter who was watching. And so flipping creative too. She had poetry and artistry in her. I was blown away seeing the small glimpses that she would let express themselves. I always encouraged her to nurture and give those creative impulses space to grow, but she denied and buried her gifts underneath the intractable certainty that she wasn't worthy. She had dreams and hopes, of travel, of service, and most strongly, of motherhood. She would have made a beautiful mother. She treated her cats like her kids as it was. But there was always something in the way of her dreams. It is now clear in retrospect that she never fully faced or communicated her demons.
Noelle was in a lot of pain that stretched back years, but she didn't open up to us about it. She not infrequently ghosted us. And it gave me a lot of opportunity in the weeks following her death to drown in the depths of regret and remorse that I wasn't there to help her when she most needed it. I've never so yearned for a time machine, not just to rescue her from that moment, but to go back to childhood itself and do it all over. I don't want memories with my peer group, I want more memories with my sisters.
I didn't know. I know that an addict has to want help, but I nevertheless was saddled with the doubt that had I known more, had I invested more... instead there is the catalyst of the terrible sorrow that comes from becoming acutely, chokingly aware of all the missed opportunities for connection, opportunities that can never be gotten back in this life.
Though the light is becoming more apparent than the darkness, 41 years of life have not in all their sum produced tears in quantity as those that began when I received that horrible phone call. If you reading this take anything with you, let it be to reach out to your loved one and not let time slip from your hands.
Death is so final, thwarting the one thing the heart cries out for by slicing down an irreversible, impenetrable barrier. It then presents two stark choices: resistance and the consequent increase in pain, if not insanity; or acceptance, surrender, and the opening to the pathway to healing.
The result of intelligent planning and sensing maybe, I had begun reading the book Journey of Souls just a couple months prior. It was my first foray into attempting to understand the processes and experiences of life between life. Having firsthand accounts of death and the hereafter proved to be a light when the darkness encroached. As has a reading with a local intuitive who, in my subjective heart, was able to connect with Noelle's soul on the other side and relay information that was illuminating, clarifying, and healing, particularly as it highlighted a pathway of preincarnational planning at work. As has the bulwark of the Law of One in the knowledge that all is well, that there are no mistakes, and that nothing is lost. But the human side of me that is woven together with the threads of story, memory, emotion...
I have the big view. I know I will see her wandering soul again. I know I have traveled with Noelle in one capacity or another many times before and will many times again. But it sucks, this departure. We had no time to say goodbye, to tell her how eternally...
I love you Noelle. I will see you again, my dear sweet sister. And when at the doorway, I will go gladly.
Noelle with Eeyore
My brother Adam, sisters Tessa and Noelle, and in front of me, our dad
On our way to a kayaking adventure
At Trisha's and my wedding, the DJ didn't have Noelle's name to announce as the wedding party entered the reception. So she fist bumped her bouquet in the air chanting her own name, then did her funny weird dance on the dance floor
Breaking it down later that night. (If noticed, a sticker of Trish and me on her arm.)
In the wedding's procession.
Noelle reading a Q'uo quote at the ceremony that Trish and I wrote
Noelle and Tessa in our family's stylish Chevy Astro Van
The girls with dad
Noelle busting up with our nephew Logan
A concert I took Noelle to, she was lost in her groove
We're on the Ohio River to watch fireworks. Cropped out are Austin and Ken
One of her visits to Louisville
The four siblings
Me with my grown-up sister
Me with my new baby sister
Noelle and Tessa in flight, best friends from the beginning
My mother chose the name Noelle because she was born on December 1st. She arrived near Christmas and departed around the same time 33 years later, a gift to us all
10/31 - 11/13
Law of One Podcast: Connected with kind and gentle soul, Shruthi Bajaj, to try a new format of podcast. We discussed between the desires and obligations on our life path, preincarnational planning, and the nature of service and acceptance. Check out Episode 95 here.
Jim's Ra Commentary: After a five-year journey, Jim reached the end of session 106, thus finishing his sixth pass through the material! It is a unique blend of insight into the material combined with personal reflections of his journey of conducting the Ra contact. We'll have to find a way to harvest and organize it all when he's finished with his new round that began here.
TOTOH website: In their efforts to discover what wants to be born, our dear friends in Asheville have been laying the foundations and building the framework of what they call the Temple of the Open Heart. We're happy to share that their first website is now live! https://totoh.org
Ra Contact YouTube: Continued on with the steady march of publishing the Ra Contact Youtube project-
- Jim Interviews: Helped Jim get set up to record a podcast with a new friend named Roland, then with a January interview with Nicholas, and also received word that his previous interview with Rafa has gone live.
- Translations and translators:
- Romanian: In great news, Horia has completed The Ra Contact Volume 2 in Romanian! (Along with a revision of Volume 1). After getting a cover created, it has been published to the archive site here.
- Italian: Two different translators have generously undertaken some extra work to help improve indexes - Fedir has created a different, linkable index for his Ukrainian translation, and Mauro, the Italian translator, has taken our Index 500 and made it streamlined for translators to get the terms translated, organized alphabetically, and split into Volume 1, Volume 2, or the Unified Version. A huge gift! Thank you Mauro.
- Italian: Worked with Mauro on questions about the Italian translation and the "A Note About this Translation." (He reports that Italy may be on the frontlines again of the pandemic.)
- Dutch: Dialogued with Eugenie about the fate of the Dutch translation of the RC. She reached session 4 but may not be able to continue.
- Arabic: Worked with B. on questions about the first ever Arabic translation of the RC.
- Serbo-Croatian: Helped get Alex set up to begin his journey of translating transcripts into Serbo-Croatian.
- Bulgarian: And enjoyed some questions and dialogue with Kirilina who is translating the RC into Bulgarian.
- Community Stewardship Circle: Enjoyed an exciting and exceptionally harmonious process in the effort to build a community stewardship circle for the Bring4th forums. Lots of dialogue, planning, structuring, inviting, beginning training, etc. Announcement not yet made so we will be short on the details at the moment. As part of the process enjoyed a long talk with Garry F. about forums, his journey, and his growing passion for facilitating one-day law of one gatherings around the world. He is over seven years of volunteering as a moderator for Bring4th.
- Coming Home Online Event Survey: Followed up with responses to our survey to attendees of our first online event, learning that yes, people would like to attend other similar online events. So stay tuned!
- Fundraiser 1: Began the yearly marathon known as the annual fundraiser, always starting in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. One of the first and most intensive parts of the journey is the creating of the physical mailing address list. This involves getting the addresses from the various sources in our systems, removing or changing the returned addresses from last year's fundraiser, bending Excel to its limits to format the list in a way USPS will accept cleanly, submitting it to USPS and getting back a list of rejected addresses, checking, verifying, and correcting/removing those returned addresses (a couple times), getting a clean list through the USPS system and receiving the final files for submitting the mass mail job and creating a mail merge to print envelopes. And thus it was done!
- Fundraiser 2: And then there was the drafting the annual letter combined with discussion with the board of directors. And the printing... lots and lots of printing. As of this report, all the letters and envelopes have been printed, and about a third of them stuffed.
- Seeker Email: As usual, there was plenty of email to respond to from seekers writing in from around the world, ranging from requests for guidance in metaphysical experiences or issues, questions about the Law of One and other material, simple sharing of stories, ideas for projects, copyright permission requests, and much more. The inbox is never empty. Also began refining a protocol of principles, guidelines, and resources for how we at L/L reply to seekers, as Trish is going to begin helping with that effort. Hers is a voice for compassionate, understanding, and encouraging, exactly the welcoming energy we try to embody for seekers.
- December presentation: Got all the ducks in a row for a zoom presentation that Jim, Austin, and Gary will offer in response to a chapter of the theosophical society.
- Book orders & bookkeeping: Processed and shipped book orders and performed two weeks of bookkeeping. (Trish now flying solo!)
- Social Media & Videos: Continued stitching together the Ra Contact youtube videos, editing AWH audiobook, and sharing the Confederation messages via Facebook and Twitter, and sharing L/L updates via Patreon.
- Website updates: Updated and freshened up the About Us section on the archive site. | Thanks to a prompting from Thomas, created a cover image for the Unified Index for the Ra Contact archive site page (for German as well as English). | Received rapid tech support from Steve E. on the some needs for Bring4th.
Received from Jochen the third quarter report of his, Misha's, and other volunteers' activities for the German/French publishing operations:
- Misha and Jochen shared a great zoom call in July, sharing about life in general and the current book projects.
- Jochen completed a review of the German Ra Contact Volumes 1 & 2.
- Misha completed her translation of "A Book of Days": Une pensée pour chaque jour; and immediately took up translating the next big work of "A Concept Guide". Since Misha moved into her new flat, paused the translation for a short while. Austin and Jochen completed L/L's PDF version, and Jochen published it as kindle and softcover books.
- Jochen collected some questions for future channeling sessions.
- More product pages of German and French books for L/L's online store were created.
- While working on the German Ra Contact blog dasgesetzdeseinen.de, Jochen discovered the amazing video clip with Charlie Parker and a new witness of the Pascagoula event: https://www.wlox.com/2019/03/15/pascagoula-ufo-new-witness-comes-forward/
- Gary and Jochen shared an amazing 5 hour zoom call, in which according to Jim, "all the problems of the world must have been solved", which is what actually happened. Because resulting from the call is the template agreement that will give Jochen the permission to cooperate with more international translators in order to publish single works of L/L Research in new languages through the Das Gesetz des Einen-Verlag. A wonderful achievement that took a good deal of time and work, into which Austin was involved as well.
- Jochen began the work of creating the German and French "Unified Index" documents that are still missing from the "Ra Contact" three-book package.
- Matthias Galke started sending his final versions of his first volume of the study literature series "Understanding the Law of One", entitled "Intelligent Infinity". It is planned to be published on the 15th of January 2021.
- Jochen received some quite encouraging and well researched information from the consultancy with which he is involved temporarily.
- More German translations of early sessions from 1974 were completed and published. And together with graphic designer Eyal a beautiful set of template cards (of and for various density Confederation speakers) were designed, especially meant for social media uses.
And we received Jochen's annual report that also includes a visioning for the year to come. Thank you, dear Jochen and Misha!! Wonderful bright-hearted beings and friends you are.
Jochen: Looking back on the past four quarters, the sixth year of Das Gesetz des Einen-Verlag, and the fifth year of Maison d'édition La Loi Une, I'd like to say that our personal meeting last year has certainly empowered our work, and created the basis of trust that may allow us to form an even more stable structure; a structure that may be able to multiply our reach, and may extent serving humanity beyond what we can reach individually in our lifetimes.
To be offering one arch, as we do, in these stormy times of Space/Time weather on Earth, is one of the greatest honors and it continues to make me most happy to be part of our initiative. May the reach of the helpful hands that we are permitted to extend continue to grow to invite more and more souls into our ships to New Earth.
It is in this light and with this mission that I want to continue our work through Das Gesetz des Einen-Verlag.
With Love and Light
And if your heart should need to melt in purity and release, here is 37 seconds of Here Comes the Sun. Volume up.
10/17 - 10/30
Youtube: Continued publishing the Ra Contact audio/transcript project to Youtube, a tag-team effort where Austin applies a light-touch of noise cleanup to the file (only enough to avoid altering the quality of the voices on the recording), sends them on to Trish who does the bulk of the work in the slow and tedious process of matching up the transcript with the audio, and sends them back to Austin for double-checking, exporting, and publishing to Youtube.
Law of One Podcast: And on our own podcast front, we met to record episode #94 of the Law of One Podcast, where we did an old-school episode of responding to multiple questions about various topics from different listeners. Then edited, mastered, and published it. In this episode we discussed:
- How can we maintain the experience of unity day to day?
- Ego and personality.
- How do we help people addicted to suffering?
- What is a kundalini experience?
Take a listen here: https://llresearch.org/podcast/default.aspx
Bring4th: Experienced a bit of a wakeup call in the forums of L/L Research's community website, Bring4th.org. The question was raised about whether the forums ought to be closed as they had, in the OP's perception, become detuned (and thus might adversely impact the mission of L/L Research). Reinforcing this conclusion, there was an evident lack of engagement/stewardship from L/L. On the former point, members disagreed. On the latter point, members agreed and felt more stewardship of some kind was needed. Though Garry (our friend from Australia who has been voluntarily moderating the forums for seven years) has kept his watchful eye on the forums, and though both he and Austin have sprung into action when an infringement on the guidelines was being made, there has been lack of active stewardship on our end.
This splash of cold water catalyzed an epiphany that opened the doors to an entirely new and needed pathway of evolution. The gist is this: the forums represent an online community that require greater investment from every regular member, but particularly from a circle of stewards tasked with the logistical and spiritual responsibility of both moderating and cultivating the forums. Almost 12 years since the website was born, we are finally realizing that we at the L/L center lack the resources of bandwidth to participate much in the latter. Such a circle of stewards needs to be community-sourced and community-run.
Thus was born an idea of a community moderator circle that would balance between autonomous agency and partnership with L/L Research to ensure alignment with L/L's mission. We had a long meeting with Garry (two r's) to talk the plan over. Then Gary (one r) launched this thread, and work got underway.
Part of the epiphany came by way of realizing that - despite high turnover, the discord that ripples through the forums now and then, the "solipsistic braggadocio" that makes its appearance here and there - there are many 8-11 year-old accounts that are still actively engaged. In the face of the aforementioned challenges and the limitations of online connecting, a core community has hung on! This is worth preserving and cultivating into harmonious, loving, and productive online community.
The essence of our goal is to empower the community to help aim the ship toward Carla's original seed vision of Bring4th as a placed designed to help bring 4th density. This could be fulfilled by being a friendly and safe home for weary wanderers while actively, consciously, collaboratively working to shine a steady healing light into this troubled and unstable world.
- Translator Index: The "Index 500" (as we internally dubbed it, as it had over 500 entries) is a massive and comprehensive index of terms and their corresponding Q&As that was very uniquely formatted for the Ra Contact Volumes 1 and 2. That formatting was a complicated and tedious feat that is not easy to alter or replicate. That presents a problem for translators who want to translate the index to include in their respective translated version, since the act of both translating the terms and rearranging them for alphabetical order will alter it drastically and unravel the formatting work completely. After discussing with Jochen how he approached the topic, the idea to create a separate translator index with simpler formatting that can easily be translated and rearranged (yet isn't as neat, readable, or compact), was born. So taking the unformatted master copy of the Index 500, a new and simplified Translator Index was born. Then the subsequent task of splitting it for Volumes 1 and 2 was (halfway) done, and delivered unto Mauro to include in the coming Italian translation.
- New website: After Daniel delivered the keys to the new CMS system for the website a couple weeks ago, continued to test out the system and learn all of the intricacies and quirks of our CMS. Unfortunately, our friend Daniel experienced a bit of a setback due to a computer malfunction, but we'll hopefully be back in full steam ahead soon.
- Translations: Per usual, the amazing translators continue their great efforts to make the material available to seekers all around the world.
- Garry's Adelaide report: Received word from our dear friend, Garry, that he, in working with Kyall K, completed his fourth small Law of One gathering in Adelaide, Australia! He describes how the group became an "extremely cohesive" whole as he shone a light on each participant with loving words and on each segment of the diverse schedule with enthusiasm for the gift that each gave the circle.
- Archive site: As usual, lots of little maintenance tasks needing performed for the archive site which usually wouldn't merit the grandeur of its own bullet point, but we also added a note in the 2020 Transcript Library that points readers to the practice channeling circles, since that is where our ongoing channeling is. While at it, also gave a redesign to the practice channeling circle page to make navigation more efficient: https://llresearch.org/homecomings/channeling_circles/channeling_circles.aspx
- Practice Channelings: And about those, the whole group-Jim, Kathy, Trish, Austin, Gary-has been in dialogue about whether and how to meet in a time when the pandemic is again surging and our governor is recommending tightened restrictions. To some of this is fear-based to consider life adjustments. For us, three of the five of us are in vulnerable categories due either to age or a compromised immune system, so we are trying to err on the side of caution. But the service of channeling calls to our hearts, especially in a time when a contemporary line may be more desired than ever.
- Jim interview: Got Jim set up to record a video podcast for Youtube with a fellow named Rafa. It should be published to listen to in the near future. Stay tuned!
- Sharing the Confederation's message and L/L's work
- A listener tipped us off to the ability to add our podcast to Spotify, who seems to be making an entry into the podcast sharing realm. Got us added. You can add us to your Spotify list here: https://open.spotify.com/show/71K2p6mNcJOSAgUIHO9Gfq
- Updated Twitter Facebook with quotes and Patreon with L/L uploads, news, etc.
- Worked on the Ra Contact YouTube videos
- Worked on AWH audiobook
- Processed and shipped orders from the online bookstore
- Worked with a theosophical group for setting up an zoom presentation in December
- Worked with a special guest for an upcoming podcast in December
- Worked with the One Center (Taiwanese publisher of three of our books) on what to do with their remaining stock of two books that won't be renewed (What is Love and Secrets of the UFO), while getting AWH renewed and signed onto an ebook version!
- Seeker Email: Processed a couple weeks worth of interesting and heartfelt email from around the globe.
- Coming Home survey: After our successful online workshop at the beginning of the month, we sent out a survey to the participants to share their reflections and get an idea for whether or not they would likely attend a similar event in the future.
- Nuts and Bolts:
- Got Steve set up with access to a Creative Cloud subscription to help him with all of his webmastery and Bring4th related tasks.
- After successfully getting set up with a great mass email service utilizing our Amazon email servers, we were able to completely close all accounts for older email services.
- Tumblr from Bring4th
- Completed QuickBooks bookkeeping for 10.17-10.29
- Began work with CPA on questions regarding certain impact of the endowment on L/L
Gary: This 3-min video called "A New View of the Moon" added delight to my consciousness: https://youtu.be/XCrJ3NflOpE.
In the video, people are going about their day, their minds likely preoccupied with the circling concerns or their present conversations. For a moment they are stopped in the experience of awe and wonder made available simply by the sight of their local celestial neighbor in greater detail and clarity. I have to wonder if the magnitudes greater awe and love we feel for the Law of One operates similarly when Ra pulls back to the curtains to reveal the grandest, most sophisticated and profound view of the cosmos and spiritual evolution.
* * *
We at L/L Research do our best to support those who are called to bring the Confederation material into their native language for the benefit of interested spiritual seekers. In dialogue with Mauro, a volunteer translator working on the Italian Ra Contact, we received the following reply that was so moving we asked if we could share it with others. He kindly allowed us to. Thank you, Mauro, and thank you ALL translators who help this message of unity to reach every corner of our planet. <3
GB: I am amazed that you haven't quit the project after having to navigate this minutia. It probably feels maddening to translate all these details when an infinite treasure of spiritual wisdom awaits in Sessions 1-106. Thank you for your persistence.
Mauro: Should I quit??? Naaaay! I don't think so!
I only took a little pause now, because of earthly, pretty intense, businesses, but I'm really looking forward to continue this amazing work.
I have to tell you, in these very dark times (only for those who have not eyes to see the light within), sitting at my desk and isolating myself in order to do this work is like entering a magic bubble where space and time run different, where air is only filled of love and light and where I do really enter some kind of meditating state of consciousness and feel a little closer to the One Infinite Creator. Sometimes (like now, by the way) I really break down in tears.
How could I even think about quitting all of this?!?!? I'd rather stay in that bubble more and more, possibly bringing in all the people I can!
Once again, thank you very much, guys, for allowing me to accomplish this work, which I feel it is one of the most important in my life.
I love you more than my words can say.
I shared this with dear Kirilina, the Bulgarian translator, who echoed the sentiment saying "I miss the time I translate the transcripts because they always take me to another dimension where I feel at home."
|=Blog Entry || ||=Today|